Act 28 - Dates: 3, 20, 27 May, 29 July 1992

Section 3: Darkwing Duck’s Justice Ducks

Part 2: The Origins of Quacker Jack’s Powers and the Return of Negaduck

Characters: Darkwing’s Justice Ducks, N‑Team Secret Division, Fearsome Ten

I

n the Darkwing Tower, Darkwing Duck was reclining comfortably with a case-folder in his hands. “Ah, good evening,” he said, facing the news cameraman he had invited. “This city has many stories: some strange, some adventurous. But one thing’s for certain: there are no cases like the ones I’ve been involved in. No, one can never tell when a case is going to pop up, or where! For all I know, Mega Volt and Liquidator could be short-circuiting the electric plant to cut off the city’s power. But I’ll take this time off to tell you about one of my favorite cases. If you thought that the Justice Ducks only came together in the case entitled ‘Just Us Justice Ducks,’ think again. We banded together some time after that and have stayed together since. I can remember it clearly. It all started when Mega Volt, Bushroot, and Liquidator were going to the Saint Canard Arboretum to create a new, villainous plant capable of withstanding great shocks and surviving anywhere from the desert to the bottom of the lowest point of the Pacific Ocean. By the time I had learned about it, it was almost too late to stop them.”

He started a video playing. It panned across the city’s outskirts and settled on an arboretum on a hill.

* * *

May 3.

The Saint Canard Arboretum.

Atop a hill overlooking Saint Canard, the Saint Canard Arboretum was a place where Bushroot often hung out to experiment with plants. The arboretum had been closed for the night. Dr. Reginald Bushroot, Elmo ‘Mega Volt’ Sputterspark, and Bud ‘Liquidator’ Flood were entering the place. Liquidator slid under the door and opened it from the inside to let his companions enter. The three went straight to a laboratory. Bushroot had along his ‘pet,’ a large snapdragon named Spike, who was like a pet dog for Bushroot.

When they entered the lab, Bushroot got a pot containing experimental seeds and placed it on a table. He tittered with laughter. “The results of this experiment will cinch our plan for helping F.O.W.L., the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny, to dominate the world. Are we almost ready to bring back Negaduck?”

“Yeah, especially if Waterhead here can keep from messing things up,” Mega Volt said.

“You shut up about that, Mega Volt,” Liquidator said. “I never accuse you of messing things up.”

“I wish you could keep from fighting, you two,” said Bushroot. “You make me nervous.” Bushroot took a dropper and dropped a drip of his new formula into the soil of the plant. “There. When the three of us have completed our plan, our plant’s going to give new meaning to the word daisy.” He laughed.

“When do you need our assistance, Bushroot?” asked Liquidator.

“Not for a while. For the time being, why don’t you watch for Darkwing Duck?”

“That super-hero always fries my joules,” Mega Volt said. “If he interferes this time, I’m going to fry him.”

“Next time I see him, I’m going to liquidate him for turning me into pudding,” Liquidator said. “Having trouble with ducks in your belfry? Get rid of them with the assistance of Mega Volt and Liquidator, the two most dangerous villains ever.”

“Yeah! With my volts and your conductivity, we’ll fry the feathers off that cursed Darkwing.” He and Liquidator both laughed.

Purple smoke appeared in the lab’s far corner. “Look,” Liquidator said. “It’s that duck’s trademark smoke.”

Bushroot clamped his nose with his fingers. “Peyew! That explains the awful odor.” He began to cough.

Darkwing Duck appeared out of the smoke. “I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the weed-whacker that whacks your plans. I am Darkwing Duck!”

“Do you never knock?” asked Mega Volt.

“Your presence, Darkwing Dope, is not appreciated,” Liquidator said. He transformed into a puddle under Darkwing.

“Ha,” Darkwing said. “Do you think that’s going to stop me?”

Mega Volt charged up. “No, but this will!” He blasted Liquidator, and Darkwing was fried as a result.

“Whoa! That was hot.” Darkwing fell on his belly.

“Excellent work, Liquidator!”

Liquidator returned to his normal shape and slapped a high-five with Mega Volt. “Same to you, Mega Volt.”

Darkwing got up and stumbled around.

“Keep him occupied, please,” Bushroot whined. “I’ve almost finished.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix this duck.” Liquidator formed into a puddle under Darkwing, then, as a giant hand, pushed him up into the air and flung him into the wall. “If that didn’t knock out Darkwing, I don’t know what will. Ha, ha, ha!”

Suddenly, a wave of water splashed into the area, missing the table where Bushroot was working by an inch. He let loose a high-pitched scream. When the water cleared, the villains could see that Neptunia, protector of the sea, had arrived. “Do you evil-doers never quit?”

“Oh, it’s you,” Liquidator said. “Why did you turn against me? We could have been rid of all the pollution.”

“You watery villain. I never wanted to destroy the entire city or all the people. I just wanted to end pollution.”

“That’s gratitude for you.”

“I’ll show you even more gratitude.” She leapt into Liquidator and sent him spinning toward Mega Volt before she leapt out. “Fish—1; Liquidator and Mega Volt—0.” She peeled Darkwing off the wall as Liquidator splashed Mega Volt and caused him to short out.

“Hello, Neptunia,” Darkwing said. “Thanks for the assistance.”

Though woozy, Liquidator regained consciousness. “Blast you, fish! I’m going to make you wish you didn’t have gills.”

Darkwing grabbed a bag of quick-drying concrete out of his suit. “I’m going to make you, Liquidator, wish that you weren’t made of water.” Darkwing ripped open the concrete bag and dumped the concrete on Liquidator.

“Not concrete!” Liquidator hardened up and, soon, could not move at all.

“That’s what I call a hardened criminal.”

Bushroot was getting hasty. “Yaah! Get ’im, Spike.”

Spike went to ‘get’ Darkwing. Darkwing and Neptunia got into a corner as Spike closed in. Near the corner was a window that Darkwing cautiously opened.

“What will we do now, Darkwing?” Neptunia asked.

“This calls for a doggie bone,” said Darkwing. He removed a bone from his cape.

“A doggie bone? How’s that going to help?”

“You’ll see. Spike, fetch!” Spike was drooling for the bone. Darkwing tossed it out through the window. Spike leapt outside in pursuit of the bone, and then Darkwing promptly closed the window. “Now, for you, you low-life legume.” Darkwing approached Bushroot, aiming his Gas Gun at the vegetable. “Suck weed-killer gas, evil-doer.” Darkwing knocked Bushroot out of commission with a weed-killer gas pellet.

“You don’t fight—” Bushroot began before he lost consciousness.

“You know, for an idiot, you’re awfully darn smart, Darkwing,” said Neptunia.

“Thanks, I think,” Darkwing said. “Let’s take these larcenous villains to police headquarters.”

“You’ve got it, Darkwing.”

* * *

“It may have been strange for me to thank Neptunia for her help,” Darkwing told the news recorder. “Well, in this case, I felt most appreciative. In any other case, I’d have normally rejected any help. At this point, I was becoming more comfortable sharing the spotlight with my friends.

“The next part of the case is not really my doing. I include it here for clarity. It involves an independent group of super-heroes, the Rescue Rangers. Who are they, you may ask? Well, they are two chipmunks, two mice, and one fly. Strange team, you might think, but nevertheless they are highly effective. Unfortunately, due to their small size, their deeds often go unnoticed. I hope to rectify that oversight.

“The other reason this part is included is because one of their arch‑rivals, Professor Norton Nimnul, a crazy scientist, soon became one of my foes. It was a quiet night in the Rescue Rangers’ hometown. Nimnul was planning to use optical devices to blind everyone in the city. He was about ready to implement his fiendish plan when the Rescue Rangers’ scientist, Gadget, found out about his plan. She knew that Nimnul was behind the mysterious disappearance of traffic lights, although Mega Volt might have also had the warped mind to do it.”

* * *

May 20.

Nimnul’s Lab and House.

In his home, an observatory on the outskirts of the city, Nimnul was working on his latest dastardly piece of equipment. The insane scientist, a toon human, wore a white lab coat and glasses, and he was not much more than a meter tall. He laughed as he hooked some wires together. “I’ve almost finished. Soon, I’ll turn on the Optic-Overloader Ray and blind everyone in the city. Not even those Rescue Rodents will be able to stop me this time.”

The Rescue Rangers—Chip, Dale, Monterey Jack, Zipper, and Gadget—were watching from an air conditioner duct. “If that madman activates that optic equipment of his, the super-strong light will blind everyone in the city,” Gadget said. She was a bipedal toon-mouse with a blue outfit, and she had a long tail.

“We have to stop him,” said Chip. He was a toon-chipmunk a little taller than Gadget. He wore a brown outfit with a brown hat, like any other self-respecting private detective.

“Yeah, Chip, but how?” Dale asked. Chip’s constant companion, Dale was much the same size as Chip, and he wore a red T‑shirt with yellow spots.

“Gadget, how quickly can you whip up a device that will counteract the powers of Nimnul’s ray?”

“About a minute,” Gadget said. “Actually, fifty-eight and a half seconds will suffice.”

“Then the rest of us will get down there and distract Nimnul to give you enough time.”

“Rescue Rangers, away!” they all cried. Chip, Dale, Monterey, and Zipper left the duct to the left while Gadget left to the right. Monterey, a dark-skinned toon mouse with a mustache, was taller than the others, and a bit fatter too, and he wore a traveling jacket and goggles. Zipper was a small, green fly. Gadget went to a worktable where she could see the parts she needed for the device. The other four went toward Nimnul.

Nimnul finished hooking up the wires for his device. “There. That’s it. Now, to activate the primary power. Hoo, hoo, ha, ha!” He pressed a few buttons on his remote control. A robotic hand with male electric plugs in the palm reached down from the device and entered an electrical socket. The power from the rest of the city was siphoned off while Nimnul’s device powered up and prepared for action.

With disturbed laughter, he pressed more buttons on his remote. “Now, I have only to press a button, and the device will concentrate all of its power and blast a powerful beam of light across the city for ten minutes. That will be sufficient time for at least half of the town to get blinded. Then, tomorrow night, I’ll shine light for ten more minutes! Then, the entire city will be blind, and I can do whatever I want.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gadget approaching the parts on his lab table. “What? Oh, drat, it’s one of those Rescue Rangers. The inventor! Well, I’ll show her a thing or two.” Nimnul went over to his table and grabbed for Gadget, who darted away. With his next grab, though, Nimnul got her. “Well, Rescue Rodent! Your friends had better not be coming around here tonight, or I’m getting a cat.”

He got out a mousetrap and baited it with Brie ’86, Monterey Jack’s favorite cheese. “There! Now, your fat pal will be irresistibly drawn to the aroma of this cheese.” He tied up Gadget and put her next to the mousetrap on the table. “And, as for the other three, I’ll deal with them.” Chip and Dale approached Nimnul with sharpened pencils and poked his heels. “Yow!” Nimnul turned around. When he tried to grab Chip and Dale, he tripped because Monterey Jack had just tied his shoelaces together. Chip and Dale distracted Nimnul while Monterey freed Gadget.

“Thanks, Monterey,” Gadget said. “For once, you weren’t lured by the power of cheese.”

“P’raps not, but why let some good Brie ’86 go to waste?” Monterey intoned in his Australian accent. He sprang the trap nimbly with his tail and caught the cheese when it flew out of the trap. He put it away for his dining pleasure later.

