22--RMWVL, Part 4, Ch.3

August 1.

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

erry Mason and Lieutenant Andy Anderson returned to the Palace of Power soon. Paul Drake rose from his computer to greet them. “Welcome back. Well, Perry?”

“I got a tip that the missing persons are on Excalibur,” Perry said. “Come on, Dr. Wright. We may need your expertise and inventions.”

“Good idea, Perry,” said Dr. Wright. He got out a pen. “This pen is actually an extremely powerful gun with the powers of MegaMan, CutMan, GutsMan, BombMan, ElecMan, and all the rest of my androids and Dr. Wily’s androids. It should prove to be a most useful asset.”

“Good. Della and Hamilton, you two stay here. Andy, Paul, Wright, and Duke, you four come with me. We’re going to Excalibur. Roll, Della, and Hamilton, if the N‑Team awakens, I want you to tell them the whole story.”

“I heard Kevin talking about a being called Malkil that lives on that world,” said Hamilton. “Malkil sounds too friendly.”

“If I see him, I’ll freeze time on him with the FlashMan TimeStopper,” Dr. Wright said.

“Okay,” said Perry. “Let’s go.” Perry, Paul, Andy, Dr. Wright, and Duke warped off to the World of Wizards and Warriors.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

Meanwhile, the whole Brain-Team was preparing to warp to the same world. Ludwig turned to his companions. “All of you go ahead to Excalibur,” he said. “I alone have an appointment with Roll, Della Street, and Hamilton Burger. I will join you when I have finished.”

“Very well, Ludwig,” MotherBrain said. “See you soon.”

When the rest of the entire Brain-Team had warped to Excalibur, Ludwig warped to the Palace.

* * *

Nightmare Universe.

In the world of nightmares, Kevin was being beaten up by Mike Vincent, purportedly his worst enemy. He cried out as Mike struck another painful blow to his face. Kevin was bruised everywhere, and he was even bleeding some above his left eyebrow.

Mike laughed. “Don’t be a twerp, Keene. I still don’t have your hide!”

Lieutenant Tragg arrived on the scene. He had a cane and a limp left leg—not to mention a laser pistol. “Is that so, Mike Vincent?” Tragg asked. “Well, if you hit him once more, I’ll haul you in for assault and battery.”

Mike’s confidence fell as Tragg leveled the pistol on him. “Uh, I may have better things to do than beat up on twerps like Keene,” Mike said. “I’ll go do something to a girl. See ya later, Keene.” As Mike ran off, he apparently vanished into thin air.

Tragg looked at Kevin and saw one nice, black eye, the one under the bleeding eyebrow. As best he could, he helped Kevin to his feet.

“Whew. Thank you, Lieutenant Tragg,” Kevin said. “Man, I thought I was going to be dead meat.”

“Don’t mention it, Kevin,” Tragg said.

“Duke is probably glad that he didn’t join us. I saw an angry gang of alley cats back there that could really have clawed him up.”

“I met my worst nightmare, but I overcame it by myself. A criminal escaped after giving me one or two bullet-holes, but there was no major damage done. I finally caught the criminal.”

“I wonder how long we’ve been here.”

“To me, it seemed like two or three days.”

“Really? To me, it seems more like two or three minutes.”

“You’re probably more accurate. The perception of time seems to be quite distorted here. I wonder what happened to Her Highness.”

They heard a sudden shriek of Lana’s voice. “Get away from me!” Princess Lana came running and crashed into Kevin, who fell on his back.

Kevin got up. “What’s wrong, Princess?”

“Kevin! Am I ever glad to see you.” She hugged Kevin as hard as she could, feeling that urge to kiss him more strongly than ever before. She took one look at his face and saw he had met his nightmare, too. “My nightmare got out of control.” The three walked north.

Kevin put his arm around her back. “So did mine. Mike Vincent appeared and tried to beat me up—explaining this black eye and bleeding eyebrow—but he didn’t get too far, because Tragg appeared and almost arrested him.”

“I should have, but I doubt that it would do much good,” Tragg said. “He was only a dream, after all.”

Kevin stopped. He saw a familiar dog lying on the ground in front of them. “Duke?”

“He appears to be sleeping, Kevin,” Tragg said.

“Yeah. I wonder why.”

* * *

Meanwhile, in another part of the Nightmare Universe, Mario and Luigi were searching for Princess Peach. “Princess Peach,” Mario called. “Are you around here anywhere?”

“Man, Mario,” Luigi said. “That was the worst pipe clog I have ever seen.”

