Act 36 - Date:
19 December 1992
Section
4: The Extended N‑Team
Part
1: The Ultimate Encounter
Chapter
8: Preparations for the Race
Characters: Thunder Cats, Silver Hawks, Mario-Team, N‑Team
Base, Mason-Team, Darkwing’s Justice Ducks, N‑Team Secret Division,
Mon*Star’s Mob, Plundarrian-Team, Brain-Team Base, Fearsome Ten, Brain-Team
Secret Division
December
19.
Ganon’s Tower,
|
W |
hile all of
the racing preparations were going on, Ganon was on Hyrule, preparing his own
series of mad attacks with his villainous companion, Agahnim. It was Ganon who always attempted to steal
the Triforce from Princess Zelda and Link.
The
Triforce, an object of immense power, had three pieces. The red Triforce piece was the Triforce of
Power, the green Triforce piece the Triforce of Wisdom, and the blue Triforce
piece the Triforce of Courage. When
referred to in the singular without qualifiers, the term ‘Triforce’ referred to
the three Triforce pieces together. The
people of Hyrule believed that the Triforce had been deifacted, or made by the
gods.
Uncounted
thousands of years ago, Ganon was the first to set hands on the Triforce in his
wish to become ruler of all of Hyrule.
The Triforce granted part of his wish by immediately giving him the
His evil
power flowed through the Light World of Hyrule, where his advance was stopped
through much bloodshed and battle during a period known as the Imprisoning
War. This occurred so long ago that few
specifics are known.
There are
villains and there are villains. This
particular villain was the type that did not know the meaning of the word
‘surrender,’ but he was forced back into the Golden Land, turned by the
Triforce’s powerful magic into the Dark World, his own private playground.
According
to legend, the Seven Legendary Wise Men of Hyrule sealed the gate between the
Dark World and the Light World. For
centuries to come, inhabitants of the Light World, except the descendants of
the Wise Men, forgot about Ganon. But
Ganon never forgot for a second his defeat, his wishes, or the powerful knights
and wizards of Hyrule. His own private
playground was not enough to suit his evil interests.
One day,
centuries after Ganon’s defeat, nearly two thousand years before the Extended N‑Team
was formed, it was a time of Link and Zelda’s most critical ancestors—who,
incidentally, were also called Link and Zelda.
Ganon saw his revenge come into sight with a budding wizard known as
Agahnim, who dwelt in the Light World.
Ganon could not escape the Dark World, but Agahnim could enter and leave
the Dark World with Ganon’s magic.
Agahnim had ambitions of his own to conquer the Light World. Ganon magically transported Agahnim to his
lair, his tower on the
Agahnim
returned to Hyrule and secretly caused disasters that threatened the kingdom’s
existence. The king had to act
quickly. Agahnim went to the king and
alleviated the problems he had caused.
Not knowing the cause of the disasters, the king quickly made Agahnim
his vizier.
That was a
mistake. This gave Agahnim royal access
to seven female descendants of the Seven Wise Men, and their energy was what
Ganon and Agahnim needed to open the portal between the Dark World and the
Light World so Ganon could attack.
Agahnim eliminated the king by sending him into the Dark World and
Link’s parents because they stood between Agahnim and the Dark World.
Agahnim
started sending the seven maidens into the Dark World, each time making the
gate’s seal more and more brittle. By
the time the sixth maiden was sent to the Dark World, the seal was almost
broken. Only one maiden remained: Princess Zelda. The night before she was supposed to be sent
to the Dark World, she telepathically communicated with Link and his
uncle. Link’s uncle, forbidding him from
leaving the house, left with the family sword and shield.
Link waited
and waited until something burst. He had
to get to the castle and free Zelda. He
got a lamp and trudged outside. It was
raining to beat everything—not unlike Liquidator’s rain, actually. Link found his uncle wounded in a secret
tunnel leading into the
Being a
resourceful young man, Link found these, several other extremely helpful items,
and the Master Sword, but unfortunately he also found that he was too late to
keep Agahnim from sending Zelda into the Dark World. After a difficult battle with the wizard,
Link found himself transported to Ganon’s playground, the Dark World. Link learned that he had to rescue the seven
maidens to enter the wizard’s lair and defeat him—not an easy task!
Link had to
fight through a palace so dark he could barely see; a swampy palace so wet that
it was a wonder that he did not catch pneumonia; a palace with so many
entrances one could never find out where one was going to land; a palace with a
boss who hated even the slightest glimmer of light; a palace so cold it was a
wonder one would not freeze to death; a palace so swampy that one would be
amazed to not get stuck in a quagmire; a palace with enough paths to confuse an
expert maze solver; and a palace with so many dangers that one would be lucky
to make it to the third floor alive.
In the last
palace, Link found Agahnim, waiting to pay him back. Link vanquished him again and this time
seemed to kill him. Ganon arose from
Agahnim’s body and flew to the Pyramid of Power, where the Triforce was
stashed. Link pursued.
A titanic
battle ensued in the Pyramid. When Ganon
extinguished the torches, Link used the Fire Rod to turn them on and showed
Ganon. He struck him with his sword and
shot him with Silver Arrows, thus defeating him. After that, he took the Triforce and restored
the world to its rightful form. Everyone
turned out unhindered, and everything went its course for just over a thousand
years.
Then, Ganon
returned! During the next millennium,
Hyrule fell a great fall. The Triforce
of Courage was lost in the excitement.
Ganon managed to get his hands on the Triforce of Power.
Only a few
years ago from this date, Princess Zelda, who knew about Ganon from her
history, separated the Triforce of Wisdom into eight pieces and had them
scattered throughout the kingdom. Ganon
soon captured her. Had it not been for
Impa, her nurse and servant, Link would have been unable to do anything.
Ganon’s
servants were chasing Impa, and they happened on Link. Young Link fought away the wizard’s servants
with the strength of a grown man, and Impa told him of Princess Zelda’s
fate. Link recovered the eight pieces of
the Triforce of Wisdom, assembled them, and save the princess from Ganon. It was a long and difficult journey, but Link
found Ganon and trounced him the same way his ancestor had: by using the Silver Arrow. Link now had the Triforce of Power and the
Triforce of Wisdom. He saved Zelda and
all was safe for a few years.
Link came
of age and found the true meaning of ‘Triforce.’ He had known already that it was powerful and
that its components were in the shape of triangles, but he found that the name
meant that there was a third component:
the Triforce of Courage. The
young man discovered this when the princess fell into a coma induced by none
other than Ganon. Ganon had located the
Triforce of Courage.