Furious, Nimnul finally grabbed Chip and Dale. “You two will be very sorry for this incident, Chip and Dale. If it weren’t for my device that allowed me to understand the language of animals, I would never have found out that you Rescue Rangers were the ones who kept foiling my plans. Well, you’ll have a first-hand view of what I’m doing to the city tonight.” He put Chip and Dale, tied up, on a table next to his periscope-type telescope that gave him a perfect view of the city. He peered through this telescope, his remote in hand. He was unaware that Gadget was working on her device.

The mad scientist tittered with laughter. “When I push this button, people will go blind in the streets. Cars will crash all over town. And that’s just the start of the fun. Time for some serious devastation!” He pressed a button on the remote. A canopy opened in the top of the observatory, and the business end of his fiendish device extended through this canopy and pointed directly toward the city. “Now, let us turn up the luminous levels dramatically. Hoo, hoo, hoo!” He pressed the same button. A light turned on. This light was dark red, but it would increase in intensity to a bright white light within one minute.

“Everything is proceeding as planned,” Nimnul said, rubbing his hands together. “They called me mad. They called me nuts. They called me loony! And, boy, were they right. But, now, my genius is about to make all the unbelievers sorry. My pal, Moliarity, will be awfully darned proud of me for making this city just as blind as his mole-men. Hee, hee, hee!” Just before the light turned bright, blinding white, a dark ray shone underneath it, and normal luminous levels returned. “What? Oh, it’s that Gadget. She’s causing interference!”

“Monterey, take this wrench and toss it at that leg on Nimnul’s device,” Gadget said.

Monterey Jack grabbed a wrench. “My pleasure, love.” Monterey tossed the wrench smack in the middle of the leg on Nimnul’s device. The power to the device was cut off, and the device tipped over and crashed on Nimnul.

“Stopped by a bunch of rodents,” Nimnul moaned. “I am loony!”

Police ran into the room suddenly. “Well, hello, Nimnul,” said one policeman, a tall, black man with a moustache. “Stopped by one of your inventions again, eh? I knew we saw a bright light.”

Gadget and Monterey went over to free Chip and Dale.

“It must have been from the device on top of him,” another policeman said. He was shorter and leaner than his partner, and he wore his hat so that it nearly covered his eyes.

“Police!” Nimnul cried. “Get me out of here. Those rodents stopped me again.”

“He’s talking about those mice again,” the black officer said.

“It’s true! Get me out of here before they come back and kill me.”

“It’s the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains for you, Professor Nimnul,” the shorter man said. They hefted the device off of Nimnul and seized him.

“Anything! Just get me out of here. Please!”

“He certainly is crazy.”

* * *

“When I interrogated Nimnul, I found that I believed his story,” Darkwing said. “Therefore, I visited that city and knocked on the door of the Rescue Rangers. I understood everything they told me when they told me. They even gave me a file of the case. Of course, I needed a microscope to read it.

“The capture of the next villain took place in Duckburg. This time, it was that thieving thespian, Tuskerninni. He was staging a criminal farce to get the money of multi-quintillionaire Scrooge McDuck. At least GizmoDuck did not get on my case about my getting on his turf. Anyway, had I not decided to drop in—and I am not being egotistical this time—Tuskerninni would right now own the largest mass of money this side of the Queen of England. Time to zoom in and see what GizmoDuck and I did. It began as a usual day for him.”

* * *

May 27.

Scrooge McDuck’s Money Bin.

Stationed outside the mammoth cube structure known as the Money Bin, GizmoDuck was on guard duty as his boss, Scrooge McDuck, arrived in his limo. He opened the limo door to let Scrooge out. “Good morning, Mr. McDuck.” When unsuited, GizmoDuck was Fenton Crackshell, a lean toon-duck about Darkwing’s height, and he wore an office suit because he was an accountant. His sole qualification for the accounting job was his ability to accurately and very swiftly count objects.

However, as GizmoDuck, he had metal armor. He wore a silver-colored suit with black hands and a single thick tire for forward and backward propulsion. His helmet had purple shades that served as a mask and as a vision enhancement device. A GD logo was in the middle of his suit’s chest. Only his beak and neck showed. In this suit, he was a little taller than Launchpad. GizmoDuck was a security guard at the Money Bin, which truly contained the largest mass of monetary wealth on the planet. Every penny had been earned fairly and squarely by its owner. And this was nothing compared to how much money Scrooge had in stocks.

“Good morning, GizmoDuck,” Scrooge greeted. “I trust that everything’s in order?” Scrooge McDuck was also about as tall as Darkwing. He wore a high-quality blue coat and a sleek black top-hat with a red band, and he always carried a cane, though he did not need it.

“Yes, everything is well in order. No one’s getting by me. Where are your nephews and Webby?”

“They’ve gone downtown to do some shopping and play video games with their friends.”

“Just be glad that that knave, Quacker Jack, didn’t hear you say that. He’d be quite upset. He’d set his army of toy teeth on you. Of course, I’d stop him, first.”

“Oh, I doubt that’s necessary. He’s from Saint Canard, all the way across Audubon Bay. By the way, how was your visit with Darkwing Duck to stop Mega Volt from conquering the city?”

“Well, as usual, the conceited Darkwing Duck did help me, after some of my intense patience. That cad, Mega Volt, defeated me by magnetizing my suit, but Darkwing sure showed him a thing or two.”

“Well, keep up the good work with guarding the bin, GizmoDuck.”

“Yes, Mr. McDuck.” Scrooge McDuck entered the Money Bin to work in his office on the top floor, next to the vault. His butler, Duckworth, waved to GizmoDuck, then drove Scrooge’s limo back home. Scrooge normally called Duckworth to return home at the end of the day.

Suddenly, Darkwing Duck appeared out of a puff of smoke!

“Halt, you—Darkwing! What are you doing here?”

“Howdy, Giz,” Darkwing said. “Don’t take all my worrying about you getting on my turf too seriously. It’s sort of a problem with my ego. Anyway, I came to tell you about a potential robbery.”

“A robbery? By whom?”

“By that thieving thespian, Tuskerninni.”

“Impossible! I thought you put him behind bars a few weeks ago.”

“Unfortunately, according to the newspaper, he has just broken out. The paper said that he left a message in his cell. I investigated the cell and found this message.” He pulled a small sheet of paper out of his pocket. “It says, ‘Darkwing Duck, if you are trying to stop me again, beware. I shall do away with a metallic do‑gooder and enter a vault containing vast amounts of wealth in an adjacent city.’ Now, my incredible sense of deduction tells me that the ‘metallic do‑gooder’ is you and that the ‘vault containing vast amounts of wealth’ is this place. I put two and two together, and this place is obviously four.”

“Very good, Darkwing. I’ll allow you to help me. I am not an egotist.”

“Right. Now, I’m going to hide. Call out if Tuskerninni attacks.”

“Right‑o, Darkwing. You can count on me.” Darkwing blasted a pellet out of his Gas Gun and disappeared.

In nearby shrubs, Alwalro Tuskerninni was hiding. He was a fat toon-walrus about Mega Volt’s height. He was bipedal, unlike standard walruses. He had two tusks, and he wore a tuxedo. His three companions were short penguins. “Excellent,” he whispered. “This is the perfect stage for my latest caper. I’ll get rid of GizmoDuck, and then we’ll enter and take control of the vault when McDuck opens the door. Oh, I’m such a theatrical genius. As for Darkwing Duck, I think that he will be most surprised when he finds himself holding the bag for the crime.”

Darkwing was hiding nearby, where he could hear every word. Aha, Darkwing thought to himself. So, he’s thinking about framing me. Well, I’ll get a frame and frame him! Someone tapped his back. He turned around. “Hello? Oh, it’s you.”

“You’ve got it, Darkwing,” said Neptunia a bit too cheerfully.

Darkwing clamped her mouth shut. “A little less volume, please,” he whispered. “I’m trying to help GizmoDuck capture Tuskerninni before that theatrical show-off robs the Money Bin.”

She turned her head and noticed the walrus. “Can I help?” she asked quietly when he released her.

“No, you—why, yes, you can at that! Get me a frame, two and a half feet by two and a half feet with a sheet of paper in it.”

“Why?”

“If you do, I’ll let you frame Tuskerninni.”

Neptunia could barely restrain her laughter. “All right, Darkwing. Two and a half feet by two and a half feet. Got it. See you later.” She left.

“Now, let’s hope she gets back with that frame soon.” He watched diligently as Tuskerninni assembled a device. What the devil is that madman doing?

Tuskerninni put the device together with his penguins’ aid. “That’s it. When we finish rebuilding this electroshocker, we’ll have the perfect weapon against that tin can, GizmoDuck. Ha, ha, ha!”

“He’s going to shock GizmoDuck? Time to get dangerous.” Darkwing disappeared in a poof of smoke.

When it was complete, the device looked cleverly like a camera. “Excellent. The conclusion of this drama is really going to come as a shock to GizmoDuck. Places, everyone!” Tuskerninni cautiously moved in. His three penguins moved so as to cut off GizmoDuck.

“That duck, offering his assistance,” GizmoDuck said reflectively. “He’s not a really bad egg after all.” Tuskerninni’s penguins appeared nearby. “Penguins? I don’t believe that Spheniscus is a common genus around here.” They began setting up several props. “What the dickens? Gad‑zooks. This must be Tuskerninni’s gang.”

Tuskerninni, poorly disguised as Mega Volt, came with his camera. “You’re wrong,” Tuskerninni said. “I’m Mega Volt, the shockingest cad in the cinema—ah, I mean, in the world. And this is my gang of electric penguins.”

GizmoDuck smiled. “The newspaper says that Mega Volt is still in prison, Tuskerninni, and Mega Volt’s skinnier than these penguins. Your disguise does not fool me.” GizmoDuck pressed a button that activated his arsenal of bad-guy booby-traps. “Darkwing Duck, here’s Tuskerninni!” Neptunia ran onto the scene, panting.

Darkwing’s smoke appeared. “I am the terror that flaps in the night.”

“Oh, no,” Tuskerninni moaned. “It’s that wretched duck.”

“I am the foul‑up that causes you, when in fifteen and a half minutes recording time of a sixteen-minute scene, to have to do a complete re‑take.”

“Ooh! That would really smart.”

The smoke dissipated, and Darkwing stood in front of Tuskerninni. “I am Darkwing Duck. Eww! What a horrible Mega Volt disguise, Tuskerninni.”

“I am not Tuskerninni, and this is an excellent disguise!”

Darkwing drew his Gas Gun. “Save it for Mega Volt, Bushroot, and Liquidator, Tuskerninni. You’re going to the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains. Neptunia, now!”

“With pleasure,” said Neptunia, causing Tuskerninni to whirl in surprise. She leapt up and thrust the frame down so that it pinned Tuskerninni’s arms against his body tightly. The camera fell out of his hands, crashed on the ground, and broke, revealing the electroshocker within.

“If I weren’t around, GizmoDuck, you’d be sucking that electroshocker,” Darkwing said.

GizmoDuck gulped. “Thanks for the help, DW. Now, villain, it’s the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains for you.” GizmoDuck pressed a button on his suit that caused two hands to come out of the helmet of the suit and put a straitjacket on Tuskerninni.

The penguins tried to make a getaway, but Darkwing spotted them. “Suck lasso-gas, penguins.” Darkwing blasted a gas pellet at the three penguins. The pellet hit the center one, and the gas engulfed all three of them. When the gas dissipated, they saw that a rope in the gas pellet had tied up the three penguins. “Good work, guys. Glad you got that order right, Neptunia.”

