21--RMWVL, Part 4, Ch.2

August 1.

Computer Station Area, Throne Room, Palace of Power.

ack at the Palace of Power, MegaMan, Kid Icarus, and Samus Aran were watching the television reports on MegaMan’s monitor. “Do you think that the others have found Her High‑nicus yet?” Kid Icarus asked.

“I hope so,” MegaMan said. “I have a very distinct feeling that something mega-bad is about to happen again.” His monitor went blank. “It looks like someone is interfering with the antenna again.”

The screen flashed to an Eggplant Bulletin. Eggplant Wizard appeared on the TV screen. “We bring you another special Eggplant Bulletin. The Palace of Power is under attack once more.”

“There’s no one here but us, Eggplant Wizard,” Samus said.

“Think again,” Ludwig’s voice said. Ludwig, Eggplant Wizard, and King Hippo popped out of the television. “Here we are, courtesy of Dr. Wily’s television warp zone remote control.”

“Oh, yeah?” MegaMan said. “Let me at King Hippo. I’ll mega-punch him and mega-kick him and mega-chop him.”

King Hippo held MegaMan off with his huge, gloved hand. “Yeah? Well, I’ll give you a mega belly bump.” King Hippo used his huge belly to bash MegaMan to the end of the table.

Kid Icarus drew his harp. “Oops! Wrong item.” He put his harp away and drew his bow. “All right, you rotten eggplant. You’re going to serve time in the Palace Jail.”

Eggplant Wizard got out his racquet. “Oh, yeah? Not if I serve you first.” When Kid Icarus reached for an arrow to shoot at Eggplant Wizard, Eggplant Wizard grabbed him, tossed him in the air, and whacked him into MegaMan with the racquet.

“Come on, Ludwig,” Samus said. “Let’s see whose weapon is worse. On the count of five, fire.”

“All right, Samus,” said Ludwig. He drew his scepter, and Samus selected her missile cannon. “Eggy, count to five as you normally do.”

“Are you sure, Your Highness?” Eggplant Wizard asked. “You always complain about my counting.”

Ludwig tendered Samus a malicious smile. “On this occasion, it’s perfect.”

“Very well. One, two, three, four, four and a half, four and three quarters, six, seven, nine, eight, ten, five!” On the count of five, Ludwig fired his scepter and shot Samus backwards into Kid Icarus and MegaMan. The impact knocked Samus’s visor up. “Nice going, future Emperor Ludwig, O evil boss. You know, Samus, you really should never have gotten out of bed this morning.” Eggplant Wizard produced three of Wily’s deep-sleep apples. “And I call this my mackintosh backhand.” He hit the apples into the good guys’ mouths. The three good guys fell asleep. Eggplant Wizard removed his squash-radio from his pocket. “Eggplant Wizard calling Big MamaBrain. Mission accomplished.”

* * *

Nightmare World.

In the Nightmare World, Kevin and Duke were wandering around in what appeared to be a dark, misty corridor. “Princess Lana, where are you?” Kevin called.

“Kevin,” Lana cried. “Keep away!”

When Kevin found her, she was turned away from him. “Lana.” She turned around, and Kevin saw that her face had turned into a striking resemblance of MotherBrain’s ugly face. He gasped in shock.

“I’ve turned into a monster. I’m too horrible to look at.” She covered her face. When Kevin pulled her arms gently to pull her hands from her face, it turned back to normal.

“No,” he said tenderly. “It’s just a bad dream. How are you?” She hugged him tightly. He longed to kiss her, but in this circumstance, he was unsure whether she would appreciate it.

“I’m fine now, Kevin. I should have remembered that the nightmare wasn’t real. What has happened?”

“I guess they got all of us in the Nightmare World. Come on. Let’s look for the others.”

* * *

Meanwhile, in another part of the Nightmare World, MegaMan was battling with the deadly, below-freezing IceMan. “Give up, you ice-spitting freak,” MegaMan said.

“Oh, yeah, Mega‑jerk? Well, let’s see you stop cold,” said IceMan. He fired a white beam at MegaMan and coated him in freezing ice.

MegaMan cried out. “W‑w‑what have y‑y‑y‑you d‑d‑d‑done t‑t‑t‑to m‑m‑me?” He began to shiver violently.

“I have given you, say, the cold shoulder. Good-bye!” Laughing, IceMan disappeared.

“W‑w‑w‑well, I guess that I ought to f‑f‑f‑find K‑k‑k‑k‑kid Icarus.”

* * *

Meanwhile, Kid Icarus was flying around looking for MegaMan. The indistinct surroundings did not help him any with navigating the area. “I wonder where I am.” Suddenly, his bow and arrows flew out in front of him. “Hey! Get back here.” The bow fired arrows at Kid Icarus and hit him several times as he attempted to flee. He shouted as one arrow grazed his posterior. “That is the last time I get an automatic bow.”

* * *

Meanwhile, in another part of Nightmare World, Simon wandered onto a stage in front of an audience of monsters. “Well, this does not seem like such a nightmarish place.” Suddenly, his shirt and gloves floated up off him, revealing his buff torso.

“And now, ladies and gentlemonsters, we present Simon ‘The Body’ Belmont,” an announcer said.

