25--RMWVL, Part 6: The Near Victory of the Brain-Team

September 27.

Control Room, Tourian, Metroid, VideoLand.

otherBrain, Eggplant Wizard, and King Hippo were already in the control room as Ludwig and Larry came in. She was again railing at Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. “No, no, no! You two good-for-nothing idiots. You would forget your bitty brains if they were not sewn into your heads.”

“Sorry, MotherBrain,” Eggplant Wizard said. “This idiot keeps getting in my way.”

“What are you talking about, you repugnant vegetable?” asked King Hippo. “You are the one who is always messing up.”

“Enough, you two,” Ludwig said.

“Yes,” Larry said. “Ludwig has an idea that will fix those goody-goody idiots.”

“Oh, goody,” Eggplant Wizard said. “You heard him, King Hippo.”

“You did too, veggie-brain,” snapped King Hippo.

“Hush up before you get on a roll, dummies,” Larry said.

“What tricks do you have up your sleeves, kids?” MotherBrain asked.

“I have an idea that will make our enemies writhe in agony,” boasted Ludwig.

“Hoo, hoo! I love it already.”

“Ha, ha! And it isn’t a whole load of trash, either.”

“So, what is your idea, bright boy?”

“We lead them on a wild goose chase through the warp zone connecting Metroid and my Castle of Koopa.”

“Yeah,” Larry said. “Then, we can seal the warp zone and trap them all in the Mushroom World forever. Ha, ha, ha! We sacrifice the Mushroom World, but that’s not so bad.”

MotherBrain laughed. “I love it. Let’s tell Bowser and the other Koopalings about it. Then, we can carry it out.”

“Oh. And there is one minor requirement that we must meet first,” Ludwig said.

“What is that, big brother?” asked Larry.

“The stars must be in proper alignment first. And no, I’m not talking about any psychic mumbo jumbo! I’m talking about the charge of stellar particles and the problem of gravity. Sol—which is the star to which Kevin’s Earth belongs—and the star Alpha Centauri must be in line directly out to our south. The MegaLand Earth’s star must be to our precise west. We do not have to worry about the other billions of stars within the Milky Way. We do, however, have to worry about our and the stars’ positioning along the outside of the center cluster of the whole galaxy. Our sun and we must be aligned to the west of the center cluster, and the two other stars must be aligned to the east of the cluster.

“It takes over two hundred thousand years for the whole galaxy to rotate around its center. I predict, from my recent stellar studies, that the precise event will occur at 12:00 tomorrow, my watch’s time. At the time my watch reaches 12:00 noon, we shall be able to seal the warp zone with minimal energy output until 12:15. If we play our cards right, we should be able to lure those goody-goodies through the warp and seal it in time. We’ll have to be very serious about our actions, not to goof off like fools, and go by my watch. Let’s synchronize. It would take more power than even we have to effect this deed without the stellar alignment.”

“Did you hear that, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo? No goofing off,” said MotherBrain.

“Yeah, Eggplant Wizard,” King Hippo said. “No goofin’ off.”

“You are the one always goofing off, King Hippo,” Eggplant Wizard said.

“I’m talking to both you nitwits,” MotherBrain snapped. “No goofing off! And no fighting.”

Eggplant Wizard put his hand up to his head in a salute. “Yes, Queen MotherBrain.”

“Yes, Queen MotherBrain,” said King Hippo. When he put his fist up to his head in an attempt to salute, he bashed himself in the head and knocked himself out.

MotherBrain sighed. “See, King Hippo?”

“That is exactly what Ludwig was talking about,” Larry said.

“Precisely,” Ludwig said. “Fortunately, our mentally challenged servants, we probably shall not need your questionable assistance.”

“Yes,” MotherBrain said. “I can see why. Only they could mess up such a simple instruction as ‘speak.’ Take Eggplant Wizard for example. Eggplant Wizard, speak.”

“You want me to speak?” asked Eggplant Wizard. “Okay. How about I recite Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?”

