33--The Ultimate Encounter, Ch.5

December 17.

Court of Limbo, Asteroid X150, between Automata and the Penal Planet.

ear the rear of the courtroom, the Thunder Kittens were telling the older Thunder Cats what had happened in Chambers. “And then, this Rick Spelling subtly made Kevin lose his temper,” said Wilykit. “Just when Kevin was about to say a questionable word, Mason slapped his hand across Kevin’s mouth to shut him up.”

“Then, Condor pointed out a picture of Mr. Spelling that he was studying,” Wilykat said. “He pointed out that a freckle was reversed.”

“Reversed?” cried Lion‑O. “Who could it be?”

“Don’t you know?” asked Wilykat. “We were here when the Silver Hawks first encountered him.”

“Holy Jaga. A‑Tom‑U‑Lar! Shouldn’t you two get out of here?”

“Oh, really.”

Captain N took the judge’s bench after the court reconvened. Many spectators were surprised at the change of judge. “I regret that Judge Lana has just received a serious shock,” he announced. “Since she is presently unable to preside over this preliminary hearing, I shall serve in her place. The case left off as Burger asked Condor of the Silver Hawks what he wished to tell the court, and Condor answered that this defense attorney was not who he claimed to be. Now, I would like Condor to return to the stand and finish what he was going to tell us.”

“Condor of the Silver Hawks will return to the stand,” Simon said.

Condor returned to the stand. “I hope that I need not remind you, sir, that you are still under oath,” Kevin said.

Condor nodded and sat on the chair in the witness stand. “So do I. Now then, according to His Honor, I just testified that the person sitting over there next to Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar is not the actual defense attorney assigned to the case. I know the real Rick Spelling. He cross-examines—and cross-examines well—every single witness for the opposing side unless he has good reason not to. I know this, as I’ve attended many of the cases he’s defended before. In fact, back when I was a private eye, I worked for him on three cases. Now, then, if he does not cross-examine the prosecution’s witnesses properly, that must not be the right man. No other lawyer cross-examines the same way he does, not even the great Perry Mason.

“That brought me to the picture I had in my pocket in my set of lawyer photographs, which I keep so I can identify attorneys whose names I don’t recall immediately. This is the picture of him.” Condor showed the picture to Mason and Burger, who came up. “This pale freckle is clearly reversed. In my professional opinion as a police detective, someone must be substituting as him.”

Spelling leapt to his feet. “I object! How is that possible, Your Honor? Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar is the only being in the galaxy who can transform his molecules to some other substance.”

“Your objection is overruled,” said Kevin. “Do not forget all the years this gentleman has been a police officer and detective. This court recognizes his experience. Please continue, Condor.”

“As I have just said, someone is in here and is substituting for Rick Spelling,” Condor said. “Since Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar is in this court, not even I understand who could be using this guy’s body. However, logic dictates that someone must be.”

“I do not understand why you do not sustain my objections,” said Spelling. “This police officer is speculating.”

“Is that all you have to say?” asked Condor. “The Thunder Kittens have nearly photographic memories. As we humans commonly say about elephants, the two youngest Thunder Cats forget very little. Let’s ask them.”

“Oh, Your Honor! Now he would have us parade minors in front of the court.”

“Your Honor, they are not minors, by our definition. They’re actually older than Your Honor. Their bodies naturally mature more slowly than humans’.”

“May I be permitted to call Wilykit to the stand, then?” asked Mason.

“Very well, Mr. Mason,” Kevin said. “Condor, you are excused. Will Wilykit of the Thunder Cats please come forward and be sworn.” Condor left the stand.

Wilykit approached the stand. “Please raise your right hand,” Simon said. Wilykit did so. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

“I do,” said Wilykit.

“Please state your full name and occupation.”

“I am Kit Astutus {ah-stú-tuhs} vân Wily. Occupation: Thunder Cat.”

“You may be seated.” Wilykit sat on the witness stand.

“Now, how does one address you?” asked Mason. “You were called as Wilykit, but you introduced yourself as Kit Astutus vân Wily.”

“I introduced myself formally according to Thunderian custom,” said Wilykit. “In formal address, the given name comes before the maternal grandfather’s family name, then the word vân, and finally the paternal grandfather’s family name. Thus, Kit Astutus vân Wily. In common address, the paternal grandfather’s family name is connected to the given name, sometimes followed by the maternal grandfather’s family name. Normally, one is addressed by common address without the mother’s grandfather’s last name. Often, they are contracted together into a more compact name. Thus, you can address me as Wilykit. And one other thing: omitting the given name is unacceptable to us. It’s perfectly acceptable for someone to call you Mr. Mason, but calling me Miss Wily—instead of Miss Wilykit—would be considered insulting. It’s one of the most sensitive aspects of our culture.”

“Very well. Now, can you help us clarify this mess?”

“Yes, I can, and gladly. While you, the other two attorneys, His Honor, and Condor were conversing in chambers, my twin brother, Wilykat, and I peeked at the picture of Mr. Spelling. We know who this person is.”

“Who is it?”

“Your Honor, please,” said Spelling. “She’s making this up.”

“Overruled,” said Kevin. “She was back there, and she tried to stop an argument. Miss Wilykit, please continue.”

“With pleasure, Your Honor,” Wilykit said. “Mr. Defense Attorney, do you deny that you are really A‑Tom‑U‑Lar, Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar’s evil older brother? Do you deny that this is the only way you could have saved your brother, although you are more powerful that he is? Do you deny that your only weakness is that you transform into a mirror image of the person you’re attempting to impersonate?”

“Your Honor!” Spelling cried.

“I shall clear this up right now,” said Steelheart. She got up, took Spelling’s hands, and brought them together. Spelling transformed into his true form, A‑Tom‑U‑Lar. “Yes, Your Honor, I give you A‑Tom‑U‑Lar. Remember that I got you once for imitating a police officer? You broke into Dolare, turned into one of the guards, attacked Lord Cash, and attempted to make off with the entire banking world. I’m glad that I stopped you before you robbed Dolare clean, globe-brain.”

Condor came up and took the atomic transformation ring from A‑Tom‑U‑Lar’s hand. “I’ll take charge of this, A‑Tom‑U‑Lar. You won’t need it where you’re going.”

“How did you know, Wilykit?” asked A‑Tom‑U‑Lar with anger.

“Call it a good memory,” said Wilykit. “And I’m not the only one who noticed. My brother did, too.”

“At least you won’t have the chance to blow a hole in Switzerland’s banks again,” Condor said. “Keeping all the latinum, gold, and silver of monetary value of the world in one place is not a good idea.”

“I’ll still get vengeance for your stopping that heist,” said A‑Tom‑U‑Lar as Steelwill wrestled him into a steel straightjacket.

“And don’t forget that Steelheart and I caught you for trying to take over Automata by transforming yourself into an optical disc,” said Steelwill. “We were lucky to find you, or else Limbo would have been shut down.”

“I’ll get you and your blasted sister for that, Steelwill.”

“Don’t forget about me,” said Kidd.

“I’ll never forget about you, you bothersome brat,” said A‑Tom‑U‑Lar. “My defeat at your hands was the most irritating of all.”

Kevin brought down his gavel. “The defendants are bound over for jury trial in a court on the charges of armed robbery and assault on police officers. Mr. Burger, I suggest that you charge A‑Tom‑U‑Lar with practicing without a license and for breaking out of the Penal Planet. And find out what happened to the real Rick Spelling.”