Simon flexed his muscles. “Nightmare nothing! This is quite a terrific dream.” He heard a sloshing sound. “Hmm. Something seems to be leaking.” He saw his bicep bulge under his arm. “Yaaah! My muscles. Not my beautiful teeth.” With this, his teeth fell out, then his hair, and, on top of it all, pimples formed on his face. “No! Get back where you belong, you stupid hairs. Simon Belmont has never had pimples.” He looked at himself in his mirror. “Yaaah! Not that. I . . . I’m disgusting. This is a nightmare. I’m getting out of here.” He fled at top speed. Before long, he collided with MegaMan, still frozen, and Kid Icarus, still with arrows sticking in him. “Yaaah! I’ve just re‑had the worst nightmare of my whole life.”

“Me, too,” Kid Icarus said. “I dreamt again that my bow and arrows attacked me.”

“And I dreamt once more that IceMan gave me a m‑m‑m‑m‑mega-overdose of his Ice S‑s‑s‑slasher.”

Then, Captain N and Princess Lana found them. “Hey, guys,” Kevin said. “I assume that you have met your nightmares. Princess Lana, Duke, and I have.”

“We still haven’t found the others,” MegaMan said. He heard Samus rapidly approaching and yelling for help. “Um, check that.” Samus Aran entered the area, but she was not alone; she had a Metroid on her head!

“Samus, what happened?” Kevin asked.

“What’s it look like?” Samus demanded in distress. “Get this bloody Metroid off me! I have no missiles or bombs.”

“Don’t worry. My Zapper will fix that Metroid.” Captain N fried the Metroid with five blasts from his Zapper. “Whew. There we go. That was definitely your worst nightmare.”

“It sure was. MegaMan, Kid Icarus, Simon, Princess Lana, Duke, and Captain N are accounted for, but not Zelda and Peach. Where is Link now?”

“I don’t know. Link is supposed to be in the Kingdom of Hyrule to blast a Moblin that was terrifying the populace. Of course, Ludwig could have made up a trick in Hyrule, and that Moblin business may have been a ruse. That would mean—” Then, Captain N heard Link approaching and yelling. “—that Link is here.” Link ran onto the scene with a Moblin on his tail. Captain N destroyed the Moblin with his Zapper.

“Thank you, Kevin,” Link said. “I thought that I was going to be a hero sandwich for that Moblin.”

“What happened to Hyrule, Link?”

“Larry ‘Cheatsy’ Koopa and Roy ‘Bully’ Koopa happened. They made a Moblin to lure me to the Lost Forest. Then, the two Koopa brats appeared, fed me one of their poison apples, and made me fall asleep. Apparently, I landed in this nightmare.”

“Just as I thought. With us stuck here in the Nightmare Universe, VideoLand is ripe for the plucking by those evil—” He had no time to finish. He heard yelling from Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi.

“Back, you Magikoopa,” Mario’s voice shouted. He, Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi ran into the area.

“Here you are,” Kevin said.

“Let’s save the tearful reunion until after we fix Wisenheimer {wahy-zehn-hahy-muhr}.”

The Koopa wizard whom Mario had mentioned came onto the scene. Like other Magikoopas, he wore spectacles and a blue robe from his head to his feet. The robe included a floppy wizard’s hat for his head. His mouth was like a beak. “That is Wisenheimer {vih-zehn-hahy-mehr}! The name is German, you pernicious plumber.”

“Wisen {wahy-zehn} whatever.” Wisenheimer hurled a spell at Mario and turned him into a block. Kevin drew his Zapper.

“Okay, wizard-wise-guy,” Kevin said. “Eat video electrons.” He fired his Zapper and shocked the Koopa wizard.

“Now my worst dream is coming true,” Wisenheimer said. As he screamed, he dematerialized, and Mario was changed back to normal.

“Now I know why they call you, ‘Captain N: The Game Master,’ ” Mario said. “You are the Game Master.”

“Thank you, Mario,” Kevin said. “Where are the other two princesses?”

“My sensors are picking up some more screaming,” MegaMan said. The two princesses ran into the area.

“What’s the matter?” Kevin asked.

“A Lanmola,” Zelda cried.

“A Lanmola?” Link said. “That would have been among my worst nightmares.” A large Lanmola entered the area. “Eat sword-ray, caterpillar-face.” Link fired a strong beam from his sword, destroying the Lanmola.

“Thank you for saving us from that overgrown centipede, Link,” Peach said.

“Now that we’re together, maybe we can leave this nightmare on von Koopa Street,” MegaMan said.

“Princess Lana and I have searched everywhere,” Kevin said. “We’ve found no warp zones. MotherBrain may be right. We may be stuck here forever. I forgot how we left last time.”

“Oh, no,” Simon moaned. “Does that mean that I’ll never get my great looks back? If I’d never eaten that stupid apple, I may have never entered this sleepless nightmare.”

“That’s it! I remember now. There’s a warp zone into and out of this world. If we fall asleep in this world, we’ll wind up back in our world, since we woke up in this world by going to sleep in our world. It worked before.”

Mario said, “I’ll try anything to be able to taste spaghetti noodles again.” They all fell asleep. Simon had a teddy bear from his backpack.