“Yeah. What a nightmare that was. Princess! Are you around anywhere?”

They heard Peach’s voice shouting from some distance away. “Back, Wisenheimer {wahy-zehn-hahy-mur}!”

“That is Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr},” another voice called back.

“Wisen {wahy-zehn}-whatever,” Toad’s voice said.

“I told you, that’s Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr}!” Princess Peach and Toad ran into sight with Wisenheimer, the Magikoopa, on their tail.

“Wise‑acre,” Mario cried. “I should have known that you had something to do with this.”

“That is Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr}!” the wizard cried. “Why do people never pronounce my blasted name correctly?”

“Because it’s hard, Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr}.”

“Ah. Thank you, Mario, for getting my name right. Just for that, I will not destroy you painfully. Now, putrid Princess Peach and Toad, you have an appointment with my dungeon.” He laughed maliciously.

Yoshi ran into the area. “Ghosts!” he cried. He ran over Wisenheimer.

“And thank you, Yoshi, for squashing me flat.”

Yoshi leapt into Luigi’s arms. “Yoshi scared of Boo Diddlies, Big Boos, and Eeries.”

“Thank you, dino-pal, for giving this Magikoopa a dino-sore,” Luigi said. “ Heh, heh!”

“I’ll be back, plumb-scum,” said Wisenheimer. In a moment, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Koopas always have to wait until the last minute to make a grand exit, and Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr} is no exception,” Mario said.

Onto the scene, Zelda and Link ran with the dreaded Carock on their tail. Like many Wizzrobe sorcerers from Hyrule, Carock had a long red cloak akin to Wisenheimer’s, and the hood kept the face shadowed in darkness.

“Mario,” Link cried. “Help us stop Carock.”

“First a Magikoopa, then a Wizzrobe. A plumber’s work is never done. Okay, Link. Don’t overheat your pipes.”

Carock neared Link and Zelda but halted suddenly when he noticed the Mario Brothers. “Oh, drat. The Marios! I guess that getting Link for Ganon and Agahnim will have to wait. Good‑bye, plumb-scum.” Carock disappeared in a flash of light.

“Wow,” Mario said. “Talk about a grand exit.”

“Thank you for scaring that over‑promoted Wizzrobe off, Mario,” said Link.

“No problem. Come on. Let’s find the others.”

* * *

In another part of the Nightmare Universe, Simon Belmont was looking for the rest of the N‑Team. “Hello? Princess Lana. Kid Icarus. MegaMan. Link. Princess Zelda. Samus Aran. Mario. Luigi. Toad. Princess Peach. Yoshi. Lieutenant Tragg. GameBoy. I’ll even settle for Captain N! Is anyone there?”

Dracula appeared out of the shadows. “Yes, Simon Belmont. I am here!” He laughed.

“Count Dracula! Drop dead, you diabolical deadbeat.” He got out a large gun and shot a wooden stake towards Dracula’s heart.

“Uh, oh!” Before he could turn to run, the wooden stake embedded itself in his heart. “Ugh! You win this time, Simon Belmont.” With a moan, he disappeared in a poof.

“Showed him,” said Simon.

Kid Icarus flew quickly onto the scene. “Help‑icus!”

“What is it?”

“Medusa is after me.”

Medusa appeared. The hissing of her snaky hair warned Simon and Kid Icarus not to turn around. “Yes! Turn around, gentlemen, and feast your eyes upon beautiful Medusa.”

Simon frowned in disgust. “Oh, look at yourself, you ugly snake-brain.” He got out his mirror and aimed the reflective part directly in front of Medusa’s face.

“No! I’m turning to stone!” She did the world that favor. Kid Icarus and Simon turned looked at the ugly statue that had once been Medusa. It then vanished, seemingly into thin air.

“Whew. Thank you, Simon‑ious,” Kid Icarus said. “I thought that she was going to stone me.”

“No problem. I’ve dealt with that witch before on CastleVania,” said Simon.

MegaMan ran into the area. “Help, Simon! The Rock Monster is after me.”

“I see nothing, MegaMan.”

“Watch closely.” Along came several modules of robotic stone that quickly formed the massive Rock Monster.

“Eat flame-whip, stone-face.” Simon got his whip, which was flaming like fire, and struck the Rock Monster’s eye. The Rock Monster crumbled into a pile of pebbles.

“Thank you, Simon. I thought for a minute there that I was going to be mega-mush.”

“Oh, it was nothing really.”

“Let’s look for the others before anything else happens.”

“Good idea, MegaMan. I’m glad you thought of it.” They went in search of the others.