“Very good, Your Honor,” says Burger.

“Court is adjourned,” said Kevin. Everyone rose as he said this. Suddenly, the courtroom then started to get flooded.

“What?” said Steelwill. “A flood! As that Ludwig said.”

“This is your handiwork, Windhammer,” Steelheart said. “Stop it now!”

“Impossible,” said Windhammer. “I haven’t my Tuning Fork. Without it, I cannot change the weather.”

“Oh, dear,” Kevin said. He entered Chambers and exited a moment later in his normal clothes.

Wilykit had rushed to the back to join her brother. The two saw Ludwig and Eggplant rush up to the defense table. “Look, ’Kat,” said Wilykit. “Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa and his companion are joining the defendants.” Wilykat was still sitting. Just then, a wave washed over him. “Wilykat!” Wilykat stood up and spat water out of his mouth like a fountain.

“Well, we can’t do anything about it,” said Wilykat.

“No, but I can,” Cheetara said. “I’ll get help.” She zipped out, passing through the double doors before the water forced them closed.

Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa and Eggplant Wizard arrived at the defense table. “Hello, I am Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa, and this is Eggplant Wizard,” he said. “No time for further introductions at the moment. Let’s get out of here.” He transformed them all into dust motes that slipped through the gap between the double doors. Once they were outside, they turned back to normal. Ludwig and Eggplant Wizard held the doors closed. “Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar, can you seal this door shut with Mo‑Lec‑U‑Tar?”

Mo‑Lec‑U‑Lar laughed. “I certainly can.” He pointed his bolt hand, his right, at the doors. The end of the bolt opened up and released a super-strong tar that sealed the doors.

Hardware guffawed. “Now, those infernal Silver Hawks will drown to death.”

“They are not the only ones who will drown,” Mon*Star said. “All those goody-goody Thunder Cats are in there, as well, not to mention some of the N‑Team.” He laughed.

Cheetara ran towards them. “Not quite all of the Thunder Cats, Mon*Star.”

“Not you!”

“Aw, don’t make your stars go supernova, Mon*Star,” said Liquidator. He turned to Cheetara. “Too good around the ears? Remember to get all of that good grime off with the Liquidator.” Liquidator washed Cheetara away with a wave of water. She screamed as she was washed outside. “Yes! And, since cats hate water and dogs, be sure to get rid of them with the wettest, foulest mutt of all, the Liquidator.”

A laser blasted through the doors, which broke outwards and smashed into Mon*Star and Hardware. Water poured out of the courtroom. Steelheart and Steelwill emerged, shoulder-lasers smoking. “Did you think that you could drown us, water-brain?” Steelheart asked. “Well, think again.”

“Just great,” said Liquidator. “Another set of superheroes against whom to fight.”

“I’ll take care of these guys while the rest of you run,” Bushroot said. The other evildoers fled through a door to a docking port. Bushroot tossed some green beans on the floor in front of the Steeltwins and then ran to the vehicles.

“A few green beans?” Steelwill said. “These things couldn’t stop a quarter-pound weakling.” Suddenly, the beans grew larger than the Steeltwins, and engulfed the Steeltwins in their pods. “Yaah!”

Kevin came out of the courtroom and blasted the pea pods with his Zapper. This burned slits in the pea pods, allowing the Steeltwins to come out. “Thanks,” said Steelheart. “Let’s get after them.”

“There’s no time,” said Kevin. “We must rescue Darkwing Duck first. He’ll know how to stop F.O.W.L. But before that, we need to stop this flood.”

“Leave that to us,” Steelheart said. The Silver Hawks opened emergency flood doors and drained the water out of the planet. When the asteroid was again high and dry, they departed through a warp zone that they had made to Hawkhaven. They went to a room off the hangar where some others were working.

“Paul, have you gotten that warp made?” Mason asked.

“Yes,” said Drake, “but F.O.W.L. has captured Darkwing Duck; GizmoDuck; Launchpad McQuack, Darkwing Duck’s pilot; Scrooge McDuck; and Gosalyn Mallard, Darkwing Duck’s adopted daughter.”

“They aren’t the only members of Darkwing’s Justice Ducks,” said Kevin. “There are some others, including Morganna McCawber, Neptunia, and Stegmutt.”

“Who are the villains?” asked Paul.

“The villains are Liquidator, Bushroot, Mega Volt, Quacker Jack, Negaduck, Moliarity, Tuskerninni, and F.O.W.L. agents Steelbeak and Ammonia Pine. Two were accompanying the Mob at court today, and they were Liquidator and Bushroot. The ones that have Darkwing and his friends are most likely Mega Volt, Quacker Jack, Negaduck, Steelbeak, and Ammonia Pine. Moliarity works independently from the other agents, as does Tuskerninni, but they all join up once in a while. Moliarity lives underground. His eyes are fairly sensitive to the light of the sun, but not so much as they used to be. Tuskerninni is more unpredictable. He occasionally hangs out in the Old Haunt in the Bad Part of Town, though.”

“Okay, we’ll go see if we can find Darkwing,” said Mason.

“Actually, Mr. Mason, you, Mr. Drake, Lieutenant Tragg, Mr. Burger, and the rest of you stay back here where it’s safe. The Silver Hawks and adult Thunder Cats, as well as the rest of the N‑Team, can come with me.”

“I’ve usually joined in your adventures since I moved to VideoLand,” Mason said.

“Believe me, you’ll have plenty of work,” said Kevin. “Your turn will come. Rest while you can.”

“Okay, if you put it that way,” said Mason. “I’ll wait until you need my help. Then, you call me and tell me what to do.”

“Okay,” said Kevin. “Steelheart, we’ll need to use your radio to get all the N‑Team, Silver Hawks, and Thunder Cats assembled in one place.”

“Right, Kevin,” said Steelheart. “We’ll organize all three of our groups together, and then we’ll go to Saint Canard and free Darkwing.”

* * *

Negaduck and Steelbeak’s Hideout, Saint Canard, Darkwing’s Earth.

At Negaduck’s lair in Saint Canard, Mega Volt was recharging his battery. “That duck really burnt me up,” he said. “Thanks to that bolt of electricity he bounced back at me, I probably won’t ever get a charge again.” Meanwhile, to Mega Volt’s intense displeasure, Quacker Jack was bouncing around gleefully. “Quacker Jack, stop it! Grumpy people hate cheerful people.”

“Hoo, hoo, hoo,” laughed Quacker Jack. “Haven’t you guessed yet that I’m a nut?”

“Oh, how the thought could possibly escape me. Shut up before I decide to deep-fry you, toy-brain!” As he shouted this, bolts of lightning began coming out of his connectors. “Hey! I think I finally got a charge.” He removed the jumper cables from the connectors on top of his head and laid them to one side. He switched off his battery charger. “All right, clown. Let’s conquer this burg. I’ll blast the electric company.”

“Then, I’ll blast the main toy company in the city to smithereens. Hoo, hoo, hoo! I’m such a nut.”

“Indeed,” said Mega Volt.

Agent Steelbeak came into the room. “Hi, guys. Off to wreak some major havoc?”