* * *

Royal Portraits Room, Palace of Power.

Meanwhile, at the Palace of Power, MotherBrain and the Koopas had already taken up residence. The villains were now hard at work making updates that they deemed overdue in the royal portrait gallery. “Right there, no, there, no, that’s it! Right there,” MotherBrain said to direct Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo in putting up a picture of her. Ludwig came in. “Ah, my son. What do you think?”

Ludwig gazed upon the painting of MotherBrain. “Ah, an excellent tribute to your beauty, Your Braininess.”

“Wonderful. Run out and get our picture of Ludwig, Eggplant Wizard.”

“Yes, Your Wrinkledness,” the wizard said. MotherBrain zapped him in the back. “Yow! What was that for?”

“I keep telling you never to say the word ‘wrinkles’ in reference to me, Eggplant Wizard. These are beauty lines. I shouldn’t have to tell you again. Now, get going.”

“Yes, MotherBrain.” Eggplant Wizard hopped out. He came back with the specified picture.

“Good. Now, hang it next to the glorious portrait of me, on the right side. No, your other right! There. Hang it there. What do you think, Ludwig?”

“It is a good painting, if I do say so myself,” Ludwig said. “A painting of my handsome self requires only to be hung next to a painting of any member of my great-looking clan, including you, my dear MotherBrain.”

“Thank you, Ludwig. I knew that someone I met along the way would realize that I’m beautiful. It’s statistically inevitable.”

“I don’t know,” Eggplant Wizard said. “It looks like there’s a stain on your brain. Don’t worry. King Hippo and I are expert brainwashers, aren’t we, Hippo?”

“Yes,” King Hippo said. “Let’s show her, Eggy.” Eggplant Wizard produced a sudsy mop and began washing MotherBrain’s bottle.

“What are you doing?” asked MotherBrain.

“We’re washing the stains off your brain, MotherBrain,” King Hippo said. A portion of the suds were pulled away for a second. Briefly, MotherBrain saw Eggplant Wizard grinning like the idiot he was in front of this window before it became clouded in bubbles again.

“The stains on brains stay mainly in the plains,” King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard sang without melodic tone.

Once the suds were cleaned off her bottle, MotherBrain faced the idiots with a livid scowl. “I’ll stain your brains if you do not get out there and bring me the rest of those paintings. Now!” Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo left immediately to get the rest of the paintings. When they returned, they put them on the wall next to Ludwig’s and MotherBrain’s portraits. “Ah, a regular set of masterpieces.”

“I quite agree,” Ludwig said. “We’ve transformed this dreary mausoleum of useless paintings into an art gallery. Of course, we’re so gorgeous that even a novice painter would create a masterpiece in painting a portrait of any one of us.”

* * *

Throne Room.

A little later, the villains congregated in the throne room. “I propose a toast to Queen MotherBrain, King Dad Koopa, and Prince Baron Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa,” Larry said. “May they live long and prosper.”

Roy, Wendy, Morton, Lemmy, Iggy, Eggplant Wizard, King Hippo, and Dr. Wily simultaneously raised their wine glasses. “Here, here!”

“Oh, kids,” MotherBrain said with misty eyes. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“It is a tribute to our conquest of VideoLand and to your beauty, Queen MotherBrain,” Wendy said.

“And let us not forget the master architect of this devious plan,” Ludwig said. “That person is Prince Morton Koopa, Jr. We have gathered not to steal the credit for his plan, but to praise him.”

“Hip-hip hooray,” everyone cried. “Three cheers for Prince Morton Koopa, Jr.” The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” King Hippo said. At the door, there was a person in peasant robes with a big bin behind him. “Who’s there?”

“I bring a gift for the new rulers of VideoLand,” the peasant said. King Hippo let him in. MegaMan brought in a wagon of apples.

“Look, Queen MotherBrain,” Hippo said. “It’s a gift from our humble subjects.”

Captain N leapt out of the apples. “Guess again, boxing glove breath.”

“It is the N‑Team,” cried Ludwig.

“A+, Ludwig!”

“Fools,” Roy snapped. “I’ll have to teach you a lesson.”

Lana took one of the apples. “And I have an apple for the teacher.” She tossed the apple into Roy’s open mouth. The bully sank into slumber.

“I’ll out-clown you N‑Team do‑dos,” Lemmy said.

Mario took another of the apples. “And I have a fruit to toss at the worst clown act.” Mario tossed this apple into Lemmy’s open mouth. Lemmy fell over and knocked out Iggy and Morton.

“What are we going to do, Larry?” Wendy asked.

“Don’t worry,” Larry said. “I am the master of cheating.”

“Good,” Luigi said. “I have some juice for the cheaters.” Luigi took two apples, squeezed them very hard, and squirted apple juice up Larry’s and Wendy’s noses. After a sneeze, they fell asleep.

“Let’s see you good guys get me,” Ludwig said.

“Okay, Ludwig,” said MegaMan. “Hey. Aren’t those musical notes coming off your head?”

Ludwig’s mouth gaped open as he looked up. “Musical notes? Where are they? I may need them for a concerto.” MegaMan threw an apple into Ludwig’s mouth. The apple entered as the evil prince was saying, ‘concerto.’ “Oops.” Ludwig fell asleep.