“I got the most inexpensive one,” Neptunia said. “I had the ninety-nine cents it took to get the frame. Good thing it was so cheap, because the picture is awful.”

“True.”

“Oh, the terrible twist of fate,” Tuskerninni moaned. “Once the greatest movie director in Duckywood, now reduced to cheap insults.”

“If you keep talking, you’ll suffer more insults,” Darkwing said. “Now, to make a call to the police.”

“I have a free phone in my suit.” GizmoDuck pressed a button, and a phone came out of his suit. He phoned the police. “Hello, police? Yes, this is GizmoDuck. The notorious Tuskerninni and his band of three penguins have just been apprehended near McDuck’s Money Bin. . . . Okay, I’ll drop them by.” He hung up. “They want me to bring them to the station, Darkwing.”

“Okay. I’ll be getting back to Saint Canard. And you, Neptunia?”

“I was thinking about that myself,” Neptunia said.

“The ThunderQuack is parked nearby. You can hitch a ride with Launchpad and me. See you later, Giz.”

“Tah-tah, Darkwing. Until we meet again.”

“Until next time.” Darkwing and Neptunia boarded the ThunderQuack. Launchpad flew them back to Darkwing Tower on the Audubon Bay Bridge.

* * *

“You might think that the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains was getting overcrowded,” Darkwing said. “Actually, the only ones there at the time we left off were Mega Volt, Liquidator, Bushroot, Professor Norton Nimnul, and Tuskerninni. Of course, being the consummate superhero, I wanted to get more super villains in there. My next target was Moliarity.”

* * *

July 29.

Underneath Saint Canard.

In his underground lair, Moliarity was addressing his evil subjects. He had found yet another evil way to bring himself and his people to the surface. Moliarity was about Nimnul’s height, and he wore an office suit. He and his subjects, who worshipped him merely because he had more intelligence than the rest of his entire race combined, were toon-moles. “People of the underground, it is finally time to escape these black tunnels and achieve domination over the world above,” Moliarity said. “I have found a way to rid the world of that do‑gooding crime-fighter, Darkwing Duck. Any questions so far?”

“I have one, Your Extreme Intelligence,” one mole asked.

“Yes, what is it?”

“How shall we accomplish such a feat?”

“Excellent question. I was just about to explain.”

“Oh. Sorry, sir.”

“That’s okay. You gave me a good segue. You see, we shall get rid of that do-gooder by assembling Tuskerninni, Dr. Reginald Bushroot, Liquidator, Steelbeak, Mega Volt, and myself. We shall try our hand at creating some more evil-doers. When we are done, our evil forces combined will take the entire city and squash it like an overripe tomato.” There was an uproar of moles clapping their hands and cheering. “Now, now, my loyal friends, hold your applause. We first must get to the surface and find our potential allies. We must then get them to join forces with us and help us finish off the city. Oh, I’m such a genius.”

Darkwing Duck’s smoke appeared, accompanied by his voice. “I am the terror that flaps in the night.”

“Oh, no! I’m not ready yet.” Moliarity got some pieces out of his desk drawer and started assembling a device as Darkwing’s smoke cleared.

“I am the light that clears the shadow and reveals the crime. I am Darkwing Duck! You’re finished, Moliarity.”

Moliarity finished his cannon-like device and aimed it at Darkwing. “You’ve ruined my plans too many times, Dimwit Dope. You’re not going to ruin them anymore.” Moliarity fired. Darkwing leapt out of the way. “No fair! Jumping is cheating.”

Darkwing withdrew his Gas Gun from his cape. “Suck gas, evildoer.” Darkwing blasted a gas pellet at Moliarity. It burst in front of Moliarity, causing him to go bonkers into a laughing fit.

Amid his laughter, Moliarity dropped his gun. “That’s not fair. I’ll still—ha, ha, ha!—beat you, Darkmeat Dope.”

“My, it is a pity how some people cannot get control of themselves,” Darkwing said. He turned to an imaginary audience. “Notice my advantage over my adversary. He’s laughing his rear off irresistibly while I’m keeping my cool.” Darkwing fired his grappler-gas at the ledge above Moliarity. The Gas Gun pulled him up to the ledge. He then took a strong rope out of his cape and tied up Moliarity.

“You’re cheating,” Moliarity said, still laughing without control. “You—ha, ha!—do‑gooding reject from a cheap cartoon. I’ll get you. Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

“Launchpad,” Darkwing called.

Launchpad came in. “Yes sir, DW?”

“It’s time to take Moliarity, here, to the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains.”

“It’ll be a pleasure, DW.”

* * *

“That was too easy,” Darkwing laughed. “Any idiot would have been able to do that. When I had come home, I learned that GizmoDuck was back in town because he’d heard that Steelbeak, that tin-beaked rooster, had also formed a tingling plot. You see, Steelbeak still wanted revenge on me, because he claims that I blasted his beak off. However, it was his bomb, and he lit it.”

* * *

(July 29.)

Drake Mallard’s House.

At Darkwing’s home, he and Launchpad arrived on the spinning chairs. Darkwing had changed clothes to his secret identity, suburbanite Drake Mallard. Gosalyn, Darkwing’s adopted daughter, was watching TV. She turned to Drake and Launchpad as they entered. “Hello, Dad. How did it go? Catch Moliarity as planned?”

“Yeh, yeh, yeh. He wasn’t any match for me.” Someone knocked on the door. “Could you get that, Gos?”

“Yes, sir, Dad.” She went to the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Honk,” called Honker Muddlefoot from outside. Gosalyn opened the door to let him in. “I have to speak to Mr. Mallard right away, Gos.”

“What is it, Honker?” Drake asked.

“GizmoDuck’s back in town.”

“Why, that bucket of bolts. People may say that Darkwing Duck is self-centered, but GizmoDuck has an ego that’s out of control. I had to be at the Money Bin to prevent him from being blasted to bits by Tuskerninni. That crazy Fenton Crackshell must be around, too. He always seems to be around when GizmoDuck’s around.”

“Er, since I worked for Mr. McD myself, DW, I know a certain secret about Gizmo’s identity,” Launchpad said.

“I don’t expect you to answer, but who is GizmoDuck’s secret identity?”

“I can’t go telling you, Drake. Not until you tell Fenton that you are you-know-who.”

“Okay, but why should I?”

“If I told you first, you might not tell Fenton who Drake Mallard is. Then, I would have to tell Fenton that Darkwing Duck and Drake Mallard were one and the same. It would sound much better to each of you if I weren’t the go-between.”

“Okay, Launchpad. I’ll tell him.” Someone knocked at the door again. “I wonder who that is.”

“I’ll get it.” Launchpad opened the door. It was Darkwing’s girlfriend, Morganna McCawber. A very lean sorceress, she was almost as tall as Launchpad. She wore a red dress, and she had black hair on her head. “Well, good day, Morg. How are you?”

“I’m really sorry, but we haven’t time for such niceties, Launchpad,” she said. “I must speak with Darkwing Duck or Drake Mallard.”

“Whoa,” Drake said. “I mean, ah, hello, Morganna. How are you?”

“Listen, Drake, my powers have discovered that Steelbeak is planning to free Mega Volt, Tuskerninni, Moliarity, Liquidator, and Bushroot from the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains.”

“He’s planning to do what? Thanks! Come on, everyone. Let’s get dangerous. To Darkwing Tower. We haven’t a moment to lose.”

* * *

“We came here, to the Darkwing Tower. I changed dress to the terror that flaps in the night just before we entered, we pulled up our surveillance of F.O.W.L.’s records for the past thirty-six hours, and we made a startling discovery.”

* * *

Darkwing Tower.

In Darkwing Tower, the high roost for Darkwing Duck, the heroes Darkwing, Morganna, Launchpad, Gosalyn, and Honker had finished pulling F.O.W.L.’s records for the past thirty-six hours. They then searched the data and found what they had been looking for: a recording of F.O.W.L. High-Command giving their most wicked orders ever to Agent Steelbeak. “Let’s watch this entire communication,” Darkwing said. “We’ll probably find something useful.”

Near the end of the recording, F.O.W.L. High-Command communicated with Agent Steelbeak. Steelbeak was a fat toon-chicken about Launchpad’s height and with a steel beak. He had a white suit. The leaders were silhouettes, but neither of them appeared straight‑on or from the side.

Vulture-leader: “Ah, good day, Agent Steelbeak. How is everything?”

Steelbeak: “Just great, High-Command. I’m ready for your wicked orders.”

Vulture-leader: “Agent Steelbeak, you are to go to the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super-Villains.”

Steelbeak: “Aw, gee, High-Command. I don’t want to get arrested.”

Duck-leader: “Don’t get apprehensive. Being arrested is not the way we wish you to enter. If that happens, you won’t be able to carry out your mission. No. You are supposed to enter the prison without alerting the warden’s attention, and then you must free Mega Volt, Tuskerninni, Moliarity, Bushroot, and Liquidator. Have you any questions?”

Steelbeak: “Hey, I’ll bet that you don’t call me your leading agent for nothing. But, say, what if Darkwing Duck intervenes? He’s always trying to catch me.”

Vulture-leader: “Agent Steelbeak, you’ve undergone unscrupulous agony with that cursed duck. He’s even the one who blasted off your real beak.”

Steelbeak: “I’ll say. If it weren’t for him, I’d still be able to feel my beak. Then again, this isn’t such a terrible beak after all—except in the rain. I’ll get into that place. I’ll get out Mega Volt, Tuskerninni, Moliarity, Liquidator, and Bushroot. And I’ll have Darkwing’s hide for what he did to me.”

Duck-leader: “Please try to control your emotions, Agent Steelbeak. We want to be around when you yourself have the extreme pleasure of removing Darkwing Duck’s mask.”

Steelbeak: “Hey! Is there some law that says he has to be alive for me to do it? Steelbeak over and out.”

Darkwing Duck shut off the tape machine. “So it appears that Steelbeak is in this case. Big deal. I can still deal with that fatso.”

“Gee, DW, you sure made him mad when you blasted off his beak,” Launchpad said.

“So, it was his fault. I had no other choice. It was either his beak or mine. It ended up being his. Besides, if he hadn’t lit that bomb, he would still have his beak.”

GizmoDuck flew in through the window using propellers on his helmet. “Hey, Darkwing!”

Darkwing sighed, stifling an unwelcoming remark. “Hi, Giz. How are you?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. And yourself?”

“Okay. Mega Volt, Tuskerninni, Moliarity, Bushroot, and Liquidator are still in the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super-Villains in the middle of the bay.”

“That is why I dropped by, Darkwing. Mr. McDuck told me to come by because he’d heard from an anonymous tip that someone will soon be trying to burst the five out.”

“Someone certainly is planning on letting them out: F.O.W.L. Agent Steelbeak.”

“Steelbeak? The cad. Well, then, we should stop him.”

Darkwing sprang out of his chair. “What is this ‘we’?”

“Well, shouldn’t we try to stop him together?”

“There you go with that ‘we’ again. This megalopolis is—well, I guess that it is large enough for more than one superhero, especially when dealing with the abilities of Mega Volt, Steelbeak, Liquidator, Dr. Reginald Bushroot, Tuskerninni, and Moliarity combined. As soon as we beat them, though—”

“I know, I know. As soon as we fix them, you want me to beat it.”