“Yes,” said Quacker Jack. “I’m off to conquer Saint Canard Toys, Incorporated, and create mass damage with my vast arsenal of wicked toys. It’s time that people stopped taking me seriously! Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

“Boy, is that right,” said Mega Volt. With a wicked look on his face, he rubbed his hands together, and sparks came out of his glowing connectors on top of his head. “I am off to take over the electric company, Steelbeak. With it, I’ll electrify every electric and electronic device in Saint Canard. No data at all will remain. Ha, ha, ha!”

“What about Darkwing Tower?” asked Steelbeak. “What’ll you do about that?”

“When we get through with our city-wide destruction spree, Quacker Jack and I will go over to Darkwing Tower and create mass destruction!” All three laughed.

“Excusez-moi while I call F.O.W.L. High-Command. Be off to your dirty deeds, Mega Volt and Quacker Jack.”

Mega Volt and Quacker Jack walked towards the door. “QJ, after we do our mass destruction sprees, you grab that fishy Neptunia and I grab Darkwing’s girlfriend, Morganna McCawber. We’ll do that before we conquer Darkwing Tower.”

“You’ve got it, MV,” said Quacker Jack. “Let’s go do some major devastation. Ha, ha, ha!”

After seeing them both off, Steelbeak took out his cellular telephone and dialed. On the high-resolution color screen of this telephone appeared the three shadowy beings of F.O.W.L. High-Command. One was a vulture, one a duck, and one a rooster. “Ah, Agent Steelbeak,” the Duck-Leader said.

“Yo, High-Command,” Steelbeak greeted. “How ya doin’?”

“That depends. Have you any progress to report from your independent project?”

“Quite well. Say, High-Command, how about givin’ my pals, Agents Bushroot and Liquidator, a promotion? They’ve personally captured Darkwing Duck.”

“How did they do it?”

“It was easy. Agent Liquidator watered some of Agent Bushroot’s powerful seeds, causing them to sprout into wicked vines and tie up Darkwing and his pals. In fact, Agents Quacker Jack and Mega Volt have just left to destroy the city and ransack Darkwing Tower, not to mention capturing Morganna McCawber and Neptunia.”

“Excellent, Agent Steelbeak,” the Vulture-Leader said. “Your group is far more resourceful than we originally thought. Keep up the good work, Agent Steelbeak.”

“And no offense,” said the Duck-Leader, “but you really shouldn’t let Agent Quacker Jack leave his toys lying around everywhere. They should be used as traps for trespassers.”

“Gotcha,” said Steelbeak. “Agent Steelbeak over and out.” Steelbeak waited for High-Command to cut the communication, and then flipped the phone back into the inner pocket of his jacket. “I just love workin’ for those guys!”

* * *

Director Hooter’s Office, SHUSH, Saint Canard, Darkwing’s Earth.

In Director J. Gander Hooter’s office at SHUSH, Agent Grizzlykov and Director J. Gander Hooter were conversing. “I knew Darkwimp Dupe would be messing this up,” Grizzlykov said.

“Nonsense,” said Director Hooter. “This is just a setback.” The phone on Hooter’s desk rang. He picked up the receiver. “Yes. Who is it? . . . Oh, it is? . . . Well, send her in. Thank you.” Hooter hung up. “It’s Morganna McCawber, Darkwing’s sorceress girlfriend.”

“Hmph. She is criminal.”

“She was a criminal. She has reformed, thanks to Darkwing Duck’s influence.”

Morganna came in. “Hello, Director Hooter,” she said. “I understand my Darkwing is in trouble.”

“I’m afraid so,” said Hooter. “F.O.W.L. Agents Bushroot and Liquidator captured Darkwing, GizmoDuck, Launchpad McQuack, Gosalyn Mallard, and millionaire Scrooge McDuck. They have them in Negaduck and Steelbeak’s secret hideout. Actually, it belongs to one of the two, but no one knows which one, and I really don’t give a hoot.” The phone rang once again. “Oh, dear.” Hooter picked up the phone and said, “Yes? . . . Good! Send them in.” He once again hung up. “Stegmutt and Neptunia are on their way in.” No sooner did he say this than Stegmutt and Neptunia opened the door and entered the office.

“We came because we thought Darkwing was in trouble,” said Neptunia.

“I’m afraid so, Neptunia,” said Hooter. “You see, F.O.W.L. Agents Bushroot and Liquidator have him, GizmoDuck, Launchpad McQuack, Gosalyn Mallard, and Scrooge McDuck prisoners in Agents Negaduck’s and Steelbeak’s hideout. I also got a recent tip that Agents Mega Volt and Quacker Jack are up to their old tricks. Mega Volt is messing up electronic records, and Quacker Jack is messing up the whole city with his evil toys. You three could be the city’s only hope.” The window shattered. Quacker Jack rode in out of the pouring rain on a large set of snap-teeth. “My word!”

“Then, the city has no hope,” said Quacker Jack with insane laughter. “It’s play-time!”

A bolt of electricity came out of the wall socket. That bolt transformed into Mega Volt. “I know you’ll think that this is a really shocking experience,” said Mega Volt. “Suck volts, do‑gooding bozos.” Mega Volt fired three rays of electricity, which surrounded Stegmutt, Morganna, and Neptunia.

“I’ll fix the director and Agent Sillykopf,” said Quacker Jack. He pointed at Hooter and Grizzlykov. His sets of snap-teeth clamped themselves on the two.

“The indignity of this,” said Hooter. “Darkwing will fix you yet, Quacker Jack.”

“And how will he stop me?” asked Quacker Jack. “Oh, I know: he’ll pull his old disappear-into-smoke trick and appear somewhere else.” Quacker Jack and Mega Volt both laughed.

“Now that we’ve gotten these do‑gooders, let’s head for Darkwing Tower and do the remainder of our mass destruction,” Mega Volt said.

“Yeah,” said Quacker Jack. “It’s time to give Darkwing Tower the works.”

“Let’s go,” said Mega Volt. They ordered their villainous devices to take these good guys back to Negaduck’s and Steelbeak’s hideout. Then, the two lunatics left for Darkwing Tower.

* * *

Darkwing Tower.

At Darkwing Tower, everyone was nervous. “Oh, dear,” said Mrs. Beakley, the nanny for Scrooge McDuck’s nephews. She was about as tall as Launchpad, and she wore a lavender dress. She was plump, but this didn’t slow her down. “They aren’t back yet. I wonder if everything’s all right.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t count on it, you nanny-goat,” said Quacker Jack, coming in through the window.

“It’s Quacker Jack,” said Huey.

“My, you got it right on the first try, Huey Duck,” said Quacker Jack. “It’s play-time!”

“Confound it!” Mega Volt’s voice said from the electrical outlet, startling everyone. “This blasted electrical system has so many bumps. Ow! That turn was at a ten-degree angle. Yowch! That turn was at a half-degree angle.” Suddenly, he emitted a blood-curdling scream. “That turn was at a quarter-degree angle!” Finally, Mega Volt emerged one socket and fell flat onto the floor, gasping for breath. “That ride was a real doozy, QJ. You wouldn’t like it. Oh—” His chin dropped to the floor.

“Up and at ’em, Mega Volt,” said Quacker Jack. “Are you going to leave them to me?”

“You deal with them, Quacker,” said Mega Volt. “I handled Neptunia, Morganna, and Stegmutt, remember?”

“Oh, all right,” said Quacker Jack. “I think it’s time to play. Hee, hee, hee!”

“We will never play with Quacker Jack Toys,” said Dewey.

“Yeah. They’re dangerous,” said Louie.