“Uh, oh,” Bowser said. “You’re not getting me.” He took an apple. “I’m getting myself!” He bit the apple. Eggplant Wizard, King Hippo, and Dr. Wily gaped at him, so Simon tossed apples into their mouths.

“I’ll have to deal with you all by myself,” said MotherBrain. Captain N started juggling three apples in front of her. She laughed. “Those apples can’t hurt me, Captain N. I’m surrounded with protective glass.” Captain N threw the apples on her jar so that the juice would stream down and seep in.

“Not apples, MotherBrain,” Kevin said. “Apple juice!”

“No!” she cried as she fell asleep. She began snoozing. MegaMan opened a warp to take all the Brain-Team members back to Metroid.

“That ought to give them nightmares for a while,” Kevin said.

“VideoLand owes you yet another debt of gratitude, Kevin,” Lana said.

“That won’t be necessary, Princess. But there is one thing.”

“What is that?”

“Well, I felt a little disappointed when I couldn’t awaken you with a kiss.”

“Don’t you remember, Kevin?” She kissed him on the cheek. “I’d much rather get kissed while I’m awake.” She wanted to give him a real kiss rather than just a peck on the cheek, but she wouldn’t do it in front of anyone else. She would also feel uncomfortable expressing to Kevin her intimate feelings for him. She knew she would have to get over this. The only ones who knew her feelings for him were Zelda, Peach, and Kid Icarus. How long would it be before he found out? Would he respond with the same feelings?

“Hey,” Simon said. “That’s not fair. I came to your rescue, too. Where’s my kiss?” Duke barked, jumped up in Simon’s arms, and licked his face.

Captain N laughed. “You’re getting your kisses, Simon. Dog kisses!”

“Yuck! I’m being poisoned.” Everyone else laughed.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

On Planet Metroid, everyone had awakened by the time morning rolled around. MotherBrain felt livid. “I’m going to get that blasted Captain N for this. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll get him!”

“It probably will be the last thing you do, MotherBrain,” said Eggplant Wizard. She doubted whether he was thinking about what he was saying.

“I think I know what’s coming,” King Hippo said.

“It is all your fault, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo,” MotherBrain said. “Get out of my sight right now.” As the fools ran, MotherBrain zapped them with powerful electrical shocks.

“They have some nerve,” Ludwig said.

“Those incompetent nimrods certainly do,” said MotherBrain.

“You’re right, but I was talking about the N‑Team. We must crush them into oblivion. Now that I know what my worst fear is, I’m telling no one.”

“Good idea, Ludwig. It is wise not to tell anyone of your worst fear. That way, no one can use it against you.”

“True. I still feel that there’s something wrong, though. Something about my worst nightmare worries me, gives me the creeps. Well, I shall put it out of my mind for now. If it actually happens, I’ll remember.” In came King Bowser Koopa. “Hello, Father.”

“Hello,” Bowser said. “Was there something peculiar in your worst nightmare, Ludwig?”

“Yes, Dad. Why?”

“What was that peculiarity?”

“I’ll only tell the two of you. Someone who looked precisely like me defeated me. Some sort of duplicate.”

“That’s what I feared. Your siblings and I had the same kind of nightmare.”

“You mean a duplicate of Larry defeated Larry, one of Wendy defeated Wendy, and so on?”

“Yes.”

“That seems like it would have been a weird and distressing dream,” MotherBrain said. “I, however, dreamt something entirely different.” She frowned. “That stinking Captain N!”

“I would expect as much,” Ludwig said.

“MotherBrain, let’s get Dr. Wily to look up a record of all birth certificates of citizens born in VideoLand and the Mushroom World,” Bowser said.

“Why?” she asked.

“I have a funny feeling about this.”

“A funny feeling? Is all well, my dear?”

“My mom has told me of a lost Koopaling of hers. A son to which something happened. She said that he looked precisely like me, but somehow, he disappeared. He was my twin. I don’t know what happened to him or what his name was.”

“Yes,” Ludwig said. “She’s told me, also.”

“I see,” MotherBrain said. “I understand that you must have thought it unnecessary to tell me before now.” Actually, she knew about it, too. She knew far more than she was telling them.

“True,” Bowser said.

“Then I’ll go talk to Dr. Wily,” MotherBrain said. She rolled out of the room towards Wily’s lab.

* * *

Bowser turned to Ludwig. “Ludwig, call Mother and ask her to come over, please.” Did I really ask that?

He and his mother did not have the best relationship. She did not exactly approve of his evil activities, but then she had no power stop him. Her benevolent husband, the former King of Koopas, had died, and thus Bowser now had the throne. However, the Koopa nobles, who had almost no power, disapproved of Bowser’s wicked rule, while the military was overwhelmingly on Bowser’s side.

“Yes, Father, I’ll call your mother,” said Ludwig. Ludwig went to his super-computer and pressed a button on the control panel. He lifted up a phone receiver and dialed. After a pause, someone answered. “Hello, Grandmother? This is Ludwig. Dad would like you to come over. . . . Okay. Thank you. Bye.” He hung up.

“What did she say?”