* * *

Meanwhile, not far away, Samus Aran was exploring an area laden with dust webs. “I wonder where I am.” She ran into the closed mouth of the monstrous Queen Metroid. “What? Queen Metroid.”

“How correct you are, space-hunter,” Queen Metroid said. “I shall make you regret entering the Nightmare Universe. Ha, ha, ha!”

Captain N, Princess Lana, and Lieutenant Tragg came onto the scene. Kevin drew his Zapper. “How about I make you regret it, ugly Metroid Queen?” The Metroid opened its mouth wide open and prepared to take a bite out of Kevin, but Kevin blasted it in the mouth with a beam from his Zapper. He kept the trigger of his Zapper pulled until the beam almost destroyed the Metroid.

The Queen Metroid screamed. “Now, my worst nightmare is coming true.” The Queen Metroid warped back to Metroid with a hideous shriek.

“Thank you, Kevin,” Samus said. “I thought that I was going to be a Metroid’s snack.”

“No problem, Samus. Where are the others?”

“I haven’t seen them, Kevin. They must be somewhere else.” Simon, Kid Icarus, and MegaMan appeared on the scene.

“There you are,” Kevin said.

“Yes,” said Kid Icarus. “It is Simon to whom we owe our thanks‑icus. Medusa almost stoned me.”

“And the Rock Monster almost mega-rocked and rolled all over me,” MegaMan said. “Thanks to Simon’s flame-whip, he didn’t.”

“If I hadn’t had a gun that shoots wooden stakes, the Count Dracula would have taken a bite out of my neck,” Simon said.

Link, Zelda, Mario, Luigi, Toad, Peach, and Yoshi entered the scene. “Ah, there you are,” Link said.

“There must be some reason they sent us here again,” Kevin said. “They must be looking for something. I can feel it.”

“Why would we do anything for them?” Link asked.

“We won’t do it for them. I just want to know why in the blue blazing cosmos they sent us back here.”

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

At the Palace of Power, Roll had managed to open a view into the Nightmare Universe on the main computer monitor. Now, she, Della Street, and Hamilton Burger were watching the N‑Team’s activities there. “I just wish we could send a message to them,” Della said.

Ludwig warped in. “Maybe you can,” he said.

“Ludwig,” Burger said. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here to tell you how to send a message to your friends.”

“How can we trust you to do such a thing?” asked Roll.

“Either you trust me for a moment, or you will not get a message to your friends.”

“Okay, Ludwig,” Burger said. “Tell us how.”

“I’m glad you’re so reasonable.” Ludwig got out a pen and paper. He pressed a switch on the pen and laid it across the paper on a table. As he gave Roll, Della, and Hamilton the instructions, the pen automatically transcribed his words onto the paper. “First, you go into the operating system prompt on your computer. Then, type ‘@echo off,’ and press ENTER. Next, type ‘Nightmare Universe Exchange,’ and press ENTER. Then, press the button that connects the computer with the communicator. The computer will process for a moment, and then your prompt will appear again. You can then press the button marked ‘hologram projector’ on the communicator, then type ‘communicate with {whomever},’ then press ENTER, and voilà. Your hologram is projected in front of those with whom you wish to communicate, and their image appears on your screen or in your hologram projector. To end the whole thing at any time, just type ‘Return’ at the prompt. Now, if you do not mind, I have an appointment with the glorious MotherBrain. Good luck.” He left through the warp to Metroid. “Come when finished, my robotic pen.” After finishing writing the instructions, the pen entered the warp. The warp then closed.

Hamilton gazed after the writing instrument. “Boy. I’m sure that would be useful in the courtroom.” He, Della, and Roll followed Ludwig’s instructions to the letter. Within minutes, the N‑Team members in the Nightmare Universe appeared on their screen.

* * *

Nightmare Universe.

Captain N was amazed to see a hologram of Hamilton Burger, Della Street, and Roll materialize in front of him. “Mr. Burger, Miss Street, and Roll,” he exclaimed. “What are you doing here—or, rather, your holograms?”

“Oh, just call it some help from ol’ Ludwig,” Hamilton said.

“Anyway, we are communicating to tell you why they sent you into the Nightmare Universe again,” Della said.

“Finally,” Lana said. “Why?”

* * *

Rainbow Forest, Excalibur.

Later, in the Rainbow Forest on Excalibur, the remainder of the N‑Team was searching for the Brain-Team. “This place is beautiful for such a dangerous world,” Perry said.

MotherBrain emerged from some dense foliage. “You have the dangerous part correct, Mason.”

“MotherBrain.”

