18--RMWVL, Part 2, Ch.6

July 22.

Dr. Wily’s Skull Castle, Earth, MegaLand, VideoLand.

n the villainous Skull Castle in the Republic of MegaLand, Dr. Wily, ProtoMan, MotherBrain, and Ludwig were watching as the Keenes and the lawyers started on their way. Wily laughed. “The final stage in my master plan is coming together perfectly.”

“And you’re positive that this will work?” Ludwig asked.

“Of course. From that brain study of Captain N, I concluded that he loves his family more than anything else in the universe. Probably natural for a do‑gooding virgin. Our holding them will lure him to his death within my Skull Castle.”

“Excellent,” said MotherBrain. “Ludwig, have the others rounded up our allies from Mount Icarus, Metroid, the CastleVania, and Hyrule?”

Ludwig checked his portable data padd. “Yes, Your Braininess.”

“ProtoMan, make sure that all of my other lovely creations are ready for action.”

“As you wish, Dr. Wily.” ProtoMan left.

The rest of the Koopa Klan entered, along with Eggplant Wizard, King Hippo, Mouser, and a red Koopa-Troopa. “We got the lovely, icky creatures, MotherBrain,” Wendy said.

“Excellent,” said MotherBrain.

“Scatter them throughout Dr. Wily’s Skull Castle,” Ludwig said.

“That Captain N is going to be one sorry California dude.” Wily laughed.

Count Dracula, Medusa, and Agahnim warped into the room. “I assume that there will be some neck-biting around here soon,” Dracula said.

“Yeah, as soon as that Captain Numskull and his whole Ninny-Gang warp into Skull Castle,” Bowser said with a laugh. His mother bashed him in the head with her purse. “Hey! What was that for?”

His mother smacked him once more. “Listen to me, you bad boy. You used improper language twice. ‘Yeah’ is slang language. ‘What was that for?’ ends in a preposition.”

“Calm down, Grandmother,” said Larry. “The universe will be ours as soon as that Captain Numskull and his Nitwit-Team meet their doom in this castle.” He laughed.

“Yes,” Roy said. “I can’t wait to see the look on Kevin the Nim‑rod’s face when we capture his parents.”

Mother Koopa was distressed to see that all her grandchildren were so evil, but she could do nothing about it. She was suspicious of MotherBrain.

“I can’t wait to see the look on Captain Idiot’s face when Eggplant Wizard turns them all into tomatoes and I smash them to bits,” King Hippo said.

“That’s a truly disgusting idea, King Hippo,” said Ludwig.

“Yes,” Morton said. “Glad you thought of it. Oh, it will not be long now. Soon the N‑Team will be squashed N‑Tomatoes!”

“Squashed N‑ —” Lemmy began.

“—Tomatoes?” said Iggy.

“What a despicably evil thought,” both said.

MotherBrain tittered. “How true.”

Bowser guffawed. “What a devious plan. Turning the whole N‑Team into a garden of tomatoes and smashing them to the size of flies. What a devious end to them.”

“Yes,” Eggplant Wizard said. “I love it.”

“But I need Princess Peach’s body,” Wendy whined.

“Why will you need it if we’re just going to destroy the N‑Team and force the galaxies of the universe under our thumb?” MotherBrain asked.

“Oh. Right. Who wants a mushroom’s body, anyway?”

“Indeed,” Wily said. “What a repulsive thought.”

“It’s an even worse thought than turning them all to stone,” Medusa said.

“True,” Agahnim said. “We can then use Zelda’s life force to open the gate to the Golden Land and get the power still there. With the power of the Golden Land, we can take over the Light World, and—oops! I forgot. The Triforces are already claimed. I keep forgetting, since I was originally zapped before that happened.”

“My evil magic teacher, you are correct,” Ludwig said. “We can reclaim them, though, once we kill Link.”

* * *

Warp Hall, Palace of Power, VideoLand.

Perry Mason warped in with Kevin’s parents and the rest of his legal team. “Well, here we are. We are at the Palace of Power.”

“Where in the palace are we?” Cheryl asked.

“We’re in the Warp Hall. Follow me. The throne room is this way.”

* * *

Kevin’s Room, Palace of Power.

When Lana finished speaking, Kevin’s eyes widened. “They were conversing with my parents?” he said. “Aw, man! They’ll ground me for sure.”

Dr. Wily’s hologram appeared. “Not if they don’t get to you, Captain N.”

“Dr. Wily. What’s your game?”

“This is the game.” Some of Dr. Wily’s metallic Lightning Lords warped into the room as his laughing hologram disappeared.

“Lightning Lords!” Kevin reached for his Zapper.

MegaMan ran into and zapped the Lightning Lords with his PlasmaBlaster. “Those Lightning Lords won’t bother us again,” the android said.

“If Mr. Mason is bringing your parents here, Kevin, they might be Wily’s prime target,” said Lana.

“Oh, no,” Kevin said. “MegaMan, get Kid Icarus and activate security cameras all around the Palace. Go to red-alert if any of them see my parents and Mr. Mason or any other of my friends being attacked.”

“Right away, Captain N.” MegaMan departed.