Link,
learning that he needed the Triforce of Courage to awaken Zelda and complete
the entire Triforce, set out on an adventure to retrieve it. He had to go through seven ruined palaces all
over the world. The first six unlocked
the door to the seventh, the
The letters
were not actually on the Triforces, but they are shown here to show the
configuration of the complete Triforce.
‘W’ stands for Wisdom; ‘P’ stands for Power; and ‘C’ stands for
Courage. With the
restoration of the Triforce came a few years of peace. Then, Ganon restored his old minion, Agahnim,
to life. The terrible duo then decided
to assist MotherBrain and the Brain-Team whenever they could.
At Ganon’s
underworld labyrinthine lair, he and Agahnim were contemplating the situations
at hand. “We must get the Triforce, Agahnim,”
said Ganon, for what seemed the millionth time.
“Unfortunately, Link and Zelda will probably not be good enough drivers
for Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa’s race
challenge. Unless, of
course, we work some of our magic on them.”
“My fellow
wizard, even if Link and Zelda were able to be in the race, they will have
between 56 and 61 nosy pals who will not be in the race and will still try to
stop us.”
“You’re
right,” said Ganon.
“May I make
a suggestion, Your Powerfulness?” a Moblin asked.
“What do
you want, you idiot?” asked Ganon.
“Uh, why
not call Prince Ludwig and ask him to make sure that all members from the N‑Team
are there?”
“You idiot. It’ll never
work!” Ganon paused and considered
it. “Hey. We could summon Prince Ludwig and request him
to make certain that all members from the N‑Team are present for the
races.”
“Oh, a
brilliant decision, Ganon,” said Agahnim.
This idea
did not go through exactly as planned.
As soon as Agahnim had finished his praise, the one who was supposed to
be called did call: the diabolical
Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa himself. Ludwig’s hologram appeared suddenly over a
crystal ball in the room.
“This is
Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa calling Ganon,” said
Ludwig. “Please respond.”
Ganon
approached the hologram. “Yes, Your
Royal Diabolicalness. This is Ganon.”
“Ganon, the
Triforces come to my attention. I
realize that Link and Zelda constantly keep you from gaining its great power.”
“That is
true, Your Evilness.”
“I can work
it out so that they—or, for that matter, any member of the N‑Team—will
not be able to stop you from gaining its powers.”
“In return
for your service, I can use the Triforce’s power to help you win that
race. Ha, ha, ha! Evil will surely triumph in the end.”
“Let’s not
get too cocky. Those N‑Team
members are very tricky. I’ll do my best
to keep all the N‑Team in the area where the race is to be watched, but
that’s all I can do myself. I’ll have
the members of my team who are not in the race where they can watch the
doors. If all goes well, you can have
the entire Triforce in your hands before the conclusion of the tenth and final
lap of the winner of the first race.
I’ll use every secret, non‑cheating scheme possible to prevent the
N‑Team from winning.”
“Fine. We’ll have
that golden triangle before the end of that race. Ganon out.”
“Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa out.”
* * *
Bedlama, Limbo.
At the
Limbo Track, the fifth lap was coming to a close for the two best racers on the
N‑Team: Captain N and
Copper-Kidd. Steelheart was watching in
bleachers above the track, where satellite monitors showed her the entire
track. As Kevin and Kidd rounded the
final curve above Dolare, Kidd accidentally lost control of his Space Racer.
“Uh, oh,”
said Kevin. With a new control panel
that Steelwill had recently installed in the car, Kevin pressed a couple of
buttons. A tractor-beam activated and
saved the Space Racer from tumbling
towards Dolare. Kevin activated his
communicator with the same control panel.
“This is Kevin calling Copper-Kidd.
Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,”
said Kidd. “Thanks, Kevin.”
“You’re
welcome.”
One
kilometer behind them was
“You’re
coming along well, skipper, but I’m beatin’ you,” said
“Well,
Kevin and Copper-Kidd are beating us both,” said Quicksilver.
“One side,”
said Darkwing, blazing into third place in his Rat Catcher motorcycle. The Steeltwins had helped him modify the
vehicle to protect him with an atmospheric force field. “Now I’m along with Kevin and Copper-Kidd in
beating the two of you.”
* * *
The person
in fifty-fourth place was back at the point where the looping track turned back
to Bedlama from its outermost point.
This turn was way out at the Star*Ship Casino. In fifty-fourth and fifty-third places were
Zelda and Link respectively. In
fifty-second place was another egomaniac, Simon Belmont. He was an excellent vampire-hunter, indeed,
but also a slow driver. If he were any
slower, Link and Zelda, of a world still almost devoid of motor vehicles, would
overtake him.
In a tie
for fifty-first and fiftieth were King Spike Koopa’s two youngest, Iggy and
Lemmy (Spike)Koopa.
In forty-ninth was Yoshi. Iggy,
Lemmy, and Yoshi were as far forward as Brim*Star, making it a much closer race
between those in front of them. In
forty-eighth was prosecutor Hamilton Burger.
In a close forty-seventh, forty-sixth, and forty-fifth respectively were
those three great law-enforcers, Sergeant Brice, Lieutenant Anderson, and
Lieutenant Drumm. Paul Drake, that
law-abiding, speed-law-respecting detective, was forty-fourth near them. In forty-third was the ultimate crash-maniac,
Launchpad McQuack.
The more
hectic race was between forty-second and fifteenth places. All of them were currently between Automata
and Dolare, two of the closest planets in the Limbo Solar System. There were, however, many curves in this
area, making the road length much longer here than the actual distance between
the two planets. In forty-second was
SHUSH Agent Grizzlykov, and in forty-first was Director Hooter. Fortieth and thirty-ninth were being shared
by Mrs. Beakley and Mrs. Crackshell.
Paul Drake, Jr., and Ken Malanski shared thirty-eighth and
thirty-seventh. Rupert Jackson was right
in front of them in thirty-sixth. Mario
and Luigi were sharing thirty-fifth and thirty-fourth. Thirty-third, thirty-second, and thirty-first
were heavily contested by Queen Peach, King Spike Koopa, and Princess
Lana. The former Commander of the Silver
Hawks, Stargazer, was doing his gazing in thirtieth. Scrooge McDuck was in twenty-ninth.
Twenty-eighth
to fifteenth were close. Twenty-eighth
was occupied by Morton (Spike)Koopa, Jr. Twenty-seventh to twenty-second fluctuated
between Wendy (Spike)Koopa, Bengali, Pumyra, Condor,
Moonstriker, and
Tragg,
Della, and Mason had fifteenth, fourteenth, and thirteenth, respectively. Twelfth was occupied by Panthro. Cheetara, Tygra, and Lion‑O
respectively had eleventh, tenth, and ninth.