“Well, not exactly beat it. More like, I want you to return triumphantly to Duckburg.”

“I got you! That sounds swell.”

“Morganna, look for Stegmutt. GizmoDuck, look for Neptunia. We shall reunite in order to become the Justice Ducks Team once more. I’ll try to stall Agent Steelbeak. Let’s get dangerous.” He disappeared in a cloud of smoke. GizmoDuck pressed the button that formed his helmet-copter and flew away. Morganna transported away magically, along with Eek the bat, Squeak the (other) bat, and Archie the spider, her helpful little creepy critters.

* * *

“So, we left to valiantly trounce that tin-beaked rooster, Steelbeak,” Darkwing narrated. “I went to the prison. Little did I know then about Liquidator’s wicked plan.” Darkwing leapt up and pulled down a great poster showing the Liquidator’s head, Liquidator having a smile that was completely evil. “Now, you might be wondering what the mind of Liquidator is like.”

Launchpad came to Darkwing. “Actually, I was thinking about having a cheeseburger.” Darkwing threw him an angry glare. “Uh, but your idea sounds much better, DW.”

“Kids, don’t try this at home.” Darkwing snapped his fingers, and Liquidator’s ear-flap flipped up, allowing entrance for Darkwing and Launchpad. Darkwing turned on a light. Within, they saw orderly rows of sinks with shiny faucets. “Whoa. If this place isn’t as organized as all get-out.”

“Well, it’s sure got a lot of faucets.”

“Do you remember when we went into Binky Muddlefoot’s, Mega Volt’s, and my brains, Launchpad? Liquidator’s brain is similar. These faucets are like those doors.”

“How about his little hero?”

“This faucet over here.”

A very small knight on a horse was tied to one of the faucets. “Help me! Help me! Help me!” the knight kept crying in a tiny voice.

“Ah—okay. Now that we’ve seen what Liquie’s brain is like, let’s get back to the story,” said Darkwing. He pulled down a scene with the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super Villains. “The High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super-Villains sits upon an island in the middle of Audubon Bay, equally as far from Saint Canard and Duckburg. The villains were getting a trifle upset—okay, okay, very upset—with their surroundings and their current situation.”

* * *

High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super-Villains.

At the High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super-Villains, a prison created by the secret organization SHUSH—a crime-busting organization so secret that no one knew what the acronym represented—Dr. Reginald Bushroot and Liquidator were watering the plants. “This is no way to treat an intelligent botanist,” whined Bushroot. “Although I do like being kind to plants.”

Liquidator ceased his watering. “Are you kidding? This is no way to treat the top-of-the-line product-maker, the Liquidator. I tell you, Bushroot, we’ve got to come up with some fool-proof, guaranteed way to break out of this dump.”

Tuskerninni and Mega Volt came over to them. “How true, Liquidator,” Tuskerninni said. “In some way, we’ve got to stage a scene to get us out of here.”

“How revolting,” said Mega Volt. “I, the incredible Mega Volt, am forced to waste my incredible wattage on prison labor and on scaring crows.” A crow flew down near the corn plants. Mega Volt blasted it with his wicked wattage. With a squawk, the crow flew away. “Beat it, crow! I definitely do agree, guys, that we have to get out of here.”

An officer opened the gates and showed in Moliarity. “I know my darned rights already,” Moliarity protested.

“Just make sure you don’t play with the explosives, all right?” the officer said.

“Right, sir. Mad scientists just can’t have any fun anymore.”

When the officer had shut the door, Mega Volt approached the mole. “Moliarity! What are you doing here?”

“Guess.”

“I am so positive of who it was, I would guarantee it,” Liquidator said. “It was Darkwing Duck’s fault, right?”

“Right,” said Moliarity. “A super-genius like me shall not settle for such surroundings. We need to get out of here.”

“I second the motion,” Bushroot said.

“The Liquidator says, ‘I third the motion,’ ” Liquidator said.

“I fourth it,” Tuskerninni said.

“I fifth it,” said Mega Volt.

“F.O.W.L. will probably send their greatest agent, Steelbeak, to free us,” Moliarity said. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

“Neither can I,” Liquidator said. “I bunk with a loco man named Professor Norton Nimnul. He’s an intelligent scientist, but I think his brain is more frazzled than Darkwing Duck’s. He keeps complaining about four small rodents and a fly who keep ruining his plans.”

“Professor Norton Nimnul?” asked Moliarity.

“You know him?”

“Yes! He and I went to the same school for mad scientists. He once told me that he kept having trouble with a certain group of five vermin that call themselves the ‘Rescue Rangers.’ ”

“Yes, that’s it. I now remember. Norton Nimnul! Remember that F.O.W.L.-sponsored school we all went to to learn all about becoming villains?”

“Yes,” Mega Volt said. “I was already a villain then, but I had much to learn. Let’s see. There was you, Liquidator. There were also Bushroot, Quacker Jack, Steelbeak, Moliarity, Tuskerninni, Norton Nimnul, and I. I recall also that Moliarity and Nimnul went to a school for mad scientists afterwards.”

“That’s right,” said Moliarity.

“Let’s just find a way to get out of here,” Bushroot said. “I don’t get enough sunlight in this prison.”

“Hey,” Liquidator said. “I just got a plan. Listen up.”

Before they could start talking, however, an officer shoved Professor Norton Nimnul into the area. “Listen, Norton Nimnul, get in here,” the officer ordered. “You can’t play with the explosives.”

“I tell you, this is no way to treat a mad scientist,” Nimnul said. “And address me as Professor Norton Nimnul.”

The officer closed and locked the door. “Yeah, right, Professor. Just don’t make any trouble, or things will get hot for you.” Once he had satisfactorily sealed the door to the garden area, the officer left.

“I swear, if it weren’t for the Rescue Rangers, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Cheer up, Professor Nimnul,” Liquidator said. “The Liquidator has the number one, top of the line, quality plan to get all of us out of here without having Agent Steelbeak caught as well.”

“Yeah, right. I’ll believe it the minute we’re outside these walls. Hey! Is that you, Professor Moliarity?”

“It is, indeed, Professor Nimnul,” Moliarity said.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve been to that school for mad scientists, or since all us were at that school for villains.”

“I’ll say. Luckily, Darkwing Duck hasn’t caught up with Steelbeak and Quacker Jack yet. In fact, if it wasn’t for that blasted Darkwing Dope, I wouldn’t be in here. He just dropped me off a while ago.”

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the Rescue Vermin. Anyway, let’s hear the plan, Liquidator.”

“Yes,” Mega Volt said. “Let’s.”

“Okay,” said Liquidator. “Step one—”

* * *

Outside the prison stood Steelbeak and three F.O.W.L. Egg-Men, toon-ducks dressed in yolk-yellow suits and with shades over their eyes. “I’m still, like, anticipating how to burst our way in there,” Steelwill said. He snapped his fingers. “Wait a minute! That brochure F.O.W.L. distributed to all agents.” He reached into his inner coat pocket on the left and took out a brochure. He opened it up and found the following heading, which gave him an idea:

YOU GOT THE JAILHOUSE BLUES?

DON’T WORRY!

F.O.W.L. WILL GET YOU OUT THE MA BEAGLE WAY!

“Well, well, well. Heh, heh, heh! And I know the ‘Ma Beagle Way.’ Quick, boys, let’s get back to the yacht and make a chocolate cake.” The Egg-Men shrugged, but they did not question his order. They much preferred him in a cheerful mood.

Back at an egg-shaped yet perfectly seaworthy yacht with F.O.W.L. painted in red on the side, Steelbeak ordered his Egg-Men to make a cake. “Now, boys, I must add the final ingredient.” He went to the hold and came back with a bundle of dynamite, which he stuffed into the cake. “A bundle of dee-na-mee-tay. Heh, heh, heh! This will pass as an ordinary cake because of the special F.O.W.L. mix we’ve used. Now, let’s get up there and hand this cake over. The Liquidator will know what to do with it.”

Before approaching the gate, Steelbeak put on a disguise, which portrayed him as the Liquidator’s mother. “Now, to get in.” The Egg-Men hid as he knocked at the gate.

A uniformed toon-dog guard answered. “Hello, ma’am. Who are you?”

Steelbeak imitated a female voice. “I am the Liquidator’s mother. I brought him a cake.”

“Okay. We’ll have to inspect it first.”

“That’s perfectly all right.” They went up to an inspection room, where the guards examined the cake. Nothing was found inside it but the normal cake innards.

“Well, this looks fine. Come on, Mrs.—Mrs.—I didn’t catch your name.”

Steelbeak slipped into normal voice on the first word, then repeated in the imitation voice the rest of the sentence. “I—ahem, I am Mrs. Bud Flood, Senior, sir.”

“Well, come on, Mrs. Flood. It’s a wonder you still love your son, bad boy that he is.” The guard led her to the garden area. He called Liquidator. “Your mother, Liquidator.”

Liquidator almost instantly noticed that it was actually Steelbeak. “Well, hello, Mother. Officer, would you mind letting us talk alone for a minute?”

“Why not? I’ll give you two.” The guard let Steelbeak in. Once Steelbeak was inside, the guard shut the door and moved away from the cell. Steelbeak put the cake on a table and took his mask off.

“What the devil are you doing here, Steelbeak?” Liquidator asked in a whisper.

“I came to break you out, Liquidator. Inside this cake is a bundle of dynamite. My Egg-Men and I will be waiting below with a springboard on the southern side of the prison. All of you jump out a southern window after blowing it up and fall to the springboard.”

“I understand. Anything else I need to know?”

“Be careful.” Steelbeak made sure his disguise was still on well. He reprised his imitation voice. “We’re done, officer. I’m leaving the cake with my sweet puddle of water here.” The guard came across and proceeded to try to find the right key to open the door.

“I have a more devastating idea,” Liquidator whispered.

“What?” Steelbeak whispered back.

Liquidator extended water from his hands to the cake’s plate. “You’ll see.” Liquidator lifted the cake from the plate.

The guard came in. “Okay, ma’am. You said you were done?”

“Oh, we’re done, all right,” Liquidator said. “And you are done-for!” Liquidator bashed the officer in the face with the cake, knocking him out.

Steelbeak came out of his disguise. “Excellent idea, Liquidator. Heh, heh, heh!”

“Hey, guys,” Liquidator called. “Come here.” Mega Volt, Bushroot, Moliarity, Tuskerninni, and Nimnul came running.

“Excellent,” Mega Volt said. “You clobbered him.”

“Enough yakking,” said Bushroot. “Let’s just split like a banana.” Purple smoke formed in a nearby corner. “Uh, oh. It’s that duck!”

“I am the terror that flaps in the night,” Darkwing’s voice said said. “I am the waiter who gives you the wrong order when you’re in a really big hurry.” The purple-clad duck emerged from the miasma. “I am Darkwing Duck! Thought you could break your pals out of here, eh, Agent Steelbeak? Ha!”

“Well,” said Steelbeak. “Look whom the tide brought in: Dipwing Dolittle. Ha, ha, ha!”

“Very funny, you demented rooster.” Darkwing removed his Gas Gun from his cape. He aimed it at Steelbeak. “Now, suck gas, evildoers.”

Bushroot was obviously offended. “No way. I hate your gas. It makes my trees gag.”