“How many times do I have to tell people that my toys are not dangerous?” Quacker Jack snapped.

“Then what else could they be?” asked Webbigail van der Quack, Mrs. Beakley’s granddaughter.

“Oh, puh‑leeze,” said Mrs. Crackshell. “The Quacker Jack Toys at the bottom of Quacker Jack snack boxes are fun.”

“See?” said Quacker Jack. “I have a supporter.”

“Are you kidding? You’re a villain. You’re a nasty, low-down, scheming villain. I love your toys, but I hate you for all the destruction you cause.”

“That does it,” said Quacker Jack. “I’m tired of being nice. I’m taking all of you to Negaduck and Steelbeak.” Suddenly, an arrow flew into his rear end. He screamed as he leapt as high as the eye could see. At the end of his impromptu flight, he crashed on his chest. Immediately, he leapt to his feet. “All right! Who had the nerve to do that?”

“A little brat with wings and a skimpy little outfit,” said Mega Volt.

“Oh, yeah?” Quacker Jack whirled around to face the window. A small person with a cherubic human face flew through the window using wings attached to his back.

“That serves you right‑icus,” the small archer said.

“Who are you?”

“I am Kid Icarus of the N‑Team, Quacker Jack‑ius.” He turned to Mega Volt. “And you must be Sparky.”

Recovered, Mega Volt sprang to his feet. “Ooh, no one lives to regret calling me ‘Sparky’! Eat volts, N‑Twerp.” Mega Volt fired an electric bolt, which Kid Icarus barely dodged. Mega Volt swore. “Oh, I missed! Of all the rotten luck.”

“Oh, knock it off,” said Quacker Jack. “Listen, you little arrow-pitching angel. Keep your arrows out of my rear end from now on, and I’ll forget that this ever happened.”

“I can’t promise that, Chuckles,” said Kid Icarus. “I’m not going to reverse what I said.”

“Don’t call me that. Mega Volt, deep‑fry him.”

“Whatever you say, QJ,” said Mega Volt. He tossed a bolt at Kid Icarus. Kid Icarus dodged this bolt, too, but by less. “No! No, no, no, no, no!”

Liquidator and Bushroot materialized in the room. “Cool your joules, Mega Volt,” said Bushroot. “I’ll take care of the angel. The Eggplant Wizard’s told me all about you, Kid Icarus.”

“So?” Kid Icarus asked. “Why would you believe him?”

“Why shouldn’t I? He’s a fellow plant.” Bushroot raised his hands, and weeds emerged from the floor to wrap up Kid Icarus.

“Hey! Stop it‑icus.”

Quacker Jack laughed. “Good going, Dr. Bushroot. That little brat-fink stuck one of his arrows in my butt.”

“So? You need an arrow stuck in your fat rear, Quacker Junk‑head.” A short android came in through another window.

“MegaMan,” said Kid Icarus. “Save me.”

“Listen, MegaMan, Dr. Wily told me how to flood your circuits, so don’t mess with us,” Liquidator said.

“So what? You’re just a bunch of water, Waterhead.”

“Call me ‘Waterhead,’ will you? Okay, android. You asked for it.” MegaMan blasted a DiveMissile into Liquidator. “Oh, no!” The DiveMissile sent Liquidator spinning.

“Try taking care of my electricity, MegaMoron,” said Mega Volt, who blasted a ray of powerful electricity at MegaMan.

“Whoa!” MegaMan leapt over the electric ray and so that it electrified Bushroot.

Bushroot screamed for a moment. Then, the ray’s effects subsided. “Whew. I’m glad I lasted.” He fell to the floor.

Mega Volt tried to fire more electricity at MegaMan but could not. “Aw, nuts. That journey through Dimwing’s electric system left me with less power.”

“It’s play-time,” said Quacker Jack. “Get a load of my wind‑up snapping teeth. Hoo, hoo!” Quacker Jack released a bunch of snapping teeth at the android. MegaMan tried his cannons on the teeth, but the teeth were too tough for his weapons. Finally, the teeth put the bite on him.

“Yaah! You dirty, mega-rotten skunk. You don’t play fair.”

“All’s fair in war, ’droid,” said Quacker Jack. “Let’s all get back to Negaduck’s lair and show him what we’ve done.”

Shaky, Liquidator approached. “Sounds fine to me.”

“Let’s get back there,” said Mega Volt, fuming. “I want to recharge my electrical powers before my neurons themselves run out of power.”

* * *

Steelbeak’s Lair, Saint Canard.

Back at Negaduck’s hideout, Steelbeak, Negaduck, Ammonia Pine, the entire Mob, and the entire Brain-Team were in conversation. They paused when Quacker Jack, Mega Volt, Dr. Reginald Bushroot, and Liquidator stepped in with their recent catch. “Well, I see you accomplished your mission,” Steelbeak said with a sinister laugh.

“I forgot to tell you earlier,” Bushroot told Quacker Jack and Mega Volt. “Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa’s Brain-Team and Mon*Star’s Mob warped here with us.”

“Welcome to Saint Canard, the new crime capital of our little planet,” Mega Volt said.

“Pleased to be here, Mega Volt,” Ludwig said. “Liquidator, I forgot to comment on your system of travel. I find it highly efficient.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Liquidator said.

“I think it’s time to call High-Command,” said Ammonia Pine. “What say, Steelbeak?”

“Hey,” said Steelbeak. “That’s, like, a great idea.” He turned to Darkwing, who was tied to the wall. “What say you, Dimwing?”

“You will never get away with this, Steelbeak,” said Darkwing.

“Oh, yeah? Says who?” Steelbeak pointed a remote control toward a TV screen and pressed the power button.

The screen activated to show the shadowy form of the Duck-Leader of High-Command. “Good day, Agent Steelbeak. The rest of High-Command is at dinner. What have you to report?”

“I report that Agents Mega Volt, Bushroot, Liquidator, and Quacker Jack have finished capturing Darkwimp Dumbo’s team. They also have two members from another do‑gooding team.”

“Did you say another do‑gooding team? This is terrible! Identify them.”

“One is the N‑Team, headed by Captain N and Princess Lana. Another is the Mario-Team, headed by Mario, Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa, Queen Toadstool, and King Spike Koopa. Another is the Silver Hawks, headed by Steelheart. And lastly, there’s the Thunder Cats, headed by Lion‑O.”

“Oh, yes. I’ve heard of them before. You aren’t pulling my leg, are you? I would hate that.”

“Believe me, it ain’t no joke. I wish it were.”

“Well, I still hate it. I want them stopped! I don’t care what it takes, Agent Steelbeak. Just stop them before they clean up crime on our planet!” The screen turned off.

“Boy,” said Steelbeak. “The Duck-Leader sure is in a foul mood. Get it? Fowl? Heh, heh, heh, heh!”

“I get it, Steelbeak,” Negaduck said. He looked over the new captives. “Well, if it isn’t Kid Icarus and his metal pal, MegaMan. How are you?”

“I’ve seen mega-better days, Negajerk,” said MegaMan.

“Well!” said Negaduck. “It appears that the Duck-Leader of F.O.W.L. High-Command isn’t the only one who’s in a bad mood today.”

A few minutes later, Steelbeak looked at his watch. “Like, I’ll call the Vulture-Leader for a few suggestions. He’s usually back at this time, and the Duck-Leader is usually at dinner.” He flipped on the screen and a communication line to High-Command.