“No, that won’t be—”

“ ‘Four-times-twenty plus seven years ago, our daddies brought a new nation forth on this land mass, the nation being dreamed of as in liberty, and dedicated to the thought of all humans being equal in every way.’ Boy, this Lincoln was some kind of sap, wasn’t he?”

MotherBrain rolled her eyes looked at Ludwig as if to say, ‘See?’

“ ‘Now we are in the Civil War, testing whether that nation, or any nation so thought of and so dedicated, can survive. We are met with the battlefield of that tragic war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a last resort for those who gave their lives so that the nation may live. It is very fitting and proper that we do this.’ Why do the soldiers need a resort if they are already dead?

“ ‘But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground. The courageous males, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our weak power to add or subtract.’ The dummies could not add or subtract? No wonder the Confederate Government lost the war. They could hardly add or subtract!

“ ‘The world will hardly note or long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.’ The fool! He should have known that future beings would note and remember what he said. The Democratic U.S. Government won the war with Lincoln leading them, and Lincoln was Republican! He was true, however, that we could not forget what they did there.

“ ‘It is for the living humans, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that here we highly resolve that these dead have not died in vain—that this nation, under God, will have a new birth of freedom—and that the government of the people, by the people, and for the people will not die from the Earth.’ How can a government die? They should have hauled this guy in for being crazy!”

MotherBrain sighed. “I rest my case. They should haul you in for being crazy, Eggplant Wizard. Not to mention for being incredibly stupid.”

“I believe that we have dawdled enough,” Ludwig said. “We have not the time for more.”

“I thought you had a watch on,” said King Hippo.

Ludwig zapped him with his scepter. “I am not talking in that sense!” He put his scepter away. “Let’s get busy. We have a lot of work to do.” He laughed. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo joined in.

“Shut up, twits,” said MotherBrain to Eggplant and Hippo.

* * *

Meeting Room, next to the Throne Room, Palace of Power, VideoLand.

Across VideoLand in the Palace of Power, the vast realm’s capital, the N‑Team was in conference to discuss the Brain-Team’s doings. “The Brain-Team spoils everything,” Lana said.

“Well, they have been quiet for several days,” Kevin said. “Of course, that can only mean trouble.”

“Correct. If they’re quiet, we can only assume that they’re planning something really big.”

“I wonder what the Koopas and MotherBoob are planning this time,” Toad said.

“Whatever it is, I shan’t like it,” said King Spike. “I don’t like it already.”

Suddenly, a Mushroomian wearing camouflage appropriate to Dark Land warped into the room and gave a hasty bow to Peach and Spike. “Queen Peach and King Spike, I have urgent news. Our observers report that every one of the Bowser Koopas is in Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa’s castle, and they’re all unarmed. Our people in Dark Land believe that now would the best time to apprehend the Koopas once and for all!”

“Thank you for the tip,” Peach said. “You are dismissed.” The Mushroomian bowed and left. “Now is the time to toss those evil Koopas in prison.”

* * *

Throne Room, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa’s Castle of Koopa, Valley of Koopa, Dinosaur Land, Mushroom World.

King Bowser Koopa, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa, and MotherBrain were watching via their monitor in Ludwig’s evil castle. Ludwig laughed. “That Mushroomian bozo has made the N‑Team play into our hands. Those Mushroom Kingdom spies are notoriously gullible.”

“Are you sure that this will work?” Bowser asked.

“I am this time. While they are stuck in my castle, we shall all warp to the Palace of Power and seal the warp between my castle and Metroid at noon tomorrow. And, when we seal the warp, we shall rule all of VideoLand!” He laughed insidiously.

* * *

Meeting Room, Palace of Power.

A short while later, the N‑Team made sure that the Brain-Team was not watching them. Then, they watched a video feed from an observation device that the Mushroomian’s compatriots had planted in Ludwig’s throne room. “So,” Mason said. “That is what they’re planning.”

“Right,” said Paul Drake. “They want to trick us all into coming to the Mushroom World so that they can seal us in there.”