The rest of the Brain-Team emerged, as well. “Don’t forget me, Perry Mason,” Bowser said.

“Or us Koopalings,” Larry said.

Ludwig von Koopa warped into the scene. “Ah, Mr. Mason, Mr. Drake, Lieutenant Anderson, and Dr. Wright,” Ludwig said amiably. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Perry whispered to Andy. “I advise against testing his patience. If you do that, he might fly off the handle. Other than that, he is usually okay to deal with.” Andy nodded.

“I hope that our meeting is on peaceful terms, my dear Perry Mason,” Ludwig went on honestly.

“So do I.”

“Let’s see,” Andy said. “King Bowser Koopa and MotherBrain, I would like to see your marriage licenses. Just assurances, you understand.”

MotherBrain got a sheet of paper out of her tank. “Here it is, Lieutenant Anderson.”

Andy examined it. “Yes, this is legal.”

King Bowser Koopa removed a folded sheet of paper out of his wallet and unfolded that sheet. “Here is mine.”

Andy examined Bowser’s. “Okay. I was just making sure.”

Ludwig got out his wallet and let it open. It opened all the way to the ground and kept flipping open. “And just to please you, Lieutenant, I have all necessary licenses from a boating license to a driver’s license to a plane license to a spaceship license to a planet license.”

Andy was befuddled. “A planet license?”

“Oh. You probably haven’t heard of flying planets until now, since no one in your society flies any. But it’s required to legally move Metroid around VideoLand.”

“Interesting.”

Bowser’s mother bashed Bowser Koopa upside the head with her purse. “You are holding up the works, you bad little boy.”

“Yow!” Bowser cried. “Not in front of a respected doctor, a famous lawyer, a competent detective, an excellent policeman, and a nice doggie, Mama.”

His mother bashed him again. “And don’t call me that in front of them, foolish son.”

“Grandmother,” Ludwig said tersely. “Dad. Kindly reserve your dispute for the privacy of home.”

“Indeed,” said MotherBrain. “Can you two not behave like civilized people? We have missing people to find.”

“Eggy and I never hold up the works that badly,” King Hippo said.

MotherBrain whipped his rear end with her tentacle. To his credit, he did not complain. “Shut up. Instead of acting like idiots, we should be looking for the Spike Koopas.”

“Yes, MotherBrain,” Perry said.

“My dear Mr. Mason,” Ludwig said, “let’s get this over with before Dad and Grandmother kill each other.”

“My pleasure, Prince Ludwig.”

* * *

Nightmare Universe.

After Della, Hamilton, and Roll’s hologram had disappeared, Captain N considered what they had said. “This sounds weird,” he admitted.

“I just hope that the villains are on our side in this isolated circumstance,” Lana said. She pointed to a dark path leading away. “I think we go that way.”

“Let’s see,” Peach said as they got underway. “If I remember correctly, Spike Koopa has ten times more of a sense of justice than Bowser. At least, that is what my Koopa history professor told me when I asked him about it several years ago while I was in school. It is indisputable that their father, King Horatio Koopa, was a very wise, just, and benevolent ruler. In fact, he helped solve a succession dispute in the Toadstool family, thus allowing my father to assume rule of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

“We’ll find out when we get to the Excalibur region of this crazy universe,” said Princess Zelda.

* * *

Rainbow Forest, Excalibur.

Later, in that region of the normal universe, the Brain-Team, Perry, Paul, and Andy reached a strange fortress. “Well, Dr. Wily?” Ludwig asked patiently.

“This fortress is upside-down, all right, Prince Ludwig,” Dr. Wily said.

“An upside-down fortress. How odd!”

“Come around and look at the door.” They did so. The door was upside-down.

“Hmm. Let’s go in.”

MotherBrain reached up with her tentacle, turned a knob, and opened the door. They went into the fortress.

* * *

Nightmare Universe.

Meanwhile, the N‑Team arrived at the corresponding fortress in the Nightmare Universe. Here, the fortress was right-side up! “This fortress is tall,” Kevin observed.

Peach cried out. “Look!”

Everyone turned to see some sleeping bodies entering the fortress. “What in the world is going on?” Kevin said. “Dr. Wright, Mr. Mason, Mr. Drake, Duke, Lieutenant Anderson, and the Brain-Team are asleep, yet they are floating into this fortress.”

“This is a weird universe,” said Lana. “We first find out that what is asleep in this universe is awake in ours, yet what is awake in this universe is asleep in ours.”

Mario got out his radio. “I’ll radio Della and ask what in the world is going on.”