“She said that she would be right over.”

A few minutes later, MotherBrain returned to the room. “Wily is searching his database,” she said.

“All right,” Ludwig said. “We’ve called my grandmother and asked her to come over.” Just as Eggplant Wizard was entering, the doorbell rang. “Eggplant Wizard, go get it.”

“Yes, Prince Ludwig.” Eggplant Wizard cautiously opened the door a fourth of the way. “Who’s there?”

Bowser’s mother thrust the door open and smashed Eggplant Wizard between the door and the wall. “Out of the way, lowlife.” She entered, closed the door, and inadvertently stepped on Eggplant Wizard’s foot with the heel of her high-heel shoe.

“Yow!” Eggplant Wizard screamed.

“Oh, shut up, idiot. I came to see Bowser.”

“Right here, Mother,” Bowser said. He was in no mood to argue with her today, so he would be careful not to say something stupid.

“Howdy, Bowser. You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, my dear mother.”

Ludwig moved his chair in front of Mother Koopa. “Have a seat, Grandmother,” he said.

“Thank you, Ludwig.” She sat down. “Thank you for asking me over, Bowser. I feel comfortable in such dark surroundings. Why did you want to see me?”

“You see, Mother, in our last defeat, the blasted N‑Team sent us all into the Nightmare Universe. There, all of my Koopalings and I were beaten by ourselves in our worst nightmares. I was beaten by myself, Ludwig was beaten by Ludwig, and so on, just like that.”

“Interesting. Well, it is time I told you the identity of your long-lost twin brother, Bowser. He looked exactly like you, except for a very distinct birthmark on the bottom of his foot. It looked like your face with an ‘S’ in the open mouth. By the same token, you have a distinct birthmark on the back of your tail. It looks like your face with a ‘B’ in the open mouth.”

Bowser looked at the back of his own tail.. “True, Mother.”

Ludwig followed suit. “Why, I have it, also. It’s faint, though.”

“You see, Bowser, those birthmarks are the means by which I named you. I named you ‘Bowser’ because you had a ‘B’ in your birthmark. Your brother had an ‘S’ in his birthmark, so I named him ‘Spike.’ Your father originally wanted to name you Bartholomew and Stephen, but he liked my suggestions of Bowser and Spike when I made them.”

“I see. Then I have to thank you for not letting me go through life with a name like Bart. Have you a clue as to the whereabouts of my brother?”

“No. He disappeared without a trace. When I studied about the Nightmare Universe, I noticed that only one of one person can be in there at a time, so it must have been your brother that was there. Of course, there could be illusions of a person whom you know or imagine.”

“My father’s brother with offspring who have precisely the same looks as we,” Ludwig said. “Most intriguing.”

“I wonder where he is sleeping in this universe,” Mother Koopa said.

In came Dr. Wily, followed by ProtoMan and Ridley. “MotherBrain, I checked the birth records as you requested,” the scientist said.

“What did you find, Wily?” Bowser asked.

ProtoMan handed a sheet of paper to Wily. “These are records I printed,” Wily said. “I found a twin brother of yours called King Spike Koopa.”

“Ah, yes,” Mother Koopa said. “Another thing. Spike was two seconds older than you, Bowser, so he was my older Koopaling.”

“So, he was the next one to become King of the Koopas,” Wily said. “Hence, he would have become the King Koopa, had he not disappeared before his and King Bowser’s father died.”

“In fact, the two events were nearly simultaneous,” Mother Koopa said. She had some suspicions, but it would be most unwise to mention them in present company. Particularly with MotherBrain present. She could not truly believe that her son found the evil cerebrum beautiful. But being aware of the true depths of MotherBrain’s evil power, she wanted to avoid becoming her enemy.

“I also found something else that is very interesting.” Wily wheezed. “Pardon. According to my data search, he hatched up seven Koopalings in the following order: Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa; Larry (Spike)Koopa; Roy (Spike)Koopa; Wendy Ostentatia (Spike)Koopa; Morton (Spike)Koopa, Jr.; and Lemmy and Iggy (Spike)Koopa.”

“Uncanny,” Ludwig said.

“Double-uncanny,” Bowser said.

“Yeah,” said MotherBrain. “Like they said.”

“And the most amazing fact of all is that they are all the same age as King Bowser’s Koopalings, with the same time difference between births,” Ridley said.

“Do you have any other information?” Bowser asked.

“Not yet, but Dr. Wily’s computer is performing another data search,” ProtoMan said. “It’ll come up with some more information in a few hours.”

“Thank you,” Ludwig said. “You are dismissed, Dr. Wily.” Wily bowed and then left.

“Do you want King Hippo and me to do something about this, Prince Ludwig?” Eggplant Wizard asked.

“Yes, Eggplant Wizard. I appreciate you volunteering. I would like you two to search all over VideoLand and see if you can find that other side of the family. And above all, be discreet.”

“As you wish, O evil master.” Eggplant Wizard turned to the door. “Hey, King Blobbo! We have a job to do.” King Hippo waddled into the room. He was much wider than usual. “Whoa. What happened to you?”

“I found Ludwig’s two hundred cases of Pepsi-Cola,” King Hippo said. “I guess I got carried away drinking.”