In eighth was Steelwill. In
succession from seventh to first, the occupants respectively were Larry (Spike)Koopa, Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa, Quicksilver,
Drake, Sr.,
called Mason on his communicator. “Well,
Perry,” said Drake, “this shows me how much decency you have for the speed laws.”
Mason
laughed. “Don’t let it bother you,
Paul. This shows me how much decency you have for the speed laws.”
“You are a
pretty good racer,” said Drake.
Next, Tragg
called Samus Aran on his communicator.
“Hey, Samus, I’m beating you.
This serves you right for snapping at me when we first explored around
Brim*Star.”
“You shut
up about that,” Samus retorted. “I was
just giving you a hard time.”
“Fine,
fine,” said Tragg. “See if I voluntarily
work with you again.” He shut off his
communicator. Something inside him just
fired up when he spoke with her, but he did not know just what.
On Bedlama,
Steelheart and the others who were not in the race were watching on the
monitors in Bedlama. “Most of them are
good, aren’t they?” asked Steelheart.
“Yes, I
would say so,” said Wilykit. “That
Ludwig sort of frightened me a little.”
“That
doesn’t surprise me,” said Steelheart. “How exactly?”
“That
cloaking device of his,” said Wilykit.
“Can he really go around the galaxy and fire at anything he chooses
while Metroid is invisible?”
“Unless he
has the same limitations as the Romulans,” said Steelheart. “Kevin believes he does.”
“And who
are these Romulans?” asked Wilykat.
“A certain
humanoid species on the Star Trek series. It’s a television show that ran in the
twentieth century. They also truly
existed in my history, in this section of the galaxy. The Romulans are beyond conceit, with an
enormous belief in their superiority.
They are also creatures of emotional extremes. They can be intensely war-like one moment,
and, the next, they can be tender.
Anyway, their ship-cloaking limitations make them unable to fire weapons
of any kind without first decloaking.”
“What is your
definition of a cloaking device?” asked Wilykit. “Not that we need to know. The Plundarrians had similar technology until
we Thunderians blew those ships away.”
Steelheart
thought for a moment. “The best
definition I could give would be the following:
a device that bends all forms of light and radiation around the planet
or ship,” she said. “There is some minor
disturbance when the cloaking device is activated, such as a blurring of
certain objects the cloaked ship is in front of. That was the disturbance we encountered
before Ludwig fooled us into thinking he was going to decloak the first
time. He has the cloaking device so
perfectly synchronized that everything, even the slightest light photon, will
go around the planet. The larger the
object to cloak, the more complicated the cloaking device must be.” She sighed.
“He must have a good cloaking device if he can totally hide Metroid.”
“Yeah,”
said Wilykit. “Plundarrian cloaking
devices were never that good.”
“What about
that shimmering effect that occurred when Ludwig deactivated the cloaking
device?” asked Wilykat.
“That
occurs when the electromagnetic radiation is allowed back inward. Since the cloaking device doesn’t fully
disengage until after a few seconds, some light is still being bent. When the cloaking device is engaged, the
light is bent again, back around the vessel.
Light is let in, so the same shimmering effect occurs when the vessel is
being cloaked.”
“You should
remember,” said Wilykit. “We were taught
about cloaking devices in science.”
“I forgot,”
Wilykat said. “Or I shoved it into the
back of my mind so far I just thought I forgot about it.”
“That’s all
right. Tygra told me that the reason we
forgot so many of the advanced things we learned was because of the gases used
in suspension. It affected us the most
because of our age. Tygra says that by
the time our next birthday comes around, the effects will have completely worn
off.”
“I hope
so.”
Captain N
established radio contact. “This is
Captain N to Steelheart. Please come
in.”
“This is
Steelheart,” Steelheart said.
“I’m coming
in with Kidd right behind me.”
Steelheart
saw the two on the monitor. “As I can see, Kevin.
Have a nice landing.”
“Will do. Over and out.”
“Over and out, Captain N.”
* * *
Some time later,
everyone had landed. “Well, how was it
to race five laps around the solar system?” asked Steelheart.
“Not bad,
not bad,” said Kevin.
“If you
want my honest opinion, it’s sure a heck of a way to begin driving,” said
Link. “Zelda and I only just started
driving lessons.”
“That’s why
we didn’t want to drive,” said Wilykat.
“We haven’t even started to learn to drive space vehicles yet. Not like we’ve had time to.”
“Well,
Link, at least you didn’t bump into everything like I did,” said Simon. “The only reason I beat you was because you
were going too slowly.”
“Shows me
how much decency you have for the
speed regulations,” said Drake, Sr.
“Don’t talk
to me about speed regulations, Paul,” said Link. “If I had gone any faster, I’d have been
worse off than Simon Belmont. By the way, now that you mention speed, I sort of think that Kevin
floored it from the start.”
“Hey, don’t
get on me,” said Kevin. “At least I was
driving a stickshift.”
“Don’t even
talk to me about driving a darn stickshift,” said Link. “When I began driver’s ed,
I was bumping and clanking because I started off in the blasted fourth
gear. And, in the beginning, whenever I
shifted gears, the darn gears ground.”
“Just stick
it in first, put in the accelerator slowly but firmly, and release the clutch
slowly,” said Kevin. “When you shift,
release the accelerator, push the clutch immediately to the floor, shift all of
the way into the next gear quickly, and let out the clutch while putting in the
accelerator again. I’ll be happy to help
you, Link.”
“I think
you handle the accelerator and clutch in a stickshift better than anyone else,
Kevin,” said Mason. “It’s kind of tough
to transpose your technique to the automatic transmission.”
“For the
way I drive a stickshift,” said Kevin, “I think that an automatic just will not
work. You have to have a manual, because
being able to know which gear you’re driving in and using the clutch to coast
through certain areas is necessary for the way I do it. Did anyone here use a manual?”
“None of
the Silver Hawks’ vehicles have manual transmissions,” said Steelheart.
“Neither do
any of ours,” said Lion‑O.
“I see,”
said Kevin. “And, Kidd, remember where I
saved you back there?”
“Yes,”
replied Kidd.
“I was
going just as fast as you were. The
moment before I even got into that curve, I downshifted to gain better control
at the same speed. Since you did not
have that option, you would have had to go a little more slowly than you were
going to go around that curve. That was
my advantage, and that’s what makes a manual a better racing vehicle than an
automatic.”
“Yes, I can
see how you won, Kevin,” said Steelheart.