* * *

Royal Library, Palace of Power.

Back at the Palace, Roll, Della, and Hamilton were studying about the Nightmare Universe when they received the call from Mario. “Hello, Mario. What is it?” Della asked.

“Perry, Andy, Paul, Dr. Wright, Duke, and the Brain-Team are entering a fortress while asleep in the Nightmare Universe,” exclaimed Mario. “Can you explain this for us?”

“Well, according to this book I’m reading in the library, wherever a person is in the normal universe, their sleeping bodies in the Nightmare Universe enter the corresponding place in that universe. This has no physical effect on anything in the Nightmare Universe. Furthermore, many buildings that are right-side-up in the normal universe are uspide-down in the Nightmare Universe, so one may assume vice-versa. Also, the Nightmare Universe is a twisted reflection of this universe, as one might suspect, even more twisted than the Mirror World.”

“Della, here is something I find very interesting,” Hamilton Burger said. “According to the data I’m reading, the Spike Koopas disappeared in an upside-down fortress on Excalibur in the Rainbow Forest. The fortress, if placed right-side up, would be about a kilometer high!”

“Let’s call Perry,” Mario said. “I’m sure that he can help some.”

“Okay, Mario,” Della said. “We’re going to the throne room.” Roll, Della, and Hamilton took their books and went to the throne room.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

Once there, they performed a complex operation on the computer with Roll’s help and made three-way communications possible. Two holograms appeared before the N‑Team, two holograms before themselves, and two holograms before the people on Excalibur. The N‑Team appeared in one hologram before Roll, Della, and Hamilton and those on Excalibur. Roll, Della, and Hamilton appeared in one hologram before the N‑Team and those on Excalibur. And the ones on Excalibur appeared before Roll, Della, and Hamilton and the N‑Team, a truly complex operation.

“Whew. We did it, Hamilton,” Della said as the holograms resolved in the middle of the Throne Room.

Ludwig was surprised. “Huh? What’s going on here?”

“Roll helped us set up three-way communication,” Hamilton explained. “We didn’t know if this would work, but we gave it a shot.”

Kevin decided to save his amazement for later. “How are things going on your end, Prince Ludwig?” he asked.

“Well, Captain N, I think that we have found the fortress housing the Spike Koopas,” Ludwig said. “The decor suggests that. Do you want to know the odd thing about it all?”

“What?”

“The fortress is upside-down.”

“Something weird happened at this fortress we found. Your sleeping bodies entered!”

“What?”

“That was supposed to happen, according to a book I just read,” Della said.

“I even saw Duke,” Kevin said.

“Your dog is with Mr. Mason, Captain N,” Ludwig said.

“Also according to the book,” said Della, “several buildings which are right-side-up in the normal universe are upside-down in the Nightmare Universe, so vice-versa can be assumed. When someone is awake in the normal universe, their sleeping bodies in the Nightmare Universe are at the corresponding places but not necessarily vice-versa. Also the Nightmare Universe is a twisted replica of the normal universe.”

“Another interesting fact is in a data file that I was reading,” said Hamilton. “According to this history book, the Spike Koopas disappeared in an upside-down fortress in the Rainbow Forest on Excalibur and have never been seen since, and this fortress, if stood right-side up, would be approximately a kilometer high.”

“Data-scan on fortress indicates that it is also about a kilometer high,” GameBoy said.

“Wow,” Ludwig whispered. That was quite an accomplishment.

“That’s very interesting,” Perry said.

“Data-scan also indicates eight sentient Tortoisians in the top chamber,” GameBoy said.

“What about your data search, Dr. Wily?” Ludwig asked.

“My data search indicates the very same things, except the Tortoisians are in the bottom,” Wily said.

“Amazing,” Kevin said. Let’s get up there.” The N‑Team proceeded to the top of the fortress in the Nightmare Universe with the holograms following them. The Brain-Team, Perry, Andy, Paul, Wright, and Duke proceeded to the bottom of the fortress in the normal universe, also with the holograms following them.

* * *

Outer Chamber, Throne Room, Upside-Down Castle, Excalibur, VideoLand.

Ludwig halted briefly at the door leading to the Throne Room. “This door is interesting. It has pictures of all eight of the Spike Koopa family.”

“So does this one,” said Kevin.

“We shall go first.”

“Okay. Be careful. This could be a trap.”

“Very well. Thank you, Kevin.” Ludwig took his scepter and pushed open the door cautiously. He and his group saw the eight members of the Spike Koopa family sleeping in beds. “They are sleeping. That means that they must be awake in the Nightmare Universe. There is a warp zone in here. I wonder where it leads.”