Now, only the Vulture-Leader was under the F.O.W.L. sign. “Ah, good evening, Agent Steelbeak,” said the Vulture-Leader. “Boy, your news sure made the Duck-Leader upset a few minutes ago. I thought that she’d never stop yelling. Nevertheless, thank you for making your report. Now, what was it you called me about?”

“I’d like to ask your advice, if you don’t mind.”

“Go right ahead.”

“We need more manpower to fix those do‑gooders I told her about. Who do you suggest?”

“Let me see. Find Tuskerninni and Moliarity. They will be able to help. Also, you and your new allies should seek out Mumm‑ra and his Plundarrian cohorts. If they are not on third‑Earth, they will probably be on New Thundera.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Oh, and Steelbeak—”

“Yes, sir?”

“Watch your back. From what I’ve heard, those good guys can really hurt.”

“No problemo,” said Steelbeak. “Have a nice day.”

“Farewell,” said the Vulture-Leader. The screen turned off automatically.

Steelbeak turned to Quacker Jack and Bushroot. “Quacker Jack and Dr. Reginald Bushroot, get three F.O.W.L. Egg‑Men apiece and look for Moliarity and Tuskerninni. Quacker Jack, Tuskerninni was last seen in the Bad Part of Town. Bushroot, Moliarity is down in the caverns, as usual.”

“Whatever you say, Steelbeak,” said Quacker Jack.

“Yes sir, Steelbeak,” said Bushroot. Quacker Jack and Bushroot left the room.

“If you don’t mind, Steelbeak, I’m going to help Quacker Jack,” Mega Volt said.

“Yeah, go right ahead,” Steelbeak said. “And hey, the next time anyone calls you the S‑P‑word, don’t react so harshly unless it’s a do‑gooder, all right?”

“All right, Steelbeak,” said Mega Volt. He left the room.

* * *

Caverns beneath Saint Canard, Darkwing’s Earth.

Deep in the dark and gloomy caverns beneath Saint Canard, the evil Moliarity, a criminal mole, was pondering over the problem of the century: how to put an end to Darkwing Duck’s career of stopping criminals and, indeed, to Darkwing Duck’s life.

“Now, let’s see,” said Moliarity. “There must be some way to destroy that do‑gooding, scheme-destroying Darkwing Duck.” He looked to the right and saw a plant growing in his direction. “I seem to have a slight weed problem.”

When the plant reached him, it sprouted and released Dr. Reginald Bushroot! “Hey, Moliarity! How are you?”

“Well, hello, Dr. Bushroot,” said Moliarity. “I’m dandy as a lion. Get it? How’s it going?”

“Oh, pretty good,” said Bushroot. “We nabbed that plant-arresting Dimwit Dope. I came to invite you to join our team of diabolical do‑badders.”

“Great. I’ll come. Just let me gather a few things.” Bushroot nodded.

Iggy and Lemmy (Spike)Koopa, sons of the good King Spike Koopa, appeared instantly out of a warp. “You won’t need to pack up things for where you are going, Moliarity,” Iggy said.

“The lockup!” said Lemmy.

“Oh, it’s you,” said Bushroot. “Two do-gooding cousins of the evil Ludwig. Do you brats always stick together?”

“Yes,” both said.

“Well, then, we may find a place for you to hang out together. On Negaduck’s wall!” Bushroot laughed. “Moliarity, do what you can to stop these two brats of King Spike the Benevolent, another of the many meddling do‑gooders in this universe.”

Moliarity removed a gun from his drawer and aimed it at the two Koopalings. “Say good‑bye to your elbow-room, twits.” He fired. A laser shot from the gun and tied the two up. Just as he was preparing to gloat, a whip whacked Moliarity’s hands, making him drop the gun. “Ow! Who did that?”

“Simon Belmont, vampire-hunter!” Simon Belmont dropped down to Bushroot and Moliarity’s level.

“Well, well,” Bushroot said. “Simon Belmont, the only person more egotistical than Darkwing Duck, as if such a thing were possible. Count Dracula’s told me all about you, Belmont.”

“So? Do you actually believe him?” asked Simon.

“Why shouldn’t I? He’s a strict carnivore.” Bushroot raised the palms of his hands out away from his body. Weeds grew and entrapped Simon.

“Oh, no,” said Simon. “Let me out of here, Bushroot. I simply must check my hair in my mirror, or I’ll die.”

“Then croak,” said Bushroot. “Worry not, Moliarity. I have enough strongmen to take these two to Negaduck’s hideout.” He put his thumb and index finger in his bill and whistled. His three F.O.W.L. Egg‑Men trampled into the area. “Okay, Egg‑Men, take these three back to Negaduck’s Hideout. Tell Negaduck and Steelbeak of our victory. You ready to go, Professor Moliarity?”

“Yes,” said Moliarity, closing a briefcase full of malicious inventions. “Are we going to Negaduck’s digs now?”

“Not yet. We have other business to attend to first.” They both laughed. The Egg‑Men took Simon, Lemmy, and Iggy to Negaduck’s hideaway while Moliarity and Bushroot headed for a tunnel that led to the Bad Part of Town.

* * *

Old Haunt, Bad Part of Town, Saint Canard, Darkwing’s Earth.

The Bad Part of Town was the most feared quarter of Saint Canard. It was a small, dark district where crime ran rampant, and many criminals sought refuge. The heart of the area was the Old Haunt, the most rancid bar to be found anywhere. The constant rain only made matters worse.

Steelheart, Captain N, Lion‑O, Prince Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa, and Mario arrived at the saloon-style doors to the Old Haunt. “This sure isn’t the most elegant place I’ve seen in Saint Canard,” Steelheart said.

“Correct,” said Mario, “but I’m as wet as a water-doused meatball. Let’s enter.”

“Let’s put on our disguises first,” said Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa.

In the Old Haunt, several unsavory, unsophisticated thugs were playing games such as pool, darts, and pinball. Quacker Jack, Mega Volt, and three F.O.W.L. Egg‑Men were mingling with the thugs. Quacker Jack and the Egg‑Men were racking up points on the games. Meanwhile, Mega Volt was in an air of extreme glum as he recharged his evil battery at the bar.

Mega Volt spoke to no one in particular. “I tell you, if I ever get my batteries fully recharged, I’m going turn that Darkwing Duck into deep-fried chicken.” He turned up the battery charger until the pointer on a gauge rose very close to the danger zone. He then situated his left arm flat on the table, his right elbow on the table, and his chin on his right hand. Power flowed from the battery into cables connected to the electrical connectors on top of his head, and sparks occasionally flew from the connectors.

Mega Volt raised his voice. “Hey, Pete, give me a beer. Make it a Duckwiser Lightning.”

The bartender nodded. He got a can of beer, poured it into a sweat-proof glass, and stuck a straw into the drink. He handed the glass to Mega Volt. “Here you go, Mega Volt.”

“Ah, thank you.” Mega Volt took a sip. “That feels so much better.” He took two or three sips. “Quacker Jack, come over here for a sec.” Quacker Jack went over to Mega Volt and took a seat next to him.

“What is it, Mega Volt?” asked Quacker Jack.

“I’m beginning to think that Tuskerninni might not come here today. Why don’t you and the Egg‑Men go search around? I’ll call on my cell if Tuskerninni and his penguins waddle in here.”

“Will do. What if some do‑gooders come in here?”