“Don’t get
me wrong, you have to know how to operate the kind of vehicle you’re
using. Whether you use an automatic or a
manual, you have to anticipate what’s going to happen. A manual does make it easier to control the
vehicle, but the automatic makes one thing easy, and that is accelerating. I’m not trying to say that manuals are
‘better’ than automatics, but if you know how to drive them, they sure can make
it a heck of a lot easier when you’re faced with a situation where you need to
cut the engine power to get around a sharp curve. I didn’t win by keeping the accelerator on
the floor, and I wouldn’t try to do so.
If I did that, my vehicle wouldn’t look as good as it does. I don’t think there’s any substitution for
what the clutch does for you. The brake
simply doesn’t do the same thing. Your
clutch prevents the engine from moving the car, whereas the brake just slows
the car down or keeps it stopped. You
can’t get the kind of performance a clutch gives you if you drive an automatic,
because the clutch does not exist. If
you race well with a clutch, that’s fine.
If you race well in an automatic, I’d see no need to make a transition
to the manual. I guess that the point
I’m trying to get across is to drive as well as you can while maintaining the
best possible speed. Link didn’t do as
well as I did, but at least he didn’t run into everything. Simon didn’t do well for the reason that he
was trying to keep the accelerator to the floor when he couldn’t make an
adjustment as quickly as one of the better racers—say, Lt. Tragg—could. I make my adjustments with my brain, the
clutch pedal, the accelerator, the steering wheel, the gearshift, my feet, and
my hands.”
“The funny
thing is,” said Quicksilver, “that most of the rest of us have been driving for
a longer time than you have. I think I
expected to do better than you did.”
“I adapt to
things very quickly,” said Kevin. “Well, enough of that.
Where should we go now?”
“Well,
let’s go to Hawkhaven,” said Steelheart.
“We ought to let the Brain-Team do their racer evaluation.”
“Why should
we let them?” asked Darkwing. “They
captured us and were going to fry us.
And they tried to make us attack them by playing with their blasted
cloaking device.”
“I don’t
normally make snap judgments, Darkwing.
I believe in giving everyone a chance, even that vegetable of
theirs. And I’ve had just about enough
of your feathery nonsense, Wingie.”
“All right,
all right, I’ll cut back,” said Darkwing.
“Fortunately, I know the perfect way to return us and all of our
vehicles to our proper places.” He
spread out his cape, and everyone and all of the vehicles disappeared in a
mountain of smoke.
* * *
Meeting Hall, Cat’s Lair, third‑Earth.
Everyone
reappeared in the Meeting Hall of Cat’s Lair.
However, all the vehicles had been accurately transported to the hangar
of Hawkhaven. “Uh, whoops! Wrong location,” said Darkwing.
“All the better,” said Steelheart. “There’s more room in here than in Hawkhaven,
anyway. Now, let’s call the Brain-Team.”
Lion‑O
activated a device that activated the visual and audio communicator. “Ready, Steelheart.”
“This is
the N‑Team calling the Brain-Team.
Please respond.”
Liquidator,
in a good mood, appeared on the screen. “Ah, good day! How
may we help you?”
“My, but
you seem to be in a really good mood today,” said Steelheart.
“Nothing
wrong with that, I’m sure,” said Liquidator.
“What is the subject of the communication?”
“We called
to tell you that our racer evaluations are finished,” said Steelheart.
“Ah! And might I inquire as to the results?”
“I’ll tell
either Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa or his first officer.”
“You are
talking to the latter. That’s why I’m in
a good mood, you see.”
“You?”
cried Darkwing incredulously. “Why would
Ludwig make you his first officer? We chose our main leader, Steelheart, from
a vote of all of the division leaders. How did you become second to a leader when you are not a leader
yourself, huh, Waterhead?”
“Wingie,”
Steelheart said in a warning tone.
Some of
Liquidator’s good humor had dissipated.
“Our election was arranged so that even that stupid Eggplant Wizard
could have become the second-in-command if the greatest percentage went to him. Luckily, we did not demonstrate the utter
lack of wisdom required to vote him into the position. No, most of us voted for me, then the
second-highest number for Mon*Star, and the third-highest number for King
Bowser Koopa. You should have heard Negaduck. What that guy said went way beyond any
possible derivatives of damn and hell.
Mega Volt had some choice words, too.”
“That
Negaduck always did have a desire to be Public Enemy #1,” said Darkwing.
“He
mentioned that, as well.”
“Anyway, we
have decided that fifteen from our group are participating in your proposed
race,” said Steelheart. “All fifty-four
racers crossed the finish line, in sequence from first to last—uh, need a pause
to grab a notepad and pen or pencil?”
“Not at all.” Liquidator
formed his right hand into a pen and his left hand into a notepad. “Ready.”
“I wish I
could come up with a pen and notepad that quickly. Anyway, in order from first to last, the
fifty-four racers from our group were:
Captain N; Copper-Kidd; Darkwing Duck; Bluegrass; Quicksilver; Ludwig
von(Spike)Koopa; Larry (Spike)Koopa; Steelwill; Lion‑O; Tygra; Cheetara;
Panthro; Perry Mason; Della Street; Lieutenant Tragg; Hotwing; Flashback; Chief
Samus Aran; Kid Icarus; MegaMan; Dr. Wright; Roy (Spike)Koopa; Moonstriker;
Condor; Pumyra; Bengali; Wendy (Spike)Koopa; Morton (Spike)Koopa, Jr.; Scrooge
McDuck; Stargazer; Princess Lana; King Spike Koopa; Queen Peach; Mario; Luigi;
Jackson; Paul Drake, Jr.; Ken Malanski; Mrs. Crackshell; Mrs. Beakley; Director
J. Gander Hooter; Agent Grizzlykov; Launchpad McQuack; Paul Drake, Sr.;
Lieutenant Drumm; Lieutenant Anderson; Sergeant Brice; Hamilton Burger; Yoshi;
Lemmy (Spike)Koopa; Iggy (Spike)Koopa; Simon Belmont; Link; and Princess
Zelda. The ones racing in the challenge
are the first fifteen racers whom I mentioned, who are Captain N, Copper-Kidd,
Darkwing Duck, Bluegrass, Quicksilver, Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa, Larry
(Spike)Koopa, Steelwill, Lion‑O, Tygra, Cheetara, Panthro, Perry Mason,
Della Street, and Lieutenant Tragg. Got
that?”
“Got it,”
said Liquidator. “Thank you very much,
Steelheart. My group will get to work
within the half-hour. Tah‑tah!” The screen flipped off.
“Why, that
scheming trickster,” said Darkwing. “One
knows that he’s up to something when he acts so jovial.”