“Don’t enter until we enter this room,” Link said. Suddenly, the doorknob turned in the outer chamber in the Nightmare Universe castle.

“Uh, oh,” Kevin said. “Let’s hide behind that statue.” The N‑Team hid behind a large statue in the room. Out came the eight Spike Koopas. They had exactly the same appearance as their Bowser Koopa counterparts, except that King Spike was leaner and a little more muscular than Bowser.

King Spike Koopa was evidently in a jolly mood. “We showed our evil family members the what‑for, didn’t we, Ludwig?”

“That we did, Dad,” Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said. “I wonder when we shall be able to meet the N‑Team.”

“I don’t know, my son. I don’t even know when—or if—we shall escape from this dreaded Nightmare Universe.”

“I haven’t awoken in years,” Larry (Spike)Koopa said.

Wendy O. (Spike)Koopa gasped when she noticed the sleeping forms in the room. “I wonder what the significance of the Bowser Koopa family’s presence in our room is,” she said.

“I haven’t the foggiest idea, Wendy,” said Spike. “I see some others, as well.”

“Well, I think that this not-so-beautiful body should get back to the normal universe.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Wendy, that you are not as ugly as you think?” Ludwig said.

“If we escape from here,” Spike said, “we shall try to find the N‑Team and help them teach the Brain-Team who’s boss. At least I did not have to get a brain transplant like my diabolically evil twin.”

“Ludwig, we need to warp out of the fortress,” Kevin said softly. “We don’t want to get caught as uninvited guests.”

“Right, Kevin,” Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa softly agreed.

“According the operating system manual, we can open and shut warps at will in that universe, though it’ll drain a bit of power,” Roll said. “I’ll give it a shot.” She keyed in some commands and opened a warp zone near the N‑Team. The team used it to warp outside the fortress. The hologram of the people on Excalibur and the one of Roll, Della, and Hamilton appeared outside the fortress with the N‑Team.

“They’ll probably come out this way,” Kevin said. “Let’s walk away for a bit, and then return as if we’re just arriving.”

“Good idea, Kevin,” Lana said.

“Perry, can you take these eight to the Palace?” Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said. “I have a feeling that they are on your side.”

“Certainly,” Perry said. “Della, please open a warp zone from here to the Palace.”

“Okay, Perry,” Della replied. She typed in a command that opened a warp between the fortress and the Palace. Perry, Paul, and Andy took King Spike Koopa, Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa, and Larry (Spike)Koopa to the Palace. The Bowser Koopas took the remaining Spike Koopas to the Palace and left. When the five re‑entered the chamber, they made a warp to Metroid, and the whole Brain-Team left.

Back in front of the corresponding fortress in the Nightmare Universe, the eight Spike Koopas exited just as Kevin had predicted. The N‑Team was wandering back toward the castle. “You were correct, Kevin,” Lana said. “They are all leaving.”

“The Rainbow Forest is certainly more beautiful on Excalibur in the normal universe than in this universe,” Peach observed.

“You’re correct, Princess Peach,” Lieutenant Tragg said. “There is hardly any light in this universe.”

“That is certainly correct,” Kevin said. “At any rate, we should not warp back to the Palace of Power until we meet King Spike Koopa and his Koopalings.”

Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa overheard him. “Ahem. Dad, those people there wish to meet us.”

“Really?” Spike said. “Then let’s go over and meet them, shall we?” They all went over to meet the N‑Team.

“Pardon me, but I overheard you say that you wished to meet with us,” Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said. “Am I correct?”

“Yes,” Kevin said. “Are you King Spike Koopa and his family?”

“Correct, I’m Spike Koopa,” Spike said. “Could you tell us where to find the N‑Team?”

“Well, Your Majesty, you have found the N‑Team. I am the leader, Captain N.”

“I am glad to meet you all.”

“I am Princess Lana of the Kingdom of VideoLand,” Lana said.

They made all introductions swiftly. Samus mentioned her career of obliterating MotherBrain’s menacing and disgusting underlings.

“I know of MotherBrain,” Spike said. “When Bowser was a baby, his brain had to be transplanted with someone’s, or it was going to take him with it when it died. MotherBrain was the one with whom Bowser had the transplant. MotherBrain had an amount of brain in excess to the amount that would fit in her jar. How her brain had to get into that jar in the first place is a totally different story. Agreeing to that was the worst mistake Mother ever made.”