“If they make that mistake, I’ll fricassee them so much that they’ll wish they never came into this joint.”

“You’ve got it, Mega Volt.” Quacker Jack got up and went over to the F.O.W.L. Egg‑Men. “Hey, Egg‑Men! Cash in your chips. Let’s go look around.” The Egg‑Men left their games, cashed in their chips, and left the bar. Quacker Jack followed.

Mega Volt had just finished recharging his battery, to his relief, when the N‑Team entered in disguise. The first one to come in, Steelheart, burst open the door and knocked aside some strongmen playing games near the door. After her, Captain N, Lion‑O, Mario, and Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa came in. All five of them acted convincingly tough. Steelheart in particular.

When Mega Volt noticed them, he grew suspicious. “I wonder who they are.” Nursing the last of his beer, he kept a suspicious eye on them. They stalked over to the opposite end of the bar from Mega Volt.

Steelheart took on a tough-guy sort of tone and voice. Few women could carry it out as she could. “Bartender, give me a beer. The strongest on tap.” No thug with a fourth of a brain would dare mess with her or Steelwill; nature had made them two of the strongest humans in history. Anyone could tell she had the muscle to back up her words.

The bartender’s fearful expression showed that she had him convinced. Immediately, he fixed a beer from the tap and handed it to her. “Here you go, ma’am,” said he.

Tuskerninni and his penguins entered from the rain. Mega Volt nodded slightly in Tuskerninni’s direction. Noticing this, Tuskerninni came over to a stool next to Mega Volt and sat down. “The usual, Pete,” the walrus said.

“Yes, sir,” the bartender said.

“Hello, Tuskerninni,” Mega Volt said quietly. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“For me?” asked Tuskerninni. “What can I do for you?”

“You can help us get rid of Darkwing Duck and pals,” said Mega Volt. “Hang on a second.” Mega Volt removed a cell phone from his pocket and called Quacker Jack.

Quacker Jack answered immediately. “Mega Volt, I’m in trouble. Has Tuskerninni come in yet?”

“Yes,” answered Mega Volt. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been caught by N‑Team members who identified themselves as Steelwill, Quicksilver, Tygra, Luigi, Prince Larry (Spike)Koopa, and Link. What am I to do?”

Mega Volt gasped. “Oh, no. Stall ’em! Tuskerninni and I will get out there and find you.” Mega Volt hung up. “Let’s go, Tuskerninni.”

The N‑Team members in the bar saw Mega Volt and Tuskerninni leave. “They’re going, as you planned, Steelheart,” Kevin said. “Will you be all right?”

Steelheart finished her drink. “Don’t worry about me, Kevin. My digestive system has been modified by electronic circuitry so as not to let alcohol enter my bloodstream.” She set her glass on the table and paid the bartender in Canardian Dollars, which had been converted from Limbo Dollars after considerable haggling over the exchange rate. Then, she departed the bar with her new friends. Once outside the bar, they took off their disguises. “Hold it right there, you two!”

Mega Volt and Tuskerninni looked behind them. “Oh, nuts,” Mega Volt said. “It’s Steelheart and the N‑Team, including Ludwig’s do-gooding cousin, Ludwig. Uh, did that come out right?”

“Let’s make a run for it, Mega Volt,” said Tuskerninni. “This is the chase scene.” He and Mega Volt sped away. Steelheart, Captain N, Mario, Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa, and Lion‑O ran after them.

Mario removed a Fire Flower from his overalls and charged up with the flower’s powers. “You aren’t running anywhere, you criminals. Try a taste of my fireballs.” Mario shot fireballs at Mega Volt and Tuskerninni. A ball hit Mega Volt.

“Ouch,” Mega Volt cried. “Blast. Running in this rain is making me lose power. Eat volts, lasagna-loving pest!” He fired a ray of electricity at Mario and scored a hit.

Mario yelped as his firepower left him. “Uh, oh. I just ran out of firepower.”

Still running, Mega Volt turned his head around, stuck out his tongue, and made a raspberry. “Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah! Serves you right, linguine-brain.” Suddenly, Mega Volt ran into someone who was running the opposite way. Immediately, Tuskerninni ran into Mega Volt. All three crashed onto the ground. “All right! Who . . . Quacker Jack?”

Quacker Jack recovered quickly. “Mega Volt?”

The Egg‑Men tripped over Quacker Jack and crashed right behind Mario. “Aren’t those F.O.W.L. Egg‑Men?” Mario asked.

“They sure are, brother,” answered Luigi. He and some others were coming from the other way.

“Good work, everyone,” said Steelheart. “But what are you doing here?”

“We decided to come along to the Bad Part of Town and investigate Mega Volt’s lair,” Quicksilver said. “Just before we got there, we saw Quacker Jack and F.O.W.L. Egg‑Men. When they spotted us, they started running. We gave chase. Mega Volt called him on a wireless phone, and he told Mega Volt that we were after him and his thugs.

“We soon noticed that he was running toward the Old Haunt. We were about to call you until we saw Mega Volt running from you. Quacker Jack had turned around and said, ‘You’ll never catch us, N‑Dopes!’ After that, Quacker Jack, Mega Volt, and Tuskerninni crashed into each other. That’s about it.”

“Good work,” said Steelheart. “Thanks for the help, guys.”

“Any time,” said Steelwill. “All right, Quacker Jack, where is Negaduck and Steelbeak’s hideout?”

“That is none of your business,” said Quacker Jack, crossing his arms like a pouty child.

“We are enforcers of the law,” informed Tygra. “We have full legal right to such knowledge. Besides, between us, I think we have enough muscle to convince you that you should talk.”

“My beak is sealed,” Quacker Jack said.

“Then we’ll bust you for concealing evidence and obstructing justice,” said Steelheart.

“Then bust me, too, because my mouth is shut,” said Mega Volt.

“Oh, that really isn’t too necessary,” said Moliarity’s voice. The good guys turned towards him. Moliarity was rolling a large gun towards them along a crossing street. Along with him were Dr. Reginald Bushroot and Liquidator. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Moliarity, a mad scientist with a knack for electronics.”

“You look like a reject from a college that requires a low SAT score,” Steelheart said.

Moliarity scowled. “Oh, that does it! Say good‑bye to tomorrow, Silver Hawk.”

Mon*Star’s laughter sounded from above. He descended towards the street on his flying squid, Sky‑Runner. “Oh, that won’t be necessary, Moliarity. I’ll take care of them.” A blue music laser suddenly blew him out of his seat. He screamed as he fell to the ground. He landed right on Moliarity.

Moliarity’s wind was knocked out of him. “Hey! What are you trying to do, bust my butt?”

“I’m not,” said Mon*Star. “Bluegrass could be, though.”

Bluegrass, who had just unseated Mon*Star, landed the Mirage just beside the road. He got out and went over to Steelheart.

“Good work, cowboy,” said Steelheart. “Now, we have one more to take to jail.”

The wicked Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa entered the scene. “Good day, N‑Team. I trust you are enjoying your visit to this fine quarter of Saint Canard?”

“Fine,” said Steelheart. “And yourself, snake-face?”

“Don’t get him ticked off,” said Kevin. “You won’t like him when he’s angry.”

“A most valuable observation,” said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa. “And how are you, my good cousin?”

“I’d rather be a star witness for the prosecution, with you as the defendant,” Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said.