“I would say so.”

“I’ve always suspected that gluttony is one of your vices,” Ludwig said. “Get underway.”

“Let’s go, King Hippo,” Eggplant Wizard.

“What’s our task?” asked King Hippo.

“We’re going to look for King Bowser’s long lost brother,” Eggplant Wizard said.

“Where shall we search first?”

Ludwig thought. “Try the Koopa Kingdom in the Mushroom World.”

“All right. Come on, Eggplant in the face.”

“Okay, he who is larger than ten billion houses,” Eggplant Wizard said. They left for the Mushroom World warp.

Ludwig turned to MotherBrain. “Do you think that I ought to check my Pepsi-Cola supply?”

“I would,” said MotherBrain. As Ludwig left to check his Pepsi-Cola supply, Eggplant and Hippo entered the warp zone to Koopa Kingdom in the Kingdom of the Mushroom World.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

A beep sounded at Kid Icarus’s console. “Someone just passed through a warp zone to the Mushroom World.”

“Who?” Kevin asked.

Kid Icarus typed in a command at his computer console. He read what came up on the screen in a few seconds. “It says that Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo have just warped from Metroid to Koopa Kingdom on the Mushroom World.”

“Come on, N‑Team,” Mario said. “Let’s clog their evil pipes. Want to come, Perry Mason?”

“Oh, no thank you,” Mason said. “I would much rather stay and make sure that MotherBrain stays out of your way.”

“That goes for me, too,” Paul Drake said.

“I’ll stay, too,” Della Street said.

“Me, too,” said Hamilton Burger.

“Well, I guess that I ought to at least come along and see that those two idiots, the king of rotten fruit and the punching dummy, cause no trouble,” Lieutenant Tragg said. Many of the N‑Team entered the warp to Koopa Kingdom.

* * *

Koopa Kingdom, north of Dark Land, Mushroom World.

The team emerged in front of a boiling lava pool. The hot lava shone faintly in the dark country. “Whew,” Mario said. “That is hot.”

The land all around was brown and treeless. Lana looked at a hill behind where they had emerged. “Hey! There they are.”

King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard spotted the team even as Lana noticed them. “It’s the N‑Team,” Eggplant Wizard said. He got out his squash-radio. “This is Eggplant Wizard calling Big MamaBrain. Please come in.”

“This is MotherBrain, Eggplant Wizard. What is it?”

“The N‑Team followed us here.”

“I’ll get backup out there immediately.”

“Thank you, MotherBrain.” Before he could put his squash-radio away, Kevin blasted it to bits with his Zapper. “My squash-radio! Blast you, Captain Nerd.”

“Save the sweet talk, Eggplant Wizard,” Kevin said. “Why are you here?”

“Tell them, and I’ll turn you into an eggplant, King Hippo.”

“I ain’t tellin’ them, Eggplant Wizard, and you’d better not, either,” King Hippo said.

Ludwig, Larry, Roy, Wendy, Morton, Lemmy, and Iggy warped to the scene. “ ‘Ain’t’ is improper, King Hippo, unless it is used to mean, ‘am not,’ ” Ludwig said. “Luckily for you, you got it right.”

“Prince Ludwig,” exclaimed King Hippo.

“What are you good guys doin’ here?” Roy asked.

“To find out what you’re doing here,” Kevin replied.

“I think that that is none of your business, Captain Nosy and the Nosy-Team,” Wendy said.

“Well, I say that it is, Princess ‘Kootsie Pie’ Koopa,” Mario retorted.

“It is none of your business to interfere with—” Morton began. Ludwig instantly cast a silence spell on Morton before the next syllable. This sealed Morton’s mouth.

“With our going to Koopa Castle,” Ludwig said.

“If that’s why you’re here, why did you shut up your brother?” Luigi said.

“He might have told a lie,” Larry said.

“Yes. He might have fibbed to you charming members of the N‑Team,” said Ludwig.

“Sweet-talking to us, huh?” Link said. “Now we know that something’s up.”

“If anything is up—” Lemmy began.

“—it is your time,” Iggy said. Laughing, Lemmy and Iggy cast a spell on the N‑Team members who were present to make them fall asleep into the Nightmare Universe.

“Excellent, my wicked brothers,” Ludwig said. “Maybe they can do our dirty work for us in that universe.”

“We don’t understand,” Larry said.

“Then allow me to explain. We encountered our cousins in the Nightmare Universe, correct?”

“Correct.”

“So, if we encountered the Spike Koopa branch of the family in the Nightmare Universe—”

“—then the N‑Team might encounter them! Oh, Ludwig, you are such a genius.”

“I try, Larry. I try.”

“What if they wake up before they find the Spike Koopas?” Roy asked.

“Well, we’ll continue our search. If we find the Spike Koopas, we’ll carry them to Metroid.”

They split up and searched for a couple of hours. They met at the warp to Metroid, all being empty-handed.

“So, no one found them, huh?” Larry asked.

“No, negative,” Morton said. “I did not localize them anywhere.”

“They must be—” Lemmy began.

“—on some other world,” Iggy finished.