“Well, we
can only play along until he reveals his plot in some way,” said Steelheart.
“You’re
right, but the idea of trusting a villain makes me uneasy.”
“We’ll play
this through until we’re sure it’s a trap,” said Kevin.
“I only hope
that if we get the bait in their possible trap, we pull our heads out soon
enough to keep the metal bar from springing and putting us out for good.”
* * *
Control Room, Tourian, Metroid.
On the
wicked planet Metroid, Ludwig was conferring with his first officer, the
Liquidator. “So, they said that they
were through with their testing?” asked Ludwig.
“Yes,” said
Liquidator.
“And who
are the ones racing in our challenge?”
“They are
Captain N, Copper-Kidd, Darkwing Duck,
“Interesting. Apparently,
Tragg does not have much regard for the speed laws. Well, it seems that the extremely idiotic
“Hee, hee,
hee, boy, has he ever. There were
fifty-four in the N‑Team’s race, and that egotistical idiot crossed the
finish line in fifty-second place.”
“Who could
possibly do worse than he did?”
“Link and Zelda.”
“Oh,
yes. They’re Hyrulians, and there are
very few cars on Hyrule yet. Well,
Liquie, let’s get over there to Bedlama and do our evaluations.”
“Yes, let’s.”
“So, what
are we waiting for?” asked MotherBrain.
Liquidator
went to the navigation console. There,
he cloaked Metroid and got it into warp towards the Limbo system. “We are waiting for nothing, you very
beautiful brain.”
“Well! Another person who recognizes my beauty! Thank you very much, Liquidator.”
“You’re
quite welcome,” said Liquidator.
“Now,
Liquidator, do you speak German or Italian?” Ludwig asked in Spanish.
“Yes, I
speak German,” answered Liquidator in Spanish, “but, alas, I do not speak
Italian.”
“Oh, yes, I
remember,” said Ludwig in Spanish.
“Will you
please speak in English?” asked Eggplant Wizard in English. “I can’t tell whether you’re talking about
King Hippo or me.”
“Probably
you,” said King Hippo.
“Probably you!”
Mega Volt
came in. “You idiots!” he cried,
sparking. “They were talking about
neither of you. Ludwig was asking about
the languages Liquidator can speak.”
Mega Volt illuminated the two idiots with electricity.
“That was a
little out of the question, but very amusing,” said Ludwig in English.
“Très amusant,” said Liquidator. “Très amusant!”
“What are you
calling us now?” demanded Eggplant Wizard in English. Suddenly, a red star encased him in a
flash. “Yaah! And what was that?”
“That was
I, you imbecile!” said Mon*Star, coming into the room in his pre-transformation
state. “And he didn’t call you anything.”
“In French,
Liquidator said that what I did was very, very amusing,” Mega Volt said. “And he was right, of course.”
“Well,
let’s get ready for that evaluation,” said MotherBrain.
“We have so
far established the following subdivisions in our team,” said Ludwig: “the Mob subdivision; the Plundarrians
subdivision; the Brain-Team subdivision; the Fearsome Ten subdivision; and the
Secret subdivision. The leaders of each
subdivision are the following, respectively:
Mon*Star; Mumm‑ra; MotherBrain; Negaduck; and Don Karnage. The top three leaders of the Brain-Team, in
order of rank, are I; Liquidator; Mon*Star; and my father, King Bowser
Koopa. Now—”
“Do you not
know that the first person personal pronoun comes last in a sequence?”
interrupted Eggplant Wizard.
“I know all
the grammar rules of standard English, but I was
talking about rank,” said Ludwig. “In
other words, I come first in the chain of command, then comes Liquidator, then
Mon*Star, and, finally, my dear father.
As I was trying to say before your interruption, which bordered on
insolent, all of the Brain-Team members are the following: Mob:
(1)Mon*Star, (2)Yes‑Man, (3)Hardware, (4)Melodia, (5)Windhammer,
(6)Timestopper, (7)Pokerface, (8)Zero, (9)Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar,
(10)Mumbo-Jumbo, (11)Buzz‑Saw, and (12)A‑Tom‑U‑Lar;
Plundarrians: (13)Mumm‑ra,
(14)Luna, (15)S‑s‑slithe, (16)Amok, (17)Tug‑Mug, (18)Chilla,
(19)Aluro, (20)Red‑eye, (21)Monkian, (22)Jackalman, and (23)Vultureman;
Brain-Team: (24)King Bowser Koopa,
(25)Queen MotherBrain, (26)myself, Prince/Baron and soon-to-be Emperor Ludwig
von(Bowser)Koopa, (27)Prince Larry (Bowser)Koopa, (28)Prince Roy (Bowser)Koopa,
(29)Princess Wendy O. (Bowser)Koopa, (30)Prince Morton (Bowser)Koopa, Jr.,
(31)Prince Lemmy (Bowser)Koopa, (32)Prince Iggy (Bowser)Koopa, (33)Eggplant
Wizard, (34)King Hippo, (35)Dr. J. Wily, (36)ProtoMan, (37)Ridley, (38)Try‑Clyde,
(39)Koopa-Troopa, and (40)Mouser; Fearsome Ten:
(41)Negaduck, (42)Mega Volt, (43)Liquidator, (44)Dr. Bushroot,
(45)Quacker Jack, (46)Steelbeak, (47)Ammonia Pine, (48)Professor Moliarity,
(49)Tuskerninni, and (50)Professor Nimnul; and Secret: (51)Captain Don Karnage, (52)Mad Dog,
(53)Dump Truck, (54)Flintheart Glomgold, Scrooge McDuck’s worst enemy, (55)Ma
Beagle, (56)Big Time Beagle, (57)Burger Beagle, and (58)Bouncer Beagle. My dear Liquidator, have you not convinced
that Magica DeSpell to join F.O.W.L. yet?”
“That witch
won’t listen to me,” said Liquidator.
“She must be off in a time warp.”
“I have an
idea,” said Mega Volt, his electric plugs shining. “Why not have Negaduck charm her?”
“Good
idea,” said Liquidator.
“I agree,”
said Ludwig. Ludwig pressed a
button. “Negaduck, please come up here
to the control room.”
Within
minutes, Negaduck was in Ludwig’s presence.
“What kind of vicious crime do you want me to pull off, my villainous
leader?” he asked with a villainous smile.
“Well, we
have had trouble getting a certain witch to join our group,” said Ludwig.
“Well, I
don’t really think I can get Morganna McCawber to join F.O.W.L.,” said
Negaduck. “She’s too wrapped up with
Darkwing. And, may I say, she’s too
ditzy for our purposes.”