“Yes,” Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said. “That’s what turned Uncle Bowser into such an evil tyrant. But please forgive my omission of the priority of introducing myself to you. I am Prince Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa.” His seven siblings proceeded to introduce themselves. “Pardon my interruption, but I also overheard of your ability to warp back to the normal universe. We’re dying to know how to get back.”

“Why, it’s easy, Prince Ludwig,” said Kevin. “All that you have to do is fall asleep.”

Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa slapped his own head. “Silly me! That’s the most obvious method in the book, and we could not think of it.”

“Oh, I feel so dumb,” exclaimed Spike.

“How long have you been looking for us?”

“About twelve hours,” Kevin said. “Some of our friends and the Brain-Team looked for you on Excalibur.”

“That’s where we made a secret fortress,” Spike said. “We knew that evil forces were going to look for us, so we hid there while we gathered our strength. We couldn’t make the same manner of weaponry that Bowser was able to within only several days, so we made a secret upside-down fortress there and prepared to make our weapons. Suddenly, an evil Magikoopa called Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr} put a deep-sleep spell on us, and we ended up here.”

“That evil Koopa wizard,” Mario snapped. “If I get my hands on that wicked sorcerer, I’ll make him regret the day he was born.”

“He said that my mother told him to come to our secret fortress and put a sleeping spell on us so that Bowser and his Koopalings could not get quick revenge on us,” Spike said.

“That was a lie. Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr} will say anything. He is one of the best liars we know. Right, Luigi?”

“Right, Mario,” Luigi said. “He’s the lyingest. Anyway, your bodies have safely been transported to the Palace of Power.”

“Whew,” Spike said. “Finally! Just in case your friends were worried about that warp zone, forget it. That only leads to big trouble: the very center of Planet Metroid, where MotherBrain keeps her most sophisticated Metroid strains, vicious mutations beyond Queen Metroid. And that’s a one-way warp. We created it in case we found out how to neutralize the Metroid creatures.”

“That might be a good thing to do,” Kevin said. “We met a Queen Metroid earlier in this nightmarish place. I fried her with my Zapper.”

“Very good. Now, then, we have not had any sleep in about a decade,” Spike said. “Do you mind if we sleep and continue at the Palace? This dreary place is worse than Dark Land.”

“I quite agree with you.” They all fell asleep.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

“I wonder when they’re going to awaken,” Dr. Wright said as he observed the slumbering N‑Team.

“I don’t know, Dr. Wright,” Andy said.

Duke sniffed Kevin and then barked.

“What is it, Duke?” Mason asked.

Duke barked again.

“You say he’s waking up?”

“Arf!”

“Perry, I keep wondering how you know what Kevin’s dog is saying,” Burger said.

“And I keep telling you, Kevin taught me,” said Perry. “Somehow, he can understand Duke. Maybe it is some mysterious trait swimming in the deep end of his gene pool.”

“Great figure of speech, Perry.”

The N‑Team and the Spike Koopas began to open their eyes. “We’re back,” Kevin said. Sitting up, he patted his dog’s head. “Hey, Duke. Hello, Mr. Mason.”

“Hello, Kevin,” Perry said. “So, what are the Spike Koopas: friends or foes?”

“Friends.”

“Nice palace you have here, Princess Lana,” Spike said.

“Thank you, King Spike,” Lana said.

“Please allow me to introduce myself, King Spike,” said Perry. “My name is Perry Mason. I am a legal attorney.”

“I am his secretary, Della Street,” Della said.

“I’m his detective, Paul Drake.”

“I am Hamilton Burger,” Burger said. “I am also an attorney, but I generally prosecute.”

“I am Lieutenant Andy Anderson.”

“This is my dog, Duke,” said Kevin.

“I am Doctor Xavier Wright of the medical and cybernetic sciences.”

“I’m Roll, MegaMan’s robotic sister,” said Roll.

“Rush,” MegaMan called. “Here, boy!” Rush, MegaMan’s mechanical dog, ran into the room and halted next to MegaMan. “This is my dog, Rush. He laughs in the face of danger. Let me demonstrate.” MegaMan took a poster-board that looked like a man dressed in black with the name ‘Danger’ across his shirt.

Rush went up to the face of ‘Danger.’ After regarding it for a moment, he laughed.

“Very cute, MegaMan,” Burger said.

“I am King Spike Koopa,” Spike said.

“I am Prince Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa.”

“I am Larry (Spike)Koopa.”

“I am Roy (Spike)Koopa.”

“I am Wendy O. (Spike)Koopa.”

“I am Morton (Spike)Koopa.”

“I am Lemmy (Spike)Koopa—”

“—and I am his twin brother, Iggy (Spike)Koopa.”