Liquidator went over to Darkwing. “Are you tired of fighting crime without getting recognition? Are the reporters neglecting the importance of putting your name on the top of headlines for capturing us? Are you sick of not being as famous as GizmoDuck? Well, then, the Liquidator has the answer.” Liquidator transformed into a puddle. He then went under Darkwing Duck and transformed into a huge hand, lifting Darkwing into the air. “Take the Liquidator’s one-way trip to oblivion!” He tossed Darkwing out the window and then reformed to his normal shape. “That takes care of Darkwing Duck.”

“Excellent job, Liquie,” Steelbeak said.

“By any chance, Steelbeak, would that cake happen to have any dynamite in it?” Mega Volt asked.

“It most certainly does. It’s meant to be our ticket out of this joint.”

Mega Volt reached into the cake and pulled out the dynamite. “Good. Heh, heh, heh!” Using his sparks, Mega Volt lit the dynamite and tossed it toward the warden’s office. “Come on. Let’s beat it before that dynamite explodes.”

“The Liquidator has a way to do just that,” Liquidator said. “All of you grab onto me.” Mega Volt, Steelbeak, Bushroot, Moliarity, Tuskerninni, and Nimnul grabbed hold of him. Liquidator transformed the six of them into water and then broke them into the pipes. Before long, they burst out of the pipes and reformed where Steelbeak’s ship was. They then heard an explosion. “That takes care of Warden Waddlesworth.”

“Great going, guys,” Steelbeak said. “Good to see that the dynamite didn’t go to waste. Heh, heh, heh!”

Someone came up and tapped Liquidator on the shoulder. The watery dog turned around. “Yes? Oh, it’s you!”

Darkwing stood there, right soaking wet. “Right, you villain. I fell into the water and swam ashore. I figured out your plan, Liquidator.”

Liquidator was infuriated and half-boiling. “Did you figure this out, Darkwing Duck?” The waters around the island began to rise. “You six make a break for it. I’ll deal with Darkwing Duck.”

“The great breakout has been staged, and the mighty antagonistic protagonists are loose,” Tuskerninni said. “Now, let’s exit, stage right!” Mega Volt, Tuskerninni, Steelbeak, Moliarity, Bushroot, and Nimnul boarded the ship and left.

“Okay, Darkwing Duck. We’re all alone.”

Darkwing got a big bag of cement out of his cape. “Ha! I beat you before with cement.”

“Ah, but I’ve improved my body chemistry through experimentation. Now, your cement doesn’t soak into my body. It will just slide out harmlessly.”

Neptunia emerged from the sea. “Back off, Liquidator.”

“Well, if it isn’t the big mouth of the sea, Neptunia.”

“Ha, ha! Look who is talking about big mouths.” She leapt into the Liquidator and spun him out. Neptunia left Liquidator’s body just before he spun across the sea. “Hello again, Darkwing.”

“Hello again, Neptunia,” said Darkwing.

GizmoDuck came down with his helmet-copter. “Neptunia, we need your—oh! I see you’ve already gotten to Darkwing.”

“Yes, it sort of looks that way, GizmoDuck. Now, let’s get back to the city. There’s no telling what those baddies will do to the city.”

“Both of you grab onto me. I’ll fly us to Saint Canard.” Darkwing and Neptunia grabbed onto GizmoDuck. The helmet-copter came out of the top of his helmet, and he flew them all back to Saint Canard.

* * *

“Well, I sure didn’t feel like swimming ashore. As it turns out, I had already decided to go through with the plan. If nothing else, my pals could help me to trounce those baddies. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was about to get much worse than it already was.”

* * *

Darkwing Tower.

GizmoDuck, Darkwing, and Neptunia had returned to Darkwing Tower. “Listen, Darkwing, you took some hard hits back there at that prison,” GizmoDuck said.

“You don’t have to keep telling me,” Darkwing retorted.

“Darkwing Duck, I don’t know about you,” Neptunia said, “but I think we all should join up as the Justice Ducks again—although I’m not a duck. Together, we can crush Mega Volt, Liquidator, Bushroot, Tuskerninni, Steelbeak, and Moliarity. All in favor say aye. Aye!”

“Aye,” GizmoDuck said.

“Aye,” said Gosalyn.

“Aye,” Launchpad said.

Darkwing sighed. “Okay, okay. Aye. Who am I to stand in the way of democracy? As soon as Morganna finds Stegmutt, we’ll look for those felonious lawbreakers and kick them back where they belong: behind bars.” The phone rang. “Could you get that, LP?”

“Sure, Darkwing.” Launchpad answered the phone. “Yes, Darkwing Duck’s sidekick speaking. . . . Yes, sir! I’ll get him.” He covered the mouthpiece. “DW, it’s Director J. Gander Hooter.”

Darkwing received the receiver from Launchpad. “Thanks, LP.” He spoke into the receiver. “Hey, J. Gander. How are you doing? . . . Well, is that so? . . . We’ll be down there on the double. . . . Yes, we, J. Gander. GizmoDuck, Neptunia, Morganna, and Stegmutt are joining with me again to help me pounce those vile villains. . . . Okay. See you later.” Darkwing hung up. “Okay, guys. We have an appointment at SHUSH Central. Just let me make a note to Morganna first.” He wrote a note explaining to Morganna that they all had gone to SHUSH Central. Then, he left it on the table. “Done.”

“All right,” said GizmoDuck. “Let’s get dangerous.”

“That’s my line, GizmoDuck.”

“Then say it, for crying out loud.”

“Everyone, let’s get dangerous!”

* * *

Director Hooter’s Office, SHUSH Central.

Before long, the Justice Ducks were in Director Hooter’s office. J. Gander Hooter was a short toon owl with brown feathers, glasses, and an impeccable office suit. “So, Darkwing Duck, you and your friends will have to help stop Steelbeak, Mega Volt, Tuskerninni, Moliarity, Liquidator, Bushroot, and Professor Norton Nimnul from terrorizing the city,” Hooter said. “It’s very unusual for seven arch‑villains to team up. Dr. Sarah Bellum, come over here, please.”

Dr. Sarah Bellum went over to Hooter. She was a tall, lean toon-duck with geeky glasses and a lab coat. “Yes, Director?” she asked.

“Share with Darkwing’s team what you have found out that Moliarity and Professor Nimnul can do with their combined strength, please.”

“Yes, Director. Darkwing, I’m afraid that Professor Moliarity and Professor Nimnul can plan an ‘accident’ that will grant super powers to an already existing person.”

“Oh, dear,” Darkwing said.

“And there is one person in the city that just might make a good target. You see, with another device that they already have, they can also turn someone into a crazy, insane maniac.”

“I see. What’s the big deal?”

“Well, there is a man who went out of business because of Whiffle Boy, a video game. You know him: Quacker Jack.”

“Yes. His company was the Quacker Jack Toy Company, and he’s insanely upset about it going out of business—‘insane’ being the operative word. Yes, I’ve dealt with the maniac before. That wacko tried to sabotage the Whiffle Boy tournament. I stopped him, of course, but he got away. He was also in Negaduck’s Fearsome Five organization.”

“With their skills, Moliarity and Nimnul can transform him into a person who can create almost any kind of toy, lethal or not, almost instantly.”

“Dealing with this seems like a job for my team.” Morganna and Stegmutt entered through the door. “Morganna and Stegmutt.”

“I thought that I’d never find you, Dark,” Morganna said.

“I left a message at the tower.”

“I didn’t know where SHUSH Central was until just now. I found Stegmutt.”

“Hi, Darkwing,” Stegmutt said. He was about Steelbeak’s height. Stegmutt was a toon-duck who had been mutated to a green stegosaurus. He had spikes along his back, and he was bipedal. He only wore a pair of shorts.

“Hello, Stegmutt. Well, J. Gander, I guess that we shall be off. Dr. Bellum, may I please have a copy of your notes?”

Bellum handed him an optical disc. “Here, Darkwing.”

“Thank you. Justice Ducks, let’s get dangerous.”

“Just remember, Stegmutt and I aren’t ducks,” Neptunia said.

“I used to be,” said Stegmutt. Darkwing whisked them all away in a cloud of smoke.

* * *

In the ThunderQuack, the Justice Ducks soared over the city and sought the villains’ hideout. “Nothing yet, DW,” Launchpad said.

“Actually, I think that they may be hiding out near the Quacker Jack Toy Company,” GizmoDuck said.

“Why is that?” asked Darkwing.

GizmoDuck pointed out the right window. “Just call it a lucky guess.” Darkwing looked out the window and saw the villains next to the Quacker Jack toy company.

“Oh, yeah. LP, take us down.”

“Sure thing, DW.” Launchpad jerked the steering bar as far forward as possible.

“No!” Darkwing cried. “Not that fast!” Just before they crashed, Launchpad yanked the steering bar toward him and landed with all the wheels touching the ground. “Launchpad! You actually landed without crashing.”

“Oh, darn it. I knew that I shouldn’t have pulled up on the steering bar.”

Darkwing examined him as though he were strange. “Uh, right. Come on. Let’s all go.”

“Does that mean me too?” Gosalyn asked.

“No, Gosalyn, everyone except you. Yes, all of us!”

* * *

The villains waited outside Quacker Jack’s building for the insane villain to appear. “He should be here any minute now,” Liquidator said.

Darkwing’s voice came from a cloud of smoke. “Wrong personal pronoun, Liquidator. You mean that they should be here any moment now.”

“Oh, no,” Mega Volt moaned. “Not him again.”

“You mean them, you shocking cad. We are the terrors that flap in the night. We are the ugly, ingrown toenails on the feet of crime. We are the Justice Ducks.” The Justice Ducks appeared.

“Justice Ducks? Team up with them again? What a laugh.” He fell on his back and laughed hysterically.

“Oh, now I get it, Darkwing,” Steelbeak said. “You finally got tired of winning and have summoned the geek squad to help you lose.” He laughed.

“Au contraire, Steelbeak,” said GizmoDuck.

“I have just the thing for these do‑gooders,” Moliarity said. He got a tiny fan out of his pocket.

“Are you crazy?” Tuskerninni asked. “That wouldn’t blow a flea off the stage.”

“He’s a certified mad scientist, just like me,” said Nimnul. “Not to mention certifiable. That fan can pack some punch.”

“True,” Moliarity said. “Prepare to get blown away, Darkmeat Dope.” He switched the fan on. Almost immediately, it generated tornado-force winds. The Justice Ducks got blown away.

Darkwing screamed. “I’m really getting carried away!”

“You nut,” said Bushroot. “Don’t you remember that we need him for our scheme?”

“Of course he does,” Nimnul said. “Uh, don’t you, Mole?”

“Of course I do,” Moliarity said. “I wasn’t born yesterday. Darkwing always comes back.” Someone jumped him. “Aah! Who was that?”

“It was the master of disguise, Darkwing Duck,” Darkwing answered.

“Ooh, you addlepated Dimwit Dope.”

Bushroot saw the rest of the Justice Ducks behind Darkwing. “Yah! How did you guys do that?”

The door to the factory opened. Quacker Jack emerged into the night. “Yes? You wanted to see me, Liquidator? Oh, no. It’s that blasted Darkwing Duck again.”

“You know better than to tangle with me, Quacker Jack,” Darkwing said.

Quacker Jack grabbed the two parts of the object on his head connected to the bells. The object was shaped sort of like a pair of rabbit-ears. “Oh, you may have helped in stopping Liquidator’s plan to take over the world, but I say that you will be going now.” As he laughed, toy snapping teeth came to the door. “Troops, attack!”