“I see.” The evil one withdrew his scepter from his shell. “You know, as much as I hate to do it, I must take you in to High-Command.”

“Since when does the powerful Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa have to do what F.O.W.L. High-Command says?” Kevin asked in a condescending tone.

“They asked me to supervise the capture of the entire N‑Team, so I decided to help them out, Captain N.” He aimed his scepter at them.

“You’ll have to do better than shoot a ray from an elaborate gun to stop us,” said Steelheart. She fired a laser at the scepter. When the laser struck the scepter, the weapon absorbed the laser, flashed a few times, and then fired the laser back and knocked Steelheart out. Steelwill gasped.

“Powerful lady, Steelheart, but I doubt that even you could beat me now that I’ve increased my power 400%. Now.” He fired a beam from his scepter and stunned the rest of the good guys in a second. “Good night, guys.”

Mega Volt got up with a groan. “What a knock-out.” He shook his head. He put his index fingers together, but only the smallest of sparks was made. “Aw, nuts! Now I need an F‑wording complete recharge. Oh, that Darkwing Duck! If he hadn’t deflected that electricity back at me, I wouldn’t be in this sorry state. And I just recharged my power in the Old Haunt completely. Darn it all, this is the fault of that Darkwing Duck! I hate him. I’ll fry his F‑wording beak off.”

“Cool it, Mega Volt,” said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa.

“Prince Ludwig!” Mega Volt zipped over to Ludwig and started kissing his feet. “Oh, am I glad to see you, Your Incredibly Wicked Vileness.”

Ludwig rolled his eyes. “Knock it off.” He blasted Mega Volt with his scepter.

“Hey! What was that for, Your Wickedness?”

“That was to completely repair and recharge your battery. The problem was that Darkwing Duck had knocked the storage power out of your battery, and he had also increased the time to recharge to maximum power by a thousand percent. I have repaired those issues, and more. I have vastly reduced your charge time, while increasing your total storage capacity. You’ll also be able to hold a charge for a month if you use it as usual.”

“Thanks,” said Mega Volt. “All right, you do‑gooding buffoons. It’s to Negaduck’s lair for you.”

“I’ll take care of them,” said Liquidator. He clapped his hands twice, and then a wave of water came down from the cloud and swooped up the N‑Team. “Well, now, Agent Steelbeak can take care of them.”

A warp zone formed in the sky. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo fell out of it and onto the street. In the process, King Hippo squashed Eggplant Wizard. King Hippo got up, peeled Eggplant Wizard off the street, straightened him out, blew him up by blowing into his nose as though he were a balloon, and set him on the ground. He then proceeded to punch the sorcerer in the face. Eggplant Wizard fell on his back as vegetables came popping out of him.

“Serves you right, squash-face,” King Hippo bellowed. “I told you we should have turned right at the Mirror Warp Zone.”

Ludwig sighed. “Why are you two late? You irritate me quite a lot more than the N‑Team.”

Eggplant Wizard got up. “Sorry, Your Sneakiness, but flabbo here had us take the wrong turn at the Mirror Zone.”

“I did?” King Hippo asked. “You liar. It was your fault.”

“It was not, you big, tubby idiot,” said Eggplant Wizard. “You were probably eating too much pizza at the time to know where to go.”

“Aw, shut up,” said King Hippo. “Pipe down before I punch you out.”

“You shut up before I turn you into a beet,” said Eggplant Wizard.

“You—”

“Both of you shut the F‑word up before I fry you with some really nasty volts,” Mega Volt cried. Every inch of his body was sparking. “It’s shocker time. Have I your permission, Prince Ludwig?”

“You most certainly do,” said Ludwig.

Mega Volt fired a shock four times the dimensions of his body at Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. They were sheepishly petrified. “Uh, oh.” The mega-voltage struck and shocked them. They screamed. When the shock was over, they collapsed to the ground.

“Perhaps that will make you two wise up,” said Ludwig.

“Tell us what you came to tell us before I sic my snapping teeth loose on you,” said Quacker Jack. Five of his snap-teeth were ready for action behind him.

“We came to say, that Big MamaBrain and F.O.W.L. High-Command have located where the other N‑Twerps are,” Eggplant Wizard said.

“Then, it’s time to shock some living daylights out of a few do‑gooding N‑Team members,” said Mega Volt.

“Let’s get busy,” said Ludwig. “We have a lot of work to do. I sure love this line of work.”

* * *

December 18.

Negaduck and Steelbeak’s Lair, Saint Canard, Darkwing’s Earth.

At Negaduck’s lair, all the captured good guys had been neatly manacled to the wall. The foul group had a toast to the capture of the most powerful members of the N‑Team. “Good work, everyone,” said Negaduck. “How does it feel to be degraded to helplessness, Director J. Gander Hooter? Ha, ha, ha!”

“You will never get away with this, Negaduck,” said Hooter.

This is so humiliating, Darkwing thought to himself. When no evil person was looking at any of the N‑Team members, Darkwing reached towards his left cufflink with his bill. With the end of his beak, he grabbed a little ball and pulled it off, and then he spat the ball on the floor. Smoke appeared and engulfed the entire N‑Team. When the smoke cleared—

Negaduck turned toward the wall. In shock, he fell out of his chair. “Hey!” He got up. “They’re gone. All our goody-goody captives are gone. How did they do it?”

Bushroot went over and sniffed at the remains of the smoke. “That’s Darkwing Duck’s trademark smoke. We forgot about his smoke-cufflinks.”

Negaduck angrily smacked his right hand across his face. “That means that they could all be all the way to Hawkhaven by now. Oh, my gosh! What shall we do?”

“Oh, I didn’t want to catch them that way, anyway, Negaduck,” Steelbeak said. “No problecimo.”

“Darkwing Duck escapes, and you call it no problem?” Mega Volt said. “You must be mad. Mad, I tell you. Mad!”

“Don’t worry until Prince Ludwig gets back,” Liquidator said. “Are you bored out of your skulls? Are you tired of waiting for the rain to clear up? Are you so terminally bored that you find excitement in counting the tiles in the ceiling? Well, have those blues no more. Engage in life-threatening combat with the N‑Team.”

“You’re insane, Liquidator,” said Mega Volt. “How are we going to do that? If we did that, I’d be liable to lose my charge. Then again, it might be worth it. I can shock the devil out of Hawkhaven.”

“That’s not all,” said Liquidator. “Tired of petty larceny? Is even the grand larceny of tens of millions of dollars not enough for you? Do you wish for quintillions of dollars to knock on your door and come in just for you? The Liquidator has the answer: go to Duckburg and rob blind the Money Bin of the ultimate money-grubbing tycoon, Scrooge McDuck.”

Negaduck’s eyes widened. He leapt in the air in joy. “Yahoo! The crime of the millennium.”

“Yes,” said Steelbeak, “but how are we going to enter the building and sneak out with all of that cash? I mean, there must be billions of coins and bills in there. Hey, maybe I ought to use one of the bills in McDuck’s bin to replace this one on my face. Ha, ha, ha!”

“That’s quite amusing, Steelbeak,” said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa, coming in.

Steelbeak became nervous in a heartbeat. “Oh, uh, Prince Ludwig! About the N‑Team—”

“Calm yourself,” said Ludwig. “I know perfectly well what happened. Darkwing Duck plucked off one of his cufflink pellets and made himself and everyone else on the N‑Team warp to Hawkhaven in Limbo.”