“Not
her. I agree with your assessment of
her. No, I want you to charm Magica
DeSpell into joining F.O.W.L.”
“Well,
well, well! No one has ever romantically
seduced someone into joining F.O.W.L., but I guess that there’s a first time
for everything. Ha,
ha!”
“Be careful
around that blasted witch,” said Mega Volt.
“She really sent my sparks afire once when I tried to get her to join
up.”
“What about
my racing evaluation?” asked Negaduck.
“Get that witch after we do the evaluations,” said Ludwig.
“Yes, my
treacherous emperor of evil,” said Negaduck.
“Your wish is my command.”
“Good,”
said Ludwig. “Now, let’s find out who of
our members is incapable to be in this race.”
Ludwig got a sheet of paper and a pencil and started writing
something. “Let’s see. There am I, because I am the main leader, and
the main leader is not allowed to be in the race. I hope that Steelheart kept her part of the
bargain by staying out of her group’s evaluations. Anyway, we shall not break our part of the
bargain, even if the N‑Team broke theirs—which I doubt.” He wrote his name on the sheet of paper. “Now, MotherBrain, call the following in here
for a small conference: Mumm‑ra;
Don Karnage; and my father, King Bowser Koopa.”
MotherBrain
obeyed. In a few minutes, the mentioned
three were in the Control Room of Metroid.
“Okay, my
evil friends, I need to know something,” said Ludwig. “Who among your evil groups is unqualified to
participate in this race?”
“No one in
my group,” said Mon*Star.
Mumm‑ra
had come transformed. “Well, maybe that
blasted—” he began. He was interrupted
when Luna came into the room on Amok’s back.
“Disqualify
me because I’m short, and you will no longer have any of those slimy bandages
holding you together,” said Luna. “I
have a zippy little vehicle suited to my beautifully short stature.”
“Very well. I shall not
have you disqualified, my evil little witch.”
“Ah! You’re so kind to me, venturing upon such
accurately disgusting remarks,” said Luna in delight with not even the
slightest trace of sarcasm.
“No one in
my group would be disqualified, Ludwig,” said Mumm‑ra.
“Well, my
treacherous stepson, I know a certain vegetable and boxer who might be disqualified—unless
they can get their act together and stop fighting all of the time,” said
MotherBrain. “Know you of anyone who
might be disqualified from our group, my slimy, evil, nasty, repulsive
husband?”
“Such
flattery,” said Bowser, truly flattered.
“Well, my dear, detestable brain, I know of no one else, unless a
certain stupid three-headed serpent can’t control his darn fire and a certain
rodent can’t control his blasted bombs.”
“Okay,”
said Ludwig. “And your
group, Negaduck and Liquidator?”
“No one
should be disqualified,” said Negaduck.
“I agree,”
said Liquidator.
“Unless
those two idiots of mine are more stupid than my illustrious self thinks,” said
Don Karnage, “I am sure that no one on my portion of the team will be
disqualified.”
“That is good,”
said Ludwig. “I am the only one
disqualified. All right, my wicked
compatriots. Get yourselves and your amigos ready for racing. I want a good showing out there on that
Bedlama racetrack today. And, most of
all, I do not want anyone to goof up. That includes you two, Eggplant and
Hippo. I want just a good, clean
race. Anyone who messes up or cheats
will be cleaning this entire planet with only their tongues. Got that?
Do not go so fast that you will be bumping into everything. A smarter racer is preferable to a racer who
keeps his foot on the accelerator all of the time. Okay, guys, you have what I want you to
do. Now, get out there, and do it. No one’s going to kill you if you do not
win. Someone will kill you, though, if you goof off, or at least give you a hard
time. Liquidator, as
soon as you’re ready, supervise everyone else. Same for you, Mon*Star and
Dad.”
“What will
you do, my treacherous son?” asked King Bowser.
“I? I’ve got some paperwork to handle with
MotherBrain. Perhaps I’ll also telephone
the N‑Team and annoy their socks off.
In the meantime, prepare for the race, please.”
“You have
it,” said Bowser. Everyone but Ludwig
and MotherBrain left the room.
“Now, I
believe that I shall call the N‑Team,” said Ludwig. He and MotherBrain shared an evil smile. He went over to his computer.
* * *
Lieutenant
Steelwill was in an unusually bad mood at the moment, and he could not
understand it. He was thinking of asking
for some time off from his normal duties when Ludwig’s voice came from his
console, the communications console.
“This is Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa to
Hawkhaven. Respond, please.”
What does he want? Steelwill asked
himself. He turned on the visual
communicator. “What the devil do you want, von(Bowser)Koopa?”
“Well,”
said Ludwig. “Aren’t we in a bad mood
this day, Lieutenant.”
“It’s none
of your business.”
“I’m an
understanding villain, Steelwill,” said Ludwig kindly. “What’s wrong?”
“I told
you, it’s none of your damn business.”
“Well, then,
I ought to call up your mother and tell her that you’ve been using foul
language, Lieutenant Steelwill.”
“Why would
you do a thing like that?”
“It is my
honest opinion that since your sister does not like such language, the art of
detesting it was rubbed off on her by her mother. Now, it follows that if your mother does not
like it—”
“Get to the
point!”
“I was just
getting to that. Anyway, if your mother
does not like such language, she is liable to call your sister. If your sister obtains that information,
she’s likely to—”
“Enough already! I know what
Steelheart would do.”
“So, you
ought not to be using such language, eh?”
“I guess
not, but I can’t help it.”
“Why not
tell me your problem?”
“Because you’re no psychologist or psychiatrist.”
“Very well. Then I advise
you to consult one.”
“There’s no
one I know who is a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist.”
“Well,
according to my records, there is. At
least, there is one in training.”
“Oh, yeah? Who?”
“You know
this lady. She’s among the people you
met right before the Mob and the Mutants dreamed the idea of that universal
time-bomb in Automata.”
“You must
be nuts. Give me a break.”
Ludwig
continued as if Steelwill had not interrupted.
“To be more specific, this lady is telepathic.”
“Do you
mean Cheetara? You’re out of your mind.”
“Well, why
don’t you ask her?”
“I
will. Who did you desire to torture,
other than me?”
“I wish to
confer with Steelheart, your very beautiful, very nice, and very intelligent
sister.”
“What
the—no way!”
“Well,
Steelwill, I may call her up personally and tell her that I wanted to speak
with her, but that I couldn’t because of her brother cussing me out and cutting
off my communication. She may have wished to speak with me. She can’t contact me while Metroid is
cloaked. Then, what she’ll do to you—I
can’t imagine.”