“Apparently, they will stop at nothing,” Della said.

“Now, that’s the truth,” Hamilton Burger said.

“I ought to arrest them for pulling a hoax,” Tragg said.

“Any suggestions on what we should do about it?” Kevin asked.

“I’ve got it,” said Princess Lana. “Listen carefully.” She told them her idea.

* * *

Throne Room, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa’s Castle of Koopa.

Near midnight, in Ludwig’s castle, most of the Brain-Team was preparing to return to Metroid. “All right,” Ludwig said. “The rest of you return to Metroid, and, if you manage to get it fixed, engage the cloaking device. I shall stay here. When I return to Metroid, we seal the warp.”

“Right, my intelligent son,” Bowser said. The whole Brain-Team except Ludwig warped to Metroid.

“Okay. Now to see what the N‑Team is up to.” Ludwig pressed a button and turned on a monitor. As he watched, the N‑Team entered the warp to Dino Land. “Excellent. We shall see if they can get all the way up here before noon tomorrow.”

* * *

September 28.

Door to Ludwig’s Throne Room, Ludwig’s Castle.

At 10.45 the next morning, the N‑Team arrived at the door to Ludwig’s throne room. “We’re here,” Kevin said. “Now, we have to stop them from conquering the Mushroom World.” He pushed open the door. “All right, Brain-Team! Prepare to . . . what?”

Contrary to what Kevin was expecting, Ludwig was alone in the room. Today, he was wearing a royal suit. The villain drew and activated his laser saber. “It was a trick, N‑Team pest. En garde!”

Captain N drew his steel sword. He had been practicing with the good Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa. “Okay, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa,” he said. “Prepare to eat this sword for breakfast. The hilt is the hardest part to swallow. Besides, you can magically eliminate the blade before it hurts.” Ludwig attacked Kevin with his laser saber several times, but Kevin proved most evasive. After penetrating Ludwig’s defenses, Kevin then swung his sword and knocked the handle of Ludwig’s laser saber out of his hands.

“My sword,” Ludwig cried. Kevin pointed the end of the blade at Ludwig’s neck. “Go ahead. Thrust that through my neck.”

“I wouldn’t be that cruel. You seem a bit hot under the collar. Maybe you require some ventilation.” Kevin slashed an ‘N’ in Ludwig’s suit.

“How humiliating.”

“Let’s restrain him,” Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said.

King Bowser and his six younger Koopalings warped into the room. “Wrong,” Larry (Bowser)Koopa said. “Get our brother, Lemmy and Iggy.”

Iggy fired a ring from his scepter that knocked Kevin’s blade away. Then, Lemmy and Iggy grabbed Ludwig, and all of them left through the warp to Metroid. The warp closed.

“Talk about a grand exit,” Kevin said.

“Let’s destroy this horrible castle,” Lana said.

“I’ll hammer it to death,” said Mario.

“I’ll fireball it,” Luigi said.

“I’ll eat its blocks,” Yoshi said.

“I’ll whip it into shape,” Simon said.

“I’ll mega-fry it,” said MegaMan.

“I’ll arrow it down‑icus,” Kid Icarus said.

“I’ll blast it with beams from my sword,” said Link.

“I’ll blow it up with my energy arrows,” Zelda said.

“I’ll shoot it with my Spazer Laser Beam,” Samus said.

“And I’ll vaporize its foundations with my Zapper,” Kevin said. They went outside to do so.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

The Koopas rushed into Metroid’s control room. The monitor showed the N‑Team wreaking havoc upon Ludwig’s castle. “Those saps,” Larry said. “They still don’t know about our devious plot.”

“Right,” said Ludwig. “It is almost time.” In a short while, his watch showed that it was noon. “Now! Destroy the warp zone, Dr. Wily and Ridley.”

“Right, Prince Ludwig,” Dr. Wily said. He and Ridley did as commanded, activating preprogrammed command sequences on Ludwig’s computer.