“Sorry, boss. I hold myself personally responsible.”

Ludwig went over to Steelbeak and examined him closely. “You don’t understand. I wanted Darkwing and his pals to escape.”

“You what?” asked Negaduck.

“Now that Darkwing has escaped, we have an excuse to blow him and his friends away. As if we needed one, of course.”

Liquidator laughed. “In addition, I’ve planned a robbery, evil Prince Ludwig. It involves the Money Bin of that rich quack, Scrooge McDuck.”

“A robbery of that place? Have you thought this out?”

“With care,” said Liquidator. “Since when can anyone but me sneak in through Duckburg’s pipe system, travel through the maze of pipes to McDuck’s Money Bin, drain out all the money, and bring it all back here?”

Laughing, Ludwig pulled a large folded map out of his pocket. “Something compelled me to print a map the pipes and sewers of Duckburg, Saint Canard, and the intersections. Since this map has been prepared by a super computer and printed by a laser printer superior to any other printers available, you should not have much of a problem entering the Money Bin through the sewers and pipes.”

Liquidator took the map and carefully examined it. An evil smile crossed his face. “Tired of being in the poorhouse all the time? Has life not given you a suitably large amount of money? Well, then, go with the flow. Try the Liquidator brand, guaranteed to bring you quality products every single time. If it is not there within the hour, you have not ordered the Liquidator brand. Five hundred quadrillion, one hundred trillion, three billion, four hundred seventy-eight million, twelve thousand, one hundred thirty-three dollars and ninety-nine cents coming your way right now, guaranteed.” Liquidator turned on the water at the faucet. “Tah‑tah!” He leapt into the drain.

Quacker Jack turned off the water. “He must be crazy,” he said. “Ain’t it great? Ha, ha!”

“He must take after you,” said Mega Volt.

“Liquidator is really going to give us liquid assets,” Bushroot said with a laugh.

“Pipe down, plant-brain,” said Mega Volt.

“Hey,” said Bushroot. “Don’t order me around, watt-brain.”

“Watt’s the matter?” said Mega Volt. “How about I have fried vegetables for lunch?” Mega Volt illuminated Bushroot with a megawatt of electricity.

Bushroot screamed. “Okay, Mega Volt. You’ve asked for it.” Something chomped his leg and held on. It was one of Quacker Jack’s lethal wind‑up snap-teeth. “Ouch! Quacker Jack!”

“That is for arguing with Mega Volt,” Quacker Jack said.

“Oh, I forgot,” said Bushroot. “You two freaks are pals.”

“That’s right,” said Mega Volt.

“All right, you three,” Steelbeak said. “Enough entertainment. Let’s wait until the Liquidator gets back with all that moolah.”

“Yes,” Ammonia Pine said. “He’ll really clean out that rich tycoon’s money bin.”

Steelbeak removed a remote control from his pocket. “Now, to make a report to the High-Command of F.O.W.L.” He pressed a button on the remote control. The Vulture-Leader of High-Command appeared, along with the Duck-Leader. “Hello, High-Command. This is Agent Steelbeak.”

“Hello,” said the Vulture-Leader. “Prince Ludwig has told us that you permitted the N‑Team’s temporary escape, per his command. Well done, Agent Steelbeak.”

“Where is Agent Liquidator?” asked the Duck-Leader, looking around the room, seeing every super-villain but Liquidator.

“Well, the Liquidator has gone to pull a minor heist to fund our fight. A really modest amount of money. Say, a withdrawal of five hundred quadrillion, one hundred trillion, three billion, four hundred seventy-eight million, twelve thousand, one hundred thirty-three dollars and ninety-nine cents from Scrooge McDuck’s piggy-bank.”

The Duck-Leader’s eyes widened. “Five hundred quadrillion, one hundred trillion, three billion, four hundred seventy-eight million, twelve thousand, one hundred thirty-three dollars and ninety-nine cents? Has the Liquidator lost his soggy mind?”

“He says that he’s sneaking in through the pipe system,” said Steelbeak. “Plus, Ludwig gave him a thorough map.”

“Right, so we should be getting a cash flow in less than an hour,” Negaduck said. Suddenly, Darkwing’s trademark blue smoke wooshed into the room. “Uh, oh. It’s Dimwit Duck again.”

“I am the terror that flaps in your pipes,” Darkwing’s voice said. “I am the hairball that clogs your drain.” Darkwing appeared and held his cape to its widest span. “I am Darkwing Duck.” He released his cape and got out his Gas Gun. “Suck gas, evildoers.”

Mega Volt charged up. “Prepare to eat volts, Dimwing Duck.” He fired a stream of electricity towards Darkwing Duck, who ducked them.

“Stop that dumb quack, Agent Quacker Jack,” the Vulture-Leader and Duck-Leader both said.

Quacker Jack reached into his pocket and withdrew a pair of snap-teeth. “Prepare to be eaten, Drollwimp Dumbo.” The snap-teeth flew out of his hands and went after Darkwing Duck.

“Think you can put the bite on me?” asked Darkwing. “How about some Novocain Gas?” Darkwing fired a gas pellet at the teeth. This pellet contained Novocain, which sealed the teeth in a closed position.

“My teeth,” Quacker Jack cried.

“Suck tear gas, evildoer,” said Darkwing, firing a gas pellet at Quacker Jack. This pellet exploded when it hit him and released tear gas, which caused Quacker Jack to cry.

Tears streamed down Quacker Jack’s face, and he sobbed uncontrollably. “You play rotten, Darkwing Duck. I hate tear gas.” He got out a handkerchief and blew his nose.

Darkwing went over to the water fountain. He turned off the water flow with a valve and disconnected the water pipe. “Oh, I so hate lead poisoning,” he said. He attached a hose with a nozzle to this pipe and turned the valve back on. “Prepare to be short-circuited, Mega Volt.” He turned the nozzle so that water was thrust out of the hose.

“Oh, no,” said Mega Volt. He had barely begun running before the water hit him and shorted his circuits out. He shrieked. “I’m being short-circuited!” Within a few moments, he quit sparking. “My power. My beautiful power. Curse you, Darkwing Duck. When I get recharged, I’ll fry your tail feathers off. I already have a score to settle with you.”

“How long ago did the Liquidator leave for McDuck’s Money Bin?” asked Darkwing.

“I see that you got the tape from the real Tally-Hawk,” said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa. “Mon*Star noticed that the Tally-Hawk he had in custody was a fake. I suspected you would notice Liquidator’s departure.”

“Negaduck, fry that blasted duck’s feathers off,” ordered the Duck-Leader of F.O.W.L. High-Command.

“I’ll leave that to my criminal compatriots,” said Negaduck.

“Aren’t you duck enough to do your own work?” taunted Darkwing.

“Why, you bring up a wonderful point, Darkwing.” Negaduck tripped Darkwing by swinging his leg into both of Darkwing’s. Darkwing fell on his back.

Quacker Jack had regained his crazy humor. “Have a nice trip!”

Negaduck then grabbed Darkwing by the front collar, swung his fist, and whacked Darkwing right in the beak while releasing his collar. Propelled backwards by the blow, Darkwing crashed through the window. He fell to the ground from the top of the second-tallest skyscraper in Saint Canard.

“See you next fall,” Quacker Jack said with compulsive laughter.

“That’s the last we’ll ever see of Darkwing Duck,” Negaduck said.