“All right, all right.
I’ll tell her. Just keep your
pants on. My, but you’re persistent.”
“Thank
you. Go get her, please. Besides, know that I need no pants, since my
private parts are well concealed within my shell.”
“All right,
darn you, I’m going.” Steelwill got up.
“Oh, and try being polite.
Ladies are suckers for politeness.”
“Shut up,”
said Steelwill, leaving his console to Steelheart’s office. When he got there, he knocked.
“Who’s there?”
asked Steelheart.
“It’s
Steelwill.”
“Come in,”
said Steelheart. Steelwill came in. “Ah, Will.
Have a seat, if you do not mind.”
Steelwill went over to the chair in front of Steelheart. “What is it, my brother?”
“Someone
wants to speak with you.”
“Who?” said
Steelheart.
“Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa.”
“Okay, I’m
coming. Keep an eye on the office,
Stargazer.”
“Yes,
ma’am,” said Stargazer. Steelheart and
Will left the office to Steelwill’s console.
“Ah, I’m glad
that you were convinced to bring your good sister all the way out here from her
comfy office to your dull
“Yeah,
right,” said Steelwill.
“You may
go, Steelwill,” said Ludwig. “No one’s
forcing you to stay.”
“Have I
your permission to make like a tree and leave, Steelheart?”
“Just don’t
get into trouble, brother,” joked Steelheart.
Steelwill
sighed. “Thanks.” He entered the elevator. He did not need that remark, even though it
was a joke. He knew something was wrong
because just about everything was annoying him.
He went all the way down to the hangar and entered the warp zone to
Cat’s Lair’s hangar, where Lion‑O was conversing with Kevin.
“So, that’s
been your basic trouble all along?” asked Lion‑O.
“Yes,” said
Kevin. “I cannot seem to stop that mad
brain or that crazy brat only half a year older than I am.”
“Better not
mention that around him, Kevin,” said Steelwill. “He might get mad.”
“He’s
already mad,” said Kevin, as though Steelwill had been there all along. “As in loony, anyway. By the way, you’d better not call him mad
while he’s around. He hates being
described with that word. ‘Loony’ he’ll
take, and ‘crazy,’ but not ‘mad.’ ”
“What’s up,
Steelwill?” asked Lion‑O. “Looking
for someone?”
“Yes, as a
matter of fact,” said Steelwill. “I’m
looking for Cheetara. May I inquire as
to where she is?”
“She’s
probably at the
“You’ll
probably find her on the seventh class floor there,” said Kevin. “The rooms on the class floors are private
rooms for study. Look for room 710.”
“Thank
you,” said Steelwill. He left through a
warp zone to the
“Come,”
said Cheetara. Steelwill entered. She was studying from a portable terminal, a
device similar to a laptop computer but connected by wireless signals to the
large server network in the Palace.
After she looked up and saw Steelwill, she switched off the computer. “Well, hello, Steelwill. Have a seat.
What can I do for you?”
Steelwill
pulled up a chair and sat down across from Cheetara. “Well, Cheetara, that Ludwig called me and
said that a certain person I had met prior to the Mob’s and Plundarrians’
setting a bomb in Automata was studying psychology to become a psychologist.”
“That’s
right. She is doing it upon her good
leader’s request, nonetheless. Also of
her own volition; she is happy to be doing it.
Well, if you thought that Ludwig was talking about me, you have guessed
correctly. In fact, I have recently
discovered that I am slightly telepathic, along with my other extra-sensory
perception powers.”
“I’m glad
to hear that. I was wondering if you
would be willing to help me with a problem I’ve been having.”
“Well, I
need a successful counseling session with one person to get my license to
practice psychology. I was getting ready
to head over to the office of someone belonging to the licensing agency and
inquire right now.”
“Who will
be your examining officer?” Steelwill asked.
“I know one
person who it might be: Paul Drake, Sr.”
“That guy’s
a detective, a driver’s license officer, and
a psychology examiner? Oh, boy does he
have all of his hands full.”
“Yes. As far as psychology goes, though, he just
administers the exam.” Cheetara checked
her watch. “In fact, if we hurry, we
just might catch him. Come with me.”
She took
his arm and all but flew out of the room.
“Yah!”
They cleared the door safely.
Cheetara ran, still with a death-grip on Steelwill’s arm, to the
elevator and set it for the floor with Drake’s office and Mason’s. “What was the idea? Were you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Sorry,”
said Cheetara. “I just want to make sure
we get there before he leaves.”
“How about
we maybe try to go a little slower when we get out, please?”
“Yes, Steelwill. I’ll try.”
“Thanks,”
said Steelwill. They got out when the
elevator stopped and walked to the door to the office of Paul Drake and Paul
Drake. Cheetara opened the door and
walked up to the reception desk. No one
was in the reception room except the Drakes’ receptionist behind the desk.
“Ma’am, I
am Cheetara. Would you mind asking Mr.
Paul Drake, Sr., if I could see him? I
came with Lt. Steelwill.”
“Yes,
ma’am,” said the receptionist. “Please
have a seat for the moment.”
In Drake’s
office, Drake and Mason were talking about a previous case in which they helped
Hamilton Burger convict the defendant, who just happened to be guilty. Mason had not been the defense attorney in
that case. “Well, Burger sure was happy
when we handed over that convincingly convicting evidence,” said Mason.
“I’ll say,”
said Drake. “It was almost enough for me
to break even with that Tragg. It was
ten times enough for me to break even with both Anderson and Drumm.” The phone on his desk rang. Paul answered it. “Yes? . . . Okay, send them on
in.” Drake hung up.
“Who?”
asked Mason.
“Cheetara and Steelwill.”
“Well,
well. A speedy cat and
a strong bird. Lovely
couple. One would probably eat
the other.”
“I don’t
think they’re here about marriage licenses or anything, Perry,” said Drake.
“I know.”
Cheetara
and Steelwill came in. “Welcome,
Cheetara and Steelwill.”
“Thank you,
Mr. Drake,” said Cheetara.
Drake
pointed to a sign on his wall, which was an official VideoLand speed limit sign
bearing the number 20. “You may notice,
Cheetara, that I generally do not like anyone moving over twenty kilometers per
hour in here.”
Cheetara
glanced at the sign and smiled. “Your
sign appears readily enough, Mr. Drake.”
Mason got
up out of the chair in which he was sitting.
“Here, Cheetara,” he said. “Have
a seat.”
Cheetara
sat in the chair. “Thank you, Mr.
Mason,” Cheetara said.
“What can I
do for you, Cheetara?” asked Drake.