In a minute, the program had completed, and Dr. Wily and Ridley had destroyed the main warp between VideoLand and the Mushroom World. If there were no main warp between the two worlds, temporary warps could not be made easily.

“We’ve done it!” Ludwig cried. “VideoLand is ours. Engage the—”

The N‑Team suddenly warped into the room! “You did it, all right,” Lana said.

“It’s the N‑Team,” cried King Hippo.

“Thank you, Sherlock Hippos,” MotherBrain said. “What in the great moons of Jupiter are you N‑Twerps doing here?”

“You fell for Dr. Wright and Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa’s robots, guys,” Kevin said.

“Yes,” said the good Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa. “Thanks to them, you thought that we were there in your crazy castle instead of being at the Palace all along.”

“How did you N‑Twerps find out about our plan?” Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa asked.

“We planted a listening device in your castle, Ludwig,” Kevin said.

“Right,” said Larry (Spike)Koopa.

“And now, we are going to give you evil-doers a knock-out,” Iggy (Spike)Koopa said.

“En garde, Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa,” said Kevin. He drew his steel sabre. Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa drew and activated his laser saber. They both made the traditional sword fighting salute and began fighting. With a wicked gleam, Ludwig slashed at Kevin’s saber, but to his surprise, his saber did not go through Kevin’s.

“What in the name of all evil?” cried Ludwig.

“We coated the steel so that not even your saber could cut through the blade, Prince,” Kevin said. They resumed fighting. “Maybe you would like some more ventilation, Ludwig.” Kevin carved another ‘N’ in Ludwig’s suit.

“Not again.” While Ludwig was looking at his suit, Kevin drew his Zapper, fired it, and knocked the laser saber out of Ludwig’s hand. “Not again!”

“Let’s see how you like this, Cousin Ludwig,” Roy (Spike)Koopa said. He swung his scepter, firing at controls on Ludwig’s computer. The cloaking device was destroyed, and a glass cage descended from the ceiling to enclose the whole Brain-Team.

“You bad guys have always been a pain,” said Larry (Spike)Koopa. The word ‘pain’ was, of course, pronounced the same way the word ‘pane’ was pronounced.

“Ew!” the other N‑Teamsters said. “Bad joke.”

“Well, now that we have Brain-Team under glass, let’s go,” Kevin said. The N‑Team took its leave.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

Later, the N‑Team met in the Palace of Power’s throne room. “I wonder how the Brain-Team is doing with escaping from their glass prison,” Paul Drake said.

“They probably won’t get out for a week,” said Kevin.

“I used our computer to re‑open that main warp zone, based on the methods that my evil cousin and Dr. Wily used,” Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said. “It went quickly because the warp pathways have not decayed yet. I have one end in Mother’s castle and the other in the Warp Hall.”

Mario laughed. “We sure foiled the Brain-Team’s near victory. If it had not been for that bug we planted in Ludwig’s Castle, we would never have found out about their plan.”

“Right, and VideoLand would have been theirs,” said Kevin.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

Once more, the Brain-Team was spying on the N‑Team. “Yes, VideoLand would have certainly been ours,” MotherBrain said.

“They even had to destroy the cloaking device while they were at it,” Ludwig said. “But maybe it will be best to start from scratch.”

“How are you coming with this glass cage, Mouser?”

“Almost done. I’ve located the weak spots, Your Wrinkledness.” With a gasp, he put his hand over his mouth. “Oops!”

“These ain’t wrinkles! They are beauty lines!” She shocked Mouser so badly that he vibrated violently. Like a jackhammer, he pounded all the glass to smithereens. “Ooh!”

“Wow,” Morton exclaimed. “Great! Excellent! A rodent jackhammer—what a concept.”

“Shut up,” said Bowser.

Eggplant Wizard whispered to King Hippo. “I think that I know who is going to get blamed for this.” King Hippo only sighed in reply.

“Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo,” screamed MotherBrain, surely enough, “it is your fault! You let those N‑Twerps sneak that spy device into Ludwig’s Castle. Out of my sight.” MotherBrain blasted King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard without mercy.