“Now that we know each other’s names, will you try out to become members of the N‑Team?” Lana asked.

“We’d be delighted,” Spike said. “Is there some manner of test or training?”

“Not really. The only requirements are to be on our side.”

“That’s one that I’ll gladly follow.”

Wisenheimer appeared in a hologram. “Why do you guys think that I sent them into the Nightmare Universe to begin with? I did it so that they would not interfere with MotherBrain and King Bowser Koopa.”

“How could I?” demanded Spike. “The smart parents of Princess Lana and Princess Peach sealed that warp between VideoLand and the Mushroom World so that MotherBrain and Bowser could not get mingled with each other. In fact, the very reason I made that underground fortress in Excalibur was so that Bowser could not get me while my Koopalings and I made weapons equal to his. We planned to help King Charles arrest or, if necessary, destroy MotherBrain. Instead, you interfered, lied to me about my mom asking you to seal us into the Nightmare Universe—”

“And you fools fell for it! I did that so you could not interfere with King Bowser’s and MotherBrain’s gradual re‑opening of that warp. It took nine years for Ludwig and Wily to finish re‑opening that warp zone. And now you N‑Team pests have ruined everything by telling the Spike Koopas how to arrive back in this universe! I ought to destroy myself after all that work down the drain!” He disappeared in agitation.

Mario snorted. “Then why don’t you, Wise-acre?”

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

Once again, the Brain-Team was watching on their Metroid-monitor. They were enraged when they saw what had transpired. “So!” MotherBrain snapped. “It was Wisenheimer {wahy-zehn-hahy-mur} who sealed them in the Nightmare Universe.”

However, MotherBrain was angry not so much because he had done it. In fact, it had been part of her careful plan. The plan had included making Bowser and his children forget about Spike. What infuriated her was that he had spilled it to the N‑Team.

“Oh, that stupid, ignorant, foolish, moronic idiot,” Bowser’s mother snapped. Indeed, she was truly angry. She had once trusted Wisenheimer with both her sons’ lives.

“Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr}, I command you to appear before me immediately!” Bowser shouted.

Wisenheimer appeared in the room. He looked to MotherBrain in appeal, but she gave him a hard look. “Don’t you see, King Bowser?” the wizard asked. “I had to do it so that you could take over VideoLand with MotherBrain.”

“If you had any different excuse for your actions, I would destroy you on the spot.”

“You mean you won’t kill me?”

“No. I’ve suddenly decided to let our stooges have a little fun for a change. Eggplant Wizard, get in here!”

In came the Eggplant Wizard. “What is your command, King Bowser the Simply Awful?”

“Ah. I love it when people address me so properly. Get your string bean whip and flog Wisenheimer {wahy-zehn-hahy-mur}—”

“Wisenheimer {Vih-zehn-hahy-mehr}!” Wisenheimer corrected irately.

“—Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr} until he has no feeling left in that fat butt of his!”

Eggplant Wizard looked from Bowser to MotherBrain to Ludwig. “Uh, there’s a catch here, isn’t there?”

“Yes, but not for you,” MotherBrain said.

Eggplant Wizard grinned. “Finally, I get to do what the bosses do.”

“To whom, to me?” Wisenheimer asked.

“Yes, you, you idjut,” MotherBrain said. Ludwig grabbed Wisenheimer’s magic wand. Then, MotherBrain tied Wisenheimer to the wall with his butt sticking out.

Eggplant Wizard whipped Wisenheimer’s rear with his soggy string bean whip. “Ha, ha, ha! This is fun. I’m going to whip you so badly that all of your nerves will come popping out of your tush.”

“Ow! You blasted vegetable! Ow! You’ll pay for this!” Wisenheimer cried.

Bowser laughed. “Do it again. And again. And again! Whip him as badly as you want. King Hippo, we would like your assistance!”

King Hippo entered. “Wow! Is this a private matter, or can I join in the fun?”

“Join in. Bash his big rear so badly that he will regret that he had it. Ha, ha, ha!”

“I finally get to do what the big guys do,” King Hippo laughed. “All right, Wisenheimer {wahy-zén-hé-ahy-mér}.” He intentionally mispronounced the name. “I’ll show you what a punch is. And I’ll show you what you get for correcting everyone all of the time!”

Eggplant Wizard stopped whipping long enough for King Hippo to bash Wisenheimer’s rear several times. After that, the two took turns, and it was a good ending for all who beheld. The only one who did not laugh at all was Wisenheimer—one might say that he got it in the end.

Wisenheimer’s screams tore through Metroid.