“True,” Ludwig said. He wrote a note addressed to Perry Mason and put it on Captain N’s jacket. “Let’s return to Metroid. First, though, let us gently push these N‑Team members into their warp to the Palace.” They did so and then warped to Metroid.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

Within Metroid’s control room, MotherBrain turned to the door as Ludwig and his siblings entered the room. “Did you find them?” she asked.

“No trace of them,” Ludwig said.

“What about the N‑Team?”

“Lemmy and Iggy sent their consciousness into the Nightmare Universe; then we heaved their bodies into their warp to the Palace. I put a little stick-on-note on Captain N, just so Perry Mason and Dr. Wright can find out what is going on.”

“And why in all ungodly creation would you want to do that?”

She had to avoid cringing when Ludwig gave her a villainous grin that reminded her of her own. “So that we don’t have to do all the work ourselves, naturally.”

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

Roll, MegaMan’s android sister, emerged from the warp hall. “They’re back, and they’re all asleep,” she said. She was about as tall as MegaMan, but she had no armor. She had blonde hair in two pony-tails, and she wore a pink dress suitable to house-cleaning.

Following her into the warp hall, Dr. Wright went to look at Kevin and the others. “The perpetrators left a note on Kevin.”

“Let me see that, Dr. Wright,” Perry said. Wright handed the note to Perry, who read it.

“Well, Perry?” Hamilton asked.

“Guess who did this.”

“Ludwig?” Della guessed.

“Close.”

Paul took a wild guess. “Lemmy and Iggy?”

“Very, very good, Paul. Of course, they most likely did it in Ludwig’s name. Well, well. It seems that we have a mystery on our hands. Paul, go to Earth and call on Lieutenant Anderson.”

“Andy? Why?”

“The Brain-Team got Tragg. We’ll need someone to help us, and Andy discovered our little VideoLand secret quite by accident.”

“Okay.” Paul went to the Warp Hall. He entered the recent warp zone marked ‘L.A.’ and emerged at Perry’s office. From there, he drove to the police station and entered the Homicide Department, wherein was Lieutenant Anderson’s office.

* * *

Lieutenant Anderson’s Office, Los Angeles Police Department, Los Angeles, California, U.S.A., Kevin’s Earth.

Lieutenant Andy Anderson greeted Paul Drake as he came in. “Well, hello, Paul.” He was about as tall as Drake, and he had similar dress and features, though his face was more oval-shaped than Drake’s. He was younger and fitter than Lieutenant Tragg.

“Hello, Andy,” Paul said.

“Tragg told me about your situation in the VideoLand, and I’ll help in any way I can.”

“Thank you, Andy. Perry only asked me to ask you to come to VideoLand. We have a mystery on our hands, and Lieutenant Tragg is currently incapable of rendering assistance.”

“Okay, Paul. Let’s go.” Andy got his hat and followed Paul out of the office.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

MotherBrain and Ludwig were watching on Metroid as Paul Drake visited Lieutenant Anderson. “Perry Mason has another pal in the L.A. police department?” MotherBrain asked.

“That’s okay, MotherBrain,” Ludwig said. “Let’s not be too hasty. We can save valuable power and energy by merely watching them search this case for us rather than by doing the case ourselves.”

“True. Let’s follow that course of action, then.” Suddenly, her nasal processors picked up the most hideous odor. “What’s that?” The smell suddenly became much worse.

“That’s a dreadful stench.” The fire alarm went off! “There’s a fire!” Suddenly, the alarms shut off.

Eggplant Wizard came in with a plate with an extremely burnt taco. “Well, Prince Ludwig, the only way I could tell that your taco was hot enough was by going by the fire alarms.”

Ludwig picked up the putrid excuse for Mexican sustenance. After regarding it with a frown for a moment, he then dropped the very hot taco back on the plate. This is worse than the hamburger in tartar sauce, he thought to himself. “No, thanks. I like hot food, but this is ridiculous. Feed it to someone else.”

King Hippo floated into the room with his nose inhaling a trail of smoke from the taco. “Mmm! Food.” He fell on the floor and opened his eyes. “Give me that taco, Eggplant Wizard, or—”

Eggplant Wizard handed him the plate. “Take it.”

“Really? Thanks.” King Hippo tossed the taco up in the air. He held his mouth open, eyes closed, and the taco fell into it and went straight to his belly. “Mmm! Yummy.” Suddenly, his eyes popped open and turned red, and smoke came out of his ears. “Yaaah! Hot, hot, hot! Water! Water! Water!” He went to the water fountain and drank about four liters of water. “Ah! Much better. Eggy, you sure know how to make a taco. Heh, heh!”

Ludwig shook his head. It was hardly possible, but King Hippo truly was more foolish than Ludwig had felt he was. “Will you kindly cease fooling around?” Ludwig asked. “We have a Koopa-kaper to commence. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, go to the Palace of Power and spy on Perry Mason and company.”

“The Palace?” King Hippo cried. “No way are we going in there.”

“Yeah,” said Eggplant Wizard. “They eat eggplants for dinner!”

“Don’t give us any of your lip,” MotherBrain said. “Just do as we told you.” She prepared to squash in their heads with her tentacles.

Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo screamed and then ran into the warp to the Palace of Power. They fell into the hall outside Kevin’s room, where Duke was sleeping.