“When I was
around Kevin’s age,”—she smiled—“about a couple of months ago,”—the others
smiled for a moment—“I finished extensive coursework in psychology and
psychiatry on Old Thundera before its destruction. I acquired my license to practice
psychology. Recently, in one of the
study chambers, I took a few refreshers on one of the computers in one of the
study rooms.”
“So, you
want a VideoLand license to practice psychology, I bet?”
“Right.”
“Very well. Find someone
with a problem that you believe you can handle and help that person deal with
it. Then, when they’re satisfied, I’ll
give you a license.” Drake activated a
laptop computer on his desk and checked his records. “Here you are. Since the Psychology and Psychiatry I through
IV refreshers are among your credits, and those are harder than the real
courses, according to most students, I can let you undergo the practice
session.” He removed from his desk a
piece of paper and handed it to Cheetara.
“Fill this out so I can let you do your practice session.” Cheetara filled out the sheet of paper and
handed it back to Paul Drake. “Thank
you. Now, if you can’t find someone,
I’ll program something into one of these laptops for you to use in doing the
practice session.”
“That’s
okay,” said Cheetara. “I already have a
request.”
Without
warning, a soppy villain, the Liquidator, came out of the water fountain. “Well, well, well. I see that you want to become a shrink,
Cheetara. You’re going to have to work
awfully hard. I hope you don’t cheat on
this test.” He bellowed with laughter.
“I would
never cheat on anything, Liquidator,” said Cheetara, aghast.
“Aw, c’mon. I was only
joking.”
“It is not
something you joke about with a Thunderian.”
“What are
you doing here, Waterhead?” asked Steelwill.
“I was just
paying a little visit, Lieutenant Steelwill,” said Liquidator. “I see that you are not in the best of moods
today. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Too bad. Oh!
And by the way, don’t call me ‘Waterhead.’ I absolutely despise it.”
“I don’t
care if you love it, you bloody drip.
What about the Brain-Team’s side of the race?”
“Oh,
Metroid will be at Bedlama shortly,” said Liquidator.
“How did
you get here?” asked Cheetara.
“Well, my
dear Thunder Kitten, I merely switched my control from my main body, which is
on Metroid, to water in Paul Drake’s water fountain. As you can see, I’m right here, as real as a
rock.” Liquidator turned towards
Drake. “Well, Drake, if Mason won in the
top fifteen, why didn’t you?”
“Because at
least I have some decent regard for the local speed laws,” said Drake. “Moreover, I’ve been in too many high-speed
chases on the highways of
“How did
Kevin win?” asked Liquidator.
“He won
through proper control of the clutch in a vehicle with a manual transmission,”
said Mason.
“Since when
is it any of your business, Liquie?” asked Drake. “Please get out of here before I call
security.”
“Whatever
you say, you quack,” said Liquidator.
“Get it? Quack? Your last name?”
“I get it,”
said Drake. He picked up his phone. “Hello, security? This is Paul Drake, Sr. There’s an unwelcome blob of water in
here. I would like him drained out of
here immediately.” As soon as he cut the
transmission, Captain N, Kid Icarus, and MegaMan warped into the room. “Wow.
Talk about good service.”
“All right,
Liquidator,” said Captain N. “It’s time
for you to go to the cooler.” Kevin shot
Liquidator with an Ice Ray from his Zapper.
“I was
getting tired of this joint, anyway,” said Liquidator stiffly. “It’s time I got back to Metroid.”
“Too bad
you can’t do that, Liquidator,” said MegaMan.
“You’re too mega-frozen to flow out of here.”
“Indeed? Then watch me, titanium-man.” The personality disappeared from the frozen
block of ice. Liquidator had escaped to
warmer turf on Metroid.
“That
Liquidator is slipp‑ricus maximus,” said Kid Icarus.
“Yeah,”
said MegaMan. “That nut has a watery
screw mega-loose.” The private phone on
Drake’s desk rang. “Uh,
oh. What is that?”
“Don’t
worry,” said Drake. “That’s my private
phone. Only two people know its
number: Perry Mason and
“Okay,
thank you,” said Mason. He took the
receiver from Drake and pressed the mute button. “Hi, Della. What’s burning? . . . I see. I’ll be back right away. Goodbye.”
Mason handed the receiver back to Drake, who put it back on the
hook. “I have to go back to my office,
Paul. See you later.”
“Goodbye,
Perry,” said Drake. Mason left. “Well, Cheetara, I suggest you get
going. That temporary permit won’t last
long.”
“What kind
of permit?” asked Kevin.
“A permit
to practice psychology for a short period of time as a test,” Drake said. “She has to help one person resolve or get on
the road to resolving his or her psychological problem by the first day of
1993.”
“Well,”
said Captain N, “it is now the 19th of December 1992.”
“Right,”
said Cheetara. “If you’ll excuse me, I
have to get to work. I’ll see all of you
later.” She left. She then reopened the door and looked
in. “Care to come along, Steelwill?”
“You don’t
have to advertise it, you know,” said Steelwill. He left with Cheetara.
“I think
that he wouldn’t be with her at the moment unless he had a problem requiring a
psychologist,” Drake said.
“Right,”
said Kevin. “I wouldn’t think that a cat
and a bird would hit it off too well.
Not that he’s a real bird, of course.”
He suddenly thought about his crazy feelings for Wilykit—a cat and a
human. Of course, she was more like a
human than like a cat. What was he
thinking? Maybe he ought to talk
with Cheetara. But then, it might get
back to Lana—
“Now, no more
gossiping, at least not in my office,” said Drake. “If you want to gossip, go
see Perry. He and Della are
always talking about Tragg, Burger, Malanski, my son, me, and everyone
else. Except,
fortunately, his clients.”
“You have
it,” said Kevin. “Steelheart’s having a
meeting in her office with that diabolical fiend, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa
himself. I think I ought to be there, in
order to keep things in order.”
“Okay,”
said Drake. “Bring me back a burger when
you’re through!”
“Enough of
the puns,” said Kevin with a grin. “Especially the bad ones.”
“I’ll see
as to the safety of Cheetara as she does her psychological test, Captain N,”
said MegaMan.
“And I’ll
make sure that no villain disturbs Perry Mason‑icus without me alerting
Mason as to the person’s presence. If
Lieutenant Tragg approaches Mason’s office‑icus, I’ll make Mason’s phone
ring like craz‑icus.”
“Okay‑icus—I
mean okay!” said Kevin with a
laugh. He had been around Kid Icarus too
long. “Pardon me. Well, my friends, let’s get to it.” The three left.