Darkwing aimed his Gas Gun at Quacker Jack. “Suck tear gas, you felon.” He blasted Quacker Jack with a tear gas capsule. Quacker Jack started crying.

“Wah, hah, hah! You do‑gooding menace to evil.”

Moliarity rubbed his hands together. “Thank you, Darkwing Duck.”

“Yes,” Nimnul said. “Now we can improve his body with our new device.” Nimnul and Moliarity took two large parts of a device out of their pockets. They put their parts together into one master unit, which Nimnul used to blast the crying Quacker Jack.

Quacker Jack cried out as the energy engulfed him. A cloud of smoke blasted around him. He sprang up, laughing and bouncing. He found himself able to produce and control toys, as Liquidator controlled water, Mega Volt controlled electric appliances, and Bushroot controlled plants. “Oh, thank you, guys. Thanks for making me the new and improved Quacker Jack! Now, I can go to this year’s Whiffle Boy tournament and blast the winner into sawdust.”

“Yeah,” Steelbeak said. “Hearing the little brats cry would make me laugh almost as loud as you, Quacker Jack.”

“See you later, Darkwing-gator,” Liquidator said. He melted his body to a puddle of water. Then, he went under all members of Darkwing’s team, turned himself into a huge, watery hand, lifted them into the air, and tossed them and the ThunderQuack all the way back to Darkwing Tower. Liquidator reassumed his normal shape. “Have a nice trip. Thank you for using the new-and-improved Liquidator-brand propulsion system. It’s a real quickie!” He laughed.

“Let’s not just sit around,” Steelbeak said. “We’ll plan a wicked master plan at the hideout, which is in the penthouse of the tallest hotel in the city.”

“Excellent,” said Quacker Jack. “Get moving, guys. I have some evil toys to make.” Laughing, he bounced into the building slinky-style by jumping on his feet and hands. “See you later!”

“I think we turned him into a laughing fool,” Bushroot said.

“Maybe, Bushroot, but at least he’s laughing because of evil thoughts,” Nimnul said. “Just like me, sometimes.”

“Speaking of evil thoughts, I have an idea to bring back Negaduck,” Mega Volt said. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“They went to the Old Abandoned Power Plant Just Outside of Town,” Darkwing said. “ I found a clue—probably planted by one of them—that led me there. Little did I know that Mega Volt had continued his experiments with that confounded tron-splitter of his, and he’d discovered how to pull Negaduck back out of the Negaverse. Those villains didn’t realize, of course, that they were messing with the wrong duck.”

* * *

The Old Abandoned Power Plant Just Outside of Town.

The villains emerged from the F.O.W.L. SUV at the abandoned power plant. “Ah, here we are,” Mega Volt said. “I can just smell those stale electrons.”

Darkwing began materializing out of smoke. “I am the terror that flaps in the night.”

Mega Volt rubbed his hands together with sparks flying off his electric plug hat. “Well, if it isn’t Darkwing Duck.”

“I am the winged scourge that pecks at all evildoers’ nightmares. I am the huge pimple that forms when you have a really big date. I am Darkwing Duck, here to put an end to your criminal careers.”

“What happened to your pals, the Justice Wimps?” Steelbeak asked. “Got tired of them in a hurry, didn’t ya? Ha, ha, ha!”

“For your information, Steelbeak, I still happen to be affiliated with them. I just decided to make a small appearance.” Without warning, something snapped onto his foot. “Yow!” He leapt high in the air.

“What goes up must come down,” laughed Quacker Jack. Darkwing crashed on the ground in front of Quacker Jack. “Oh, my. I hurt the little ducky. He needed to be hurt! Ha, ha, ha!”

Mega Volt laughed. “Hello, Quacker Jack. To complete my plan, we must go inside.” The evildoers ran into the building.

Darkwing removed the snap teeth from his foot and sprang up. “Come back here, you felons.” He ran in after them.

The evildoers were climbing the stairs to the upper floor. “Keep him busy, Quacker Jack, until we need him,” Mega Volt said.

“Whatever you say, Mega Volt,” said Quacker Jack. He bounced back down in cartwheels and collided with Darkwing Duck, knocking the hero downstairs.

Up at the top of the stairs on a high platform, Mega Volt removed something from his pocket. “We need this, guys,” he said as he adjusted some settings on the small device. “You also are essential to my plot, Liquidator.”

“What is that?” Liquidator asked.

“It’s a pocket-size tron-splitter.” Mega Volt plugged the tron-splitter into an electric outlet at the top of the stairs.

Down at the bottom, Darkwing was getting to be a little too much for Quacker Jack to handle. “Steelbeak!” Quacker Jack cried. “Tuskerninni! Bushroot! I need a little help down here.”

“Tuskerninni and Bushroot, let’s give Quacker a hand,” Steelbeak said.

“Just stall him,” Mega Volt said. “He’s necessary. I want the darn duck up here when we finish setting up our operation.”

“Will do, Mega Volt.” Steelbeak, Tuskerninni, and Bushroot quickly descended the stairs. Darkwing whacked Quacker in the beak. Quacker Jack yelped.

“Ha,” Darkwing said. “It takes more than a clown, a rooster with a metal beak, a fat movie producer, and a mutated half-plant-half-duck to stop Darkwing Duck.”

The three engaged Darkwing, but it quickly became apparent that his martial arts skills were too much for them in the close quarters of the stairwell. “You almost through up there?” Steelbeak cried. “This duck is pounding us.”

“Just a little longer, Steelbeak,” Liquidator said. “Aw, what the heck?” Liquidator slid down the steps to Darkwing and tripped him so that he rolled downstairs and crashed on the floor. Liquidator then slid back up. “I carefully timed that, Mega Volt, so we can finish before Dimwit Dolittle gets up here. Hang on a moment, Nimnul.” Liquidator pressed a couple of keys on Nimnul’s laptop, on which Nimnul was studying something for Mega Volt.

“Aha,” Nimnul said. “This is perfect!” He addressed his fellow felons on the stairs. “We’re almost ready for the operation, you guys. Let the quack up here.”

“You hear that?” Steelbeak asked. “Let’s let this stupid duck get up there.”

“Almost ready?” Darkwing said. “Gosh, I’ve got to stop them.” He raced up the stairs and passed the evildoers.

“He’s coming,” Liquidator said. “Ready, Mega Volt?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, Liquie,” said Mega Volt.

“Okay!” Liquidator dissolved. Mega Volt placed a string across the top of the stairs. He attached the string to a switch that would trigger the devices.

“He’s coming. Get ready, Liquidator.”

“Ready, Sparky.”

“Hey! Don’t call me Sparky!”

Darkwing approached the top of the stairs. “Your plan is through, Sparky.” Unceremoniously, he tripped over the string, activating the devices, and then he crashed onto Liquidator, getting wet. The device shocked Darkwing with the help of Liquidator’s conductivity. In moments, Liquidator popped and fell to the floor below in a puddle.

“Good work, Liquidator.” Mega Volt grinned. “Where is that blasted Darkwing Duck?”

Darkwing regained consciousness. “Darkwing Duck? Who’s he?”

Mega Volt began sparking everywhere on his body from head to toe. “I mean you, Darkwing Duck! This is also necessary for our operation, and I’m going to enjoy it.” Mega Volt fried Darkwing Duck with electrons.

Darkwing screamed. He faded out of consciousness while being fried by Mega Volt.

The electric dog laughed. “And remember, I control the power of the two charged atomic particles, the proton as well as the electron.” Mega Volt pointed his right finger, glowing, to the ceiling. In a near-instant, he thrust it down and fried Darkwing Duck with protons, atomic particles containing positive electric energy. “Darkwing is ready.”

“Mega Volt,” Moliarity cried. “I’m glad that you were the one who was finally able to kill Darkwing Duck.”

“Kill him? I only fried him. He’s still alive.”

“Huh?” Moliarity asked. Darkwing moaned. “What? He can’t still be alive. It’s scientifically impossible!”

“You don’t understand. I want him to be alive.”

“Oh.”

Darkwing got up, despite his dizziness. “Ohhh. Am I still alive . . . Sparky?”

“Yes, Darkwing Duck, you are still among the living,” Mega Volt said. “Take some positrons, and not just for calling me Sparky!” He blasted Darkwing with positrons. Darkwing tripped at the end of the stairs where Mega Volt had put the rope and fell at the place where the tron-splitter was aimed. “Excellent.” The tron-splitter blasted Darkwing for just a moment.

“Oh, I really ought to try to blast that cursed Mega Volt.” Suddenly, a being took shape next to Darkwing, a being named Negaduck.

“It worked,” Mega Volt cried. “My evil plan actually worked. The process can bring a person’s reflection from the Negaverse. I knew that my experiments with that blasted tron-splitter were not in vain. Ha, ha, ha!”

“Why, of course,” Moliarity said. “It’s Darkwing Duck’s mirror-image—uh, who is he?”

“It’s Negaduck.”

“I am the terror that flaps in the day,” announced Negaduck. “I am the winged scourge that pecks at do-gooders’ daydreams. I am Negaduck, here to put an end all do-gooders’ careers. Ha, ha, ha!” He wore a black and yellow outfit similar in form to Darkwing’s, and he was exactly the same height. He looked around. “I see I’m back in the normal universe.”

“You are,” Mega Volt said. “Will you still help us to conquer that stupid Darkwing Duck?”

“Oh, Mega Volt, anyone who is an enemy of a do‑gooder is a friend of mine. Let’s talk this over lunch.”

Darkwing awoke with a yelp. “Oh, boy. Not Negaduck!”

“But, first, we need to get rid of some unnecessary baggage,” Negaduck said. “Ha, ha, ha!” He kicked Darkwing so that the hero tumbled down the stairs past Steelbeak, Bushroot, Quacker Jack, and Tuskerninni.

“Wow,” Steelbeak said. “Negaduck’s as fond of Darkwing Duck as I am.” The evildoers ascended. Liquidator, gaining consciousness, sprang back up to the upper floor. “Howdy, Negaduck.”

“Hello, Steelbeak. We finally meet. I see that my goody-good counterpart, Darkwing Duck, is taking a big fall. Your pals, here, pulled me back out of the Negaverse and here into this universe. I was battling your counterparts there while you were battling Darkwing. I whacked their goody-goody butts before I was pulled here, though, so there was no loss. I still rule the Negaverse. Still want me to help you wicked scoundrels rule the universe?”

“Yes!” the villains all cried.

“Bad! Bad idea.” Negaduck laughed. “By that, I mean, of course, that it’s the evil equivalent of a good idea. Now, let’s conquer this burg and put an end to goodness and freedom in this town.” All the evildoers slid down the banister, ran out the door, and went to their hideout in the tallest hotel in Saint Canard.

* * *

As Darkwing was showing the archive of the events in the power plant, Liquidator approached him. “Mega Volt sure got you that time,” Liquidator said with relish.

“Yeah. I was still alive, though.”

“And, now, the Justice Ducks arrive to find you. It’s amazing what you did after hearing Gosalyn’s voice, Darkwing.”

“Yeah, right. I can’t believe that I’m narrating half-way with a villain.”

“If you don’t put your big beak in PARK, I’m going to whack it right off your face.” Liquidator and Darkwing disappeared from the picture when the Justice Ducks arrived. “We had pulled Negaduck back out of his homeworld, the Negaverse, before totally knocking out Darkwing. It was about ten minutes before the Justice Ducks arrived, enough time for us to get out of the power plant and to get to Steelbeak’s high-class hideout in the top floor of the tallest hotel in the city. Like I just told Darkwing, it was amazing what happened when he heard Gosalyn’s voice.”