* * *

Palace Hall, outside Kevin’s Room, Palace of Power.

Duke heard the noise and went into the hall in which Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo had landed. He growled at the pair.

“Out of our face, dog-breath,” King Hippo said. The dog growled some more. “Make some magic, Wizard. That mutt won’t let us spy on the others.”

“Maybe my dandy-lion will do the trick,” Eggplant Wizard said. He made a dandelion and dropped it on the floor in front of Duke. The dog sniffed it. Suddenly, the dandelion turned into a lion’s head that growled and scared Duke away. “Hurry and get into this secret spy-chamber before those N‑Twerps spot us.” A bullet flew over his head and missed the crown by a millimeter. “What?”

“Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo,” Paul Drake said. “What are you doing here?”

“You two get out of here before I put the next one in one of your worthless legs,” Lieutenant Anderson said. He was the one wielding the pistol. “Or where it will cause great pain to a part of your male anatomy.”

King Hippo screamed. “Let’s get back to Metroid before they get us.”

“MotherBrain and Ludwig are going to kill us,” Eggplant Wizard said.

“Forget MotherBrain and Ludwig. If we don’t beat it, we’re going to wind up in the Palace Jail.”

“Good point. Let’s get out of here!” They warped back to Metroid.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

In Metroid’s control room, Ludwig rolled his eyes before turning to MotherBrain’s minions. “Back so soon?”

“Anderson was going to put a bullet in my leg,” Eggplant Wizard cried.

“Aw, you could have turned it into a pea, pea-brain,” King Hippo said.

“You deserted your post?” MotherBrain snapped. “Idiots! We shall have to get servants more suited for this task.” Dr. Wily rushed into the room. “Speak of the devil.”

“Prince Ludwig, I have important information,” Wily said.

“Concerning what?” Ludwig asked.

“It concerns the location of the Spike Koopas. I know where they are.”

“Where?”

“They’re on the World of Wizards and Warriors, better known as Excalibur.”

“Good. MotherBrain, call your old pal Malkil.”

“My pleasure, Ludwig.” MotherBrain pressed a button with her tentacle. “MotherBrain calling Malkil of Castle Ironspire. Come in, please.”

Malkil appeared on the screen. “Hello, evil MotherBrain and Ludwig. How are you, my comrades in villainy?”

“Just fine, thank you. We were calling concerning a most urgent matter.”

“Please inform me about it.”

* * *

Forest of Myth, Mount Icarus.

Later, in the Kingdom of Mount Icarus, Andy and Perry arrived to search for the Spike Koopas. “This is a strange case indeed, Perry,” Andy said.

“Yes, Andy,” said Perry. “Sorry if I interrupted any business in which you were engaged.”

“That’s all right, Perry. You interrupted nothing. It’s a quiet day in the PD, for once.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I wonder what we’ll find on this world.” A woman suddenly appeared before them in a hologram: Palutena, the queen of Mount Icarus. “Good day, ma’am.”

“Good day, sir. I am Palutena, the ruler of the Kingdom of Mount Icarus. Please declare yourselves.”

“I am Perry Mason, and this is my friend, Lieutenant Andy Anderson. We work with the N‑Team.”

“Very well. Since you work with Captain N, you are welcome on my world. Perhaps I can assist you. Why do you come?”

“Captain N and his friends were put under a sleeping spell by MotherBrain and the Brain-Team. Prince Ludwig left a message in Captain N’s jacket about the Spike Koopas, for whom the Brain-Team is searching. We have some reason to believe that they are under the same sleeping spell conditions, but we do not know where they are. We are searching for them over VideoLand. We came to see whether they are resting in this world.”

“I keep a record of everyone who appears in this world. If I do not remember who they are, I appear in this manner and ask them. I have never recorded the appearance of the ones for whom you are looking. Sometimes, I do miss recording an appearance by someone, so you would do well to search. And remember, you are always welcome on Mount Icarus.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Palutena disappeared, but her voice echoed through the forest. “Look out for evil creatures. The evil Medusa stations her troops all around this world.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Just then, a hologram of two of another breed appeared: a hologram of Ludwig and MotherBrain. “Hello, Lieutenant Anderson,” Ludwig said. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa, the Prince of the Evil Koopas.”

“And I am MotherBrain, the extremely beautiful Queen of the Evil Koopas,” MotherBrain said.

“Why have you called us?” Perry asked.

“We call because we have found the location of the Spike Koopas. They are on Excalibur, the World of Wizards and Warriors. We speak the truth.”

“If you’re lying, I’ll book you for disturbing the peace, petty larceny, grand theft, and arson,” Andy said.

“Oh, that doesn’t trouble me. We’d just resist arrest. Your pistols are no match for the Brain-Team’s power.”

“Forget it, Andy,” Perry said. “These uncivilized rogues do not know the difference between truth and fiction.”

“I’ve never been insulted like that in my whole life,” Ludwig said with complete sincerity. “I insist you look up my education records.”

“I just might do that. Come on, Andy. Let’s beat it before the Brain-Team blows another gasket.”

“I’m with you, Perry,” Andy said. The two left Mount Icarus by way of the warp zone to the Palace of Power.