* * *

Darkwing was still unconscious in the power plant when the Justice Ducks landed in the ThunderQuack to find Darkwing. Gosalyn was the first out of the plane. When she saw Darkwing lying on the floor, she stopped short. “Oh, no! What happened?”

Upon hearing Gosalyn’s voice, Darkwing immediately sprang up to his feet. “Gosalyn, I thought I told you to stay at Darkwing Tower,” he snapped. “Just for this, I’m cutting your allowance in half.”

“Darkwing,” she exclaimed in shock. “We just came out to see what had happened.”

GizmoDuck rolled in with sophisticated equipment to scan the place. “Hmm. There are very heavy traces of electric energy in this power plant.”

“Oh, no,” said Darkwing. “Then you mean it wasn’t a dream?”

“What wasn’t?” Gosalyn asked.

“We now have to worry about ol’ Negaduck again.”

Dr. Sarah Bellum came in with Agent Grizzlykov. “Uh, oh. I was afraid of this,” Dr. Bellum said.

“Dr. Bellum.”

“They have powered Quacker Jack, have they not?” Grizzlykov said. He was a large, strong Russian toon-bear with an office suit. He was big, brown, bipedal, and strong, and he always followed procedure.

“They sure have. They then came here; blasted me with a tron-splitter while I was wet; blasted me with electrons, protons, and positrons; and blasted me with that same tron-splitter while I was dry. After that, my blasted archenemy, Negaduck, formed beside me and kicked me all the way downstairs from up there.”

“He was pulled out of a universe parallel to ours through an effect obtuse to this universe and acute to that other one,” Bellum said.

“I must admit, Negaduck’s a pretty handsome devil, as handsome as I, except for that tacky yellow, crimson, and black outfit of his.”

“Maybe, Darkwing, you should follow proper procedures for once,” suggested Grizzlykov.

“Can it, Agent Grizzlykov.”

“Now what shall we do?” Launchpad asked.

“There is only one thing left to do, Launchpad: let’s get dangerous.” Darkwing saw something. “Wait a minute. What’s this?” He picked the little pellet of something up with a pair of tweezers. He examined it with a portable microscope. “Why, of course.”

* * *

Bushroot came over to Darkwing as the duck paused the video. “Okay, okay,” Bushroot said. “I admit to having planted that breadcrumb from our hideout there in the power plant, Darkwing, but—”

“But nothing, larcenous legume,” said Darkwing. “It led us right to your hideout. Mega Volt, Liquidator, and Quacker Jack, here is the one who let us Justice Ducks find your hideout.” Mega Volt and Quacker Jack jumped Bushroot and engaged into weed-whacking him. Liquidator came up to Darkwing.

“You’re not nice,” Liquidator said.

“Why aren’t you crushing Bushroot?”

“I knew that, if he had planted that breadcrumb, he was thinking that we all would smash you into oblivion.”

“Well, he was quite wrong.”

“Let’s just get back to the story.” As Darkwing resumed the video, the scene changed to Steelbeak’s high-class hideout. “It was getting late. We were conferring with High-Command when those blasted Justice Ducks showed up and eventually ruined everything.”

* * *

Steelbeak’s Hideout, Penthouse of the Tallest Hotel, Saint Canard.

At Steelbeak’s hideout, the villains were having a conference with F.O.W.L. High-Command. “And that is the story, High-Command,” Negaduck said at last.

“We’re glad to hear that Agent Quacker Jack has been powered up as planned, Steelbeak,” the Duck-Leader said. “We’re also glad that you managed to bring back Agent Negaduck from the Negaverse.”

“I don’t know about you, Quacky, but I’m ready to break something,” Mega Volt said.

“Sounds fun, Megzy,” Quacker Jack said.

“I’m feeling the same way, Mega Volt,” said Liquidator. “Tired of sitting around all day? Ready to feel like a really evil criminal? Then, get out and blast some Darkwing.”

“An assault on an agent of SHUSH?” Mega Volt said. “Oh, Liquie, what an electrifying idea. Let’s get shocking.” Suddenly, a hill of smoke appeared in the room. “The Justice Dopes!”

“We are the terrors that flap in the night,” Darkwing said. “We are the springs that come loose on your toys. We are the circuit breakers on the electric system of crime. We are the Justice Ducks!”

“Fry ’im, Megzy,” said Negaduck.

“Okay, Negzy,” Mega Volt said. “Get ready, Darkwing.” Laughing, Mega Volt blasted Darkwing with some more lethal voltage.

“Ouch,” said Darkwing.

“Tired of fighting crime?” Liquidator asked. “Sick of winning all of the time? Then, take an all-expense-paid-trip to oblivion.” Out of his body, Liquidator formed a huge bow. Using his arm and hand as an arrow, he fired himself at Morganna and knocked her out. “Triumph now with the Liquidator.”

“Okay, fish, prepare to be taken out of water,” said Bushroot. He grew his weeds and trapped Neptunia.

“Ack! Watch it, bub. I hate this seaweed,” said Neptunia.

Quacker Jack laughed. “Hey, GizmoDuck. Stop this!” Quacker Jack did cartwheels and whacked GizmoDuck into the wall so hard that he was knocked out. “Have a nice nap. Ha, ha, ha!”

Steelbeak went over to Gosalyn and Launchpad. “The rest of these guys are just wimps,” the rooster said.

“Watch whom you’re calling a wimp, Steelbeak,” Gosalyn said. She gave him a hard kick in the leg.

“Yow! That does it, kid. Get her, Professors Nimnul and Moliarity.”

Professors Nimnul and Moliarity came in a strange device. “You’re dead meat, girl,” Moliarity said. Nimnul pressed a button. An arm from the machine reached out and grabbed Gosalyn.

“Ungh! Let me go, Professor Nim‑nut.”

“Never,” said Nimnul.

“All right, you villains,” Stegmutt said. “Prepare to get hurt for messing with my friends.”

“Oh, how unfortunate, big guy,” said Tuskerninni. He opened a suitcase, and his three penguins popped out. “Roll it.” The three penguins rolled a movie camera.

“Oh, boy! I’m on candid camera.” A fist sprang out of the camera and knocked out Stegmutt.

“That’s a rap,” said Tuskerninni.

“All right, you evil-doers,” Launchpad said. “Prepare to—” Liquidator, Mega Volt, Negaduck, and Quacker Jack surrounded him.

“Prepare to do what, flyboy?” Liquidator asked.

“Ah, prepare to accept my surrender?”

“That’s more like it,” said Negaduck. “Isn’t villainy grand?” All the bad guys laughed.

* * *

Later, all the super-heroes were tied up to special torture devices in another room in the suite. Negaduck sprang into the room and shattered the darkness by turning on a light. “Ha, ha, ha! The science of pain. Oooh, it gives me chills.” He went over to a device to which GizmoDuck was tied and turned on a video screen via remote. The Vulture-Leader and the Duck-Leader of F.O.W.L. High-Command appeared on the screen. “My vile F.O.W.L. High-Command leaders, you are about to witness the payback that is about to be received by these good-guys. Unwisely, they messed with the valedictorians of the Class of ’78 of the F.O.W.L. University of Evil-Doers, who so happen to be—” As Negaduck called their names, they leapt into view. “—F.O.W.L. Agent Steelbeak, Mega Volt, Liquidator, Dr. Reginald Bushroot, Quacker Jack, Tuskerninni, Professor Moliarity, and Professor Norton Nimnul. Ha, ha, ha! Witness, my audience, the helpless GizmoDuck. These electrical wires drain his beloved gizmo-energy, but, once I throw the switch, the energy reversal will fry him.”

GizmoDuck gasped with revulsion. “You cad. You—you—you cad!”

Negaduck went over to where Neptunia was tied up and pointed his hand in the direction of nuclear fusion sun-lamps right above her. “Note the nuclear fusion sun-lamps over this unfortunate specimen of aquatic life. Once I throw the switch, we’ll have ourselves a big ol’ fish fry.” He grabbed Neptunia’s cheek. When he let go, she tried to bite his fingers but missed. “Nyah, nyah! Missed me.”

Negaduck went over to where Stegmutt was. “Well, Stegmutt. You aren’t so strong when you’re weightless, are you?” Stegmutt seemed to be having childlike fun floating in the container in which he was held captive. He was, as Negaduck just stated, weightless in the container. “I hope that you can hold your breath for a long time, because all the air is going to be sucked out of this chamber once I throw the switch.”

“Oh, boy,” Stegmutt said.

Negaduck went over to the helpless Morganna, whose head was in an open vice. “Ha, ha, ha! And you, my pretty, in my mystical-power-draining-vice. You should never have snubbed me. This vice keeps your powers weak. You are going to have your itty, bitty head squashed—” He squashed a little bug with his foot. “—flat . . . when I throw the switch.”

He went over to Darkwing, who was tied onto a metal platter by strong ropes. A huge axe was set up above him; only a rope prevented it from swinging down and striking him. A pendulum above would cut through the rope in several swipes when it began moving. “All tied up at the moment, Darkwing?”

“Enough of the puns, you fiend,” Darkwing said.

“Fiend. I like the sound of that! Too bad I won’t get those compliments once your guts are splattered all over the room by that axe. The pendulum will cut through that rope, causing that axe to fall on you and destroy you. Ha, ha, ha, ha! And remember, the pendulum starts swinging when I throw—”

“We know, we know, the switch,” Morganna, Neptunia, GizmoDuck, and Stegmutt said in bored tones.

“How true. Ha, ha, ha!”

“Do me one favor, Negaduck,” Darkwing said.

“What is it?”

“Don’t throw the switch.”

Negaduck sighed. “I was rather hoping you had to use the bathroom or something. Why shouldn’t I throw the switch?”

“Why should you throw the switch?”

“To do two things: one is to destroy you, and two is for the sheer fun of it!”

“Oh, hilarious. Just kill me and get it over with.”

Quacker Jack laughed. “Hey, Negs, as long as we have Darkwing here, let’s remove his mask and find out who he really is.”

“We can find out after we splatter his guts everywhere,” Negaduck said. “His head will still be in one piece.”

“I remember unmasking him once,” said Mega Volt, “but I cannot remember who he is. It was at the reunion of the Class of ’72 of Saint Canard High School a few months ago. I’ll remember who if I think about it.”

“It could probably be some dope that’s father of a certain little girl,” Quacker Jack said, facing Gosalyn. “Ha, ha, ha!”

“If you’re talking about me, Quack, you’d better not be,” Gosalyn said. “I’m of no relation to him whatsoever.” She and Launchpad were clasped to the wall by ankle-cuffs and hand-cuffs.

“You have helped him, and that’s an equally good non-crime,” Negaduck said. “This wall will separate where your waists are, ripping you two into two pieces. Ha, ha, ha! And the wall will separate when I throw—aw, everyone knows that already.”

He went to a pedestal. Prominently placed in the middle was a button. “And, without further ado, the switch!” Everyone gasped as he pressed the button. Nothing happened. He pressed it again several times. “Whoops. That’s not the right one. It must be this one.” He covered his eyes and pressed a rocker switch in the on-direction once. Still, nothing happened. “That’s not it.”

With his hand, he pointed to a large toggle switch on the wall. “It must be this one!” He grabbed the handle. “Good-bye, heroes.” With sinister laughter, he pulled back on the handle a seventh of the total way. GizmoDuck started getting electrified. “Getting the shock of your life, Gizmo? Goodbye to the rest of you pains in the yen. Ha, ha, ha!” He yanked the handle all the way on. Neptunia began getting hot around the collar. Stegmutt was losing air. Morganna’s head was getting squashed. The pendulum was cutting Darkwing’s rope. Launchpad and Gosalyn were getting stretched. “Now, it’s time to say good‑bye to all of our company.” Just before Darkwing got cut to death, Morganna turned his table into a yak that suddenly appeared in Negaduck’s hands, and Darkwing beat feet. Lucky him, for he barely escaped before the axe swung right by his cape.

Mega Volt stared at the yak, which had just caused Negaduck to collapse. “Whoa! A yak.”

Darkwing destroyed the switch with a Gas Gun cartridge. The power cut off to Negaduck’s devices immediately, and everyone was okay. Darkwing pulled at the bar enclosing Morganna’s head in the vice.

“Did I do well, Dark?” she asked.

“You did great, Morg.” When he had freed her, Darkwing was propelled to where GizmoDuck was captive and freed him in a spin. Morganna freed Neptunia. With a glasscutter, GizmoDuck cut Stegmutt a perfect hole in the glass. Neptunia blew on her seashell trumpet at a high frequency and cracked the wall behind Launchpad and Gosalyn, setting them free. Darkwing leapt to the centre of the room. “Justice Ducks, assemble.” GizmoDuck, Morganna, Neptunia, Stegmutt, Launchpad, and Gosalyn leapt just behind Darkwing.

“Agents, blast them to teeny bits,” the Duck-Leader said. The screen flipped off.

Negaduck walked over to Darkwing with the yak and tossed it aside. “Assemble, Fearsome Nine.” Bushroot, Liquidator, Mega Volt, Quacker Jack, Nimnul, Moliarity, Tuskerninni, and Steelbeak walked up behind Negaduck. The two teams backed off from each other seven or eight paces.

After a moment or two, Darkwing and Negaduck both ordered, “Attack!” The two teams rushed toward each other. After a cloud of smoke cleared, Quacker Jack chased Stegmutt with a pair of snapping-teeth. Darkwing flipped after Mega Volt, who was firing blasts at him. Neptunia going after Dr. Reginald Bushroot. While she was chasing Bushroot, Liquidator grabbed her. She leapt into him and spun him out.

“Oh, no,” said Liquidator. “Not agaaaa. . . .” Liquidator spun out of control.

Mega Volt blasted at Darkwing, who landed in front of him. Mega Volt ducked. “Lights out, Spar—” Darkwing began. Quacker Jack sprang out of a hidey-hole and let one of his snap-teeth snap onto Darkwing’s cape. “—yoww!”

“You said a mouthful,” laughed Quacker Jack.

Mega Volt pointed a glowing finger at Darkwing. “This time, it’s bye-bye, Darkwing Duck. Wait, I remember who you are now. You are—” He suddenly noticed that Liquidator was spinning directly toward him. “Oh, no! Veer off! Veer off!” When Liquidator ran into Mega Volt, Mega Volt got short-circuited with a scream. Liquidator popped and Mega Volt was dizzy. “Whoa, what a doozy. Darkwing Duck . . . is—” He fell flat on his front and lost consciousness just before he revealed Darkwing’s identity. Quacker Jack sprang out of his hiding place and went after someone else.

Bushroot was trying to scare away Stegmutt with a cactus. “Go on,” said Bushroot. “Get back, you herbivorous plant-eater. Back, back!” Stegmutt broke the cactus by whacking it with his spiky tail. “Yah!” Before Bushroot could run away, Stegmutt grabbed him by the neck.

“What shall I do with Mr. Bushroot, Darkwing?” Stegmutt asked.

“It’s easy, Stegmutt,” Darkwing said. “Let’s pretend Bushroot, here, is on fire.”

“Yeah,” Neptunia said. “Put out the Bushroot.”

“Uh, oh,” said Bushroot. “I really hate this.”

Holding onto Bushroot’s legs, Stegmutt whacked the plant duck on the floor several times. “Put out the Bushroot. Put out the Bushroot,” chanted Stegmutt.

GizmoDuck had cornered Quacker Jack, who held his hands palm‑up in mid-air as if in surrender. Suddenly, a set of snap-teeth formed in each of his hands. Quacker Jack laughed. “Nothing can stop these teeth.”

“Not even a dentist’s drill?” inquired GizmoDuck. A large drill came out of GizmoDuck’s suit. The two sets of snap-teeth shrieked and flew away. The teeth in Quacker Jack’s mouth flew away as well! In pain, Quacker Jack held his beak, which was now flabby. “How about some anesthesia first?” A boxing glove popped out of GizmoDuck’s suit and knocked the daylights out of Quacker Jack.

Tuskerninni was after Launchpad. “This will be your final performance, McQuack,” the thespian threatened.

“That’s it,” said Launchpad. “You’ve made me mad.” Launchpad wound up his fist and whacked Tuskerninni into the wall. This knocked Tuskerninni out.

Steelbeak was after Gosalyn. He cornered her next to a window. “Come on, girlie. Your interference is doing neither of us any good.”

“Hey,” said Gosalyn. “Wasn’t that Grizzlykov who just walked by down there?”

Steelbeak rushed to look out the window. “Grizzlykov? Where is that worse-than-Darkwing SHUSH Agent?” Gosalyn grabbed the back of Steelbeak’s coat and yanked his back down. He crashed on the floor. “Yah! Girl, you’re starting to get on my nerves.”

Gosalyn removed a gas pellet from her pocket. “Catch this, Steelbeak.” She tossed it on Steelbeak. Steelbeak started laughing like crazy, helpless as a flea without a bloodsucker.

“Girl, that did it. When you—ha, ha, ha!—blast Steelbeak with a laughing gas cartridge, you have really done it. Ha, ha, ha!”

“Yeh, yeh, yeh. The ol’ laughing gas did it again.”

Darkwing came up behind Gosalyn. “Good work, Gos.” Negaduck ambushed him. The two ducks started fighting, and they were soon surrounded by fight smoke, obscuring them from view. A fist extended from the smoke. When it was thrust back in, the fight stopped like a car screeching to a stop. Darkwing had delivered the punch line to Negaduck, who fell unconscious. “Yeh, yeh, yeh. The ol’ punch-trick did it again.”

Liquidator had Morganna cornered. “Are you under stress?” the watery villain queried. “Tired of the pitfalls of being a superhero’s girlfriend? Are you tired of losing in several fights? Then, what you need is an all-expense-paid trip to oblivion.” He pulled the same arrow-trick on Morganna. She was now ready for it, as she quickly grabbed a bottle and let Liquidator fly into it. “Hey.” She put the cork on the bottle.

“New and improved burglar in a bottle,” Morganna said.

“Those are supposed to be my punch-lines.”

“Well, you shouldn’t keep things all bottled up inside.”

“Ew! Bad choice of words. Bad pun.”

“Justice Ducks, reassemble,” Darkwing said. All the Justice Ducks assembled near him. “It appears that we have all of them.” A bomb exploded just behind them. “I was wrong. We missed Moliarity and Nimnul, and there’s Moliarity.”

Moliarity wielded a powerful missile-launcher. “Oh, our plans, ruined. Thwarted by a bunch of rejects from a funny book. Finesse this, Justice Dweebs.” He launched several missiles. The Justice Ducks avoided them barely. Darkwing did cartwheels and knocked the missile-launcher out of Moliarity’s hands. He then grabbed the missile-launcher before Moliarity had a chance to do so. “Ah!”

“Ha. I now have possession of your weapon, Moliarity.” GizmoDuck handcuffed Moliarity.

Nimnul came in on a strange device. “Oh, you are as bad as the Rescue Rangers,” he grumbled. “Take this, Deadmeat Slob.” He opened fire upon Darkwing and his team with lasers from his invention.

“Suck gas, evildoer.” Darkwing fired his Gas Gun at Nimnul and destroyed the device. Nimnul’s device broken, he fell on the floor. “What have you to say now, Nimnul?”

“Uh, I give up?”

“Right! You give up. Giz?” GizmoDuck snapped handcuffs on Nimnul.

* * *

Darkwing Tower.

The Justice Ducks met back at Darkwing Tower. “I could not have done it so well without you, guys,” Darkwing said. “Honestly, that was the best display of intelligence and strength that I’ve ever seen.”

“You know, Darkwing, you’re not such a bad sport after all,” said GizmoDuck.

“Where’d you send them?” Honker asked.

“The High-Surveillance Penitentiary for Super-Villains,” Darkwing said. “I warned them not to accept any more cakes in the future.”

“That’s good,” Morganna said. “Well, we’d better all be getting back home, now. I enjoyed the adventure, Dark.”

“See you soon, Morg.” Morganna magically transported herself to her eerie house.

“Well, I ought to be getting back to the sea,” Neptunia said. “I’m starting to dry out. See you later, guys.”

“See you later, Neptunia.” Neptunia leapt out the window into the sea.

“See you later, Darkwing,” said Stegmutt.

“See ya later, Steggers.” Stegmutt left.

“Now, there seems to be a pending question of secret identities here,” Launchpad said.

“I’ve been dying to know who’s behind that mask of yours, Darkwing,” GizmoDuck said.

“Well, I have this desire to know who’s in that metal suit, Gizzerroo,” said Darkwing.

“Well?” asked Launchpad.

“Honker?”

“See you later, Darkwing,” said Honker. “See you later, Gosalyn.”

“See you later, Honker,” Gosalyn said. Honker left through the secret underground passageway to Drake Mallard’s house.

“Okay, now is okay, isn’t it, DW?” Launchpad asked.

Gosalyn showed both hands in front of her. “I won’t blab, cross my heart, hope to die.”

“I’ll go first if you don’t mind, GizmoDuck,” Darkwing said.

“I don’t mind,” said GizmoDuck. Darkwing took off his hat. He then removed his mask. “It’s you, Drake? Well, what a great man for the job.” GizmoDuck pressed several buttons on his suit. His suit came off, revealing GizmoDuck’s secret identity, Fenton Crackshell.

“Fenton!”

“It’s me, all right, Drake.” He looked at his watch. “Oops, I’m running a little late. I’ve got something important to do tonight. I mustn’t be late. Blabberin’ blatherskite!” The GizmoSuit formed around him. “Tah-tah, DW! I’m off to Duckburg.” His helmet-copter formed, and he flew away.

Darkwing put his mask back on. “Tah-tah, GizmoDuck. See you next crime.”

“Why did you put your mask back on, DW?” Launchpad asked.

“I’m going to keep watch on the penitentiary, to make sure that those felonious adversaries of mine don’t escape again,” said Darkwing.

“I don’t think they’ll try to escape for a while, DW. After all, not every team can stop them as well as we have.”

“True, for we are the terrors that flap in the night. We are the winged scourges that peck at all evildoers’ nightmares. We are the Justice Ducks!”

* * *

Darkwing settled back in his chair as the video came to an end. “Yeh, yeh, yeh. We are the Justice Ducks. You know, I think I like them better now than before. They all had a part in whacking those baddies. Why, my own daughter found out Steelbeak’s weakness and took advantage of it. Well, until my next adventure, tah-tah.”

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