Simon was nearby in the hall outside the room. “And what about me?”

“Simon, check with the computers to see if any evil-doers have left Mount Icarus, MegaLand, CastleVania, the Mushroom World, or Hyrule,” Kevin said.

“Whatever for?”

“I have a bad feeling, and you know what happens when I get bad feelings.”

“Roger, Captain N.”

“Duke, see if you can sniff out my parents or Mr. Mason around the Palace.” The dog barked in reply.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

Kid Icarus, MegaMan, and Simon followed Kevin’s orders to the syllable at the computer terminals in the throne room. “Cameras on,” MegaMan said.

“Right,” Kid Icarus said.

“Aha,” said Simon.

“What is it, Simon?” asked MegaMan.

“Kevin suspected that something was wrong, and it is.” Kid Icarus and MegaMan looked at his monitor.

“Uh, oh,” Kid Icarus said. “MotherBrain and the Koopa Klan invited villains from Mount Icarus, Hyrule, and CastleVania and placed them all over Dr. Wily’s Skull Castle in MegaLand.” As he was saying this, Kevin and Princess Lana entered.

“I thought so,” Kevin said. “The Brain-Team must be up to something due to my parents.”

“That’s not all,” said MegaMan. “They even got some critters from Metroid.”

“Oh, my gosh.”

“Don’t worry, Kevin,” Samus said. “I can help handle those creeps.”

Dr. Wright entered the throne room. “I was working on something when I intercepted a transmission from Dr. Wily’s lab. MotherBrain, Ludwig, and Dr. Wily are planning to abduct your parents, Kevin, and hold them in Skull Castle.”

Captain N began feeling helpless. He tried to control it, but it was difficult. “This is just great!”

“Is there any way to stop it?” Lana said.

Mario entered. “There’s always a way to stop a clog, Princess. I’ll get that sink in the little girls’ room unclogged in no time.”

“We aren’t talking about that, Mario. Mr. Mason is bringing Kevin’s parents here, and Dr. Wily and the rest of the Brain-Team are planning to nab them.”

Entering the room, Link and Zelda overheard what Lana was saying. “That does it,” Link said.

“Duke went to sniff out Mr. Mason and my parents,” said Kevin.

Right on cue, Duke ran in, tripping Simon. With a scream, the vampire-hunter fell on his face.

“Duke, what’s the problem?” Kevin asked. Duke yapped excitedly. “Slow down, Duke. What is that in your collar? It’s a note.” He opened the note. “Why, those evil stinkers. The note says: ‘Captain N, if you want to see your parents, Perry Mason, Della Street, Paul Drake, Hamilton Burger, and Lieutenant Arthur Tragg again, you must come to Skull Castle. Signed MotherBrain; Ludwig von Koopa; Larry Koopa; King Bowser Koopa; Roy Koopa; Wendy O. Koopa; Morton Koopa, Jr.; Lemmy Koopa; Iggy Koopa; Eggplant Wizard; King Hippo; Dr. J. Wily; ProtoMan; Ridley; Mouser; Try-Clyde; Koopa-Troopa; Count Dracula; Medusa; Agahnim, the Wizard.’ I do not believe this.” The excitement caused him to faint dead on the floor.

“Kevin,” Lana cried.

“Too bad,” said Belmont. “I guess that handsome Simon will have to go to the mad doctor’s castle and save them.”

“I don’t understand,” Kid Icarus said. “We just got in here and turned on the alarm at 19:30.”

Dr. Wright used a scanning device on the paper. “According to my scan, Kid Icarus, the villains wrote this note at 19:28.”

Captain N recovered. “Oh. It’s bad enough that those jerks captured my parents. They had to go and capture Mr. Mason while they were at it. I feel awful.” Lana helped him up. “I can’t even stop the Brain-Team from capturing my parents.” He sighed. “Well, only one thing will make me feel better.”

“What?” asked Lana.

Captain N smiled, showing that he had not lost his confidence. “Going to Skull Castle and ripping it apart.”

“Now that sounds like my Kevin.”

“But how do we get through?” Link asked.

“My automatic mapping device will help us get through,” Dr. Wright said. “I suppose this will be as good a time as any to test it.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” asked Luigi. “Let’s get into that old rust bucket of Wily’s and clog it for good.”

“Yes,” Mario said. “And, as the Three Musketeers said, ‘All for one and one for all.’ ”

“Let’s get in there and smoke those devils,” Kevin said.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

However, across the vastness of VideoLand at planet Metroid, MotherBrain and Ludwig were watching, and their captives were manacled there with them! MotherBrain laughed. “The fools!”

“My message fooled them,” Ludwig said. “They will not find out that Kevin’s parents and friends are here until it is too late.”

“You’ll not get away with this, you two,” Mason said.

“Says who?” asked MotherBrain.

“You will pay for this,” Tragg said.

“I doubt that, Lieutenant,” Ludwig said. “Now that we have deceived the N‑Team, we shall rip them apart like this.” Ludwig took a clean sheet of recycled paper and ripped it to shreds. “Skull Castle will compact them, smash them, and trash them. When they get through, then and only then will they find out that you are here. It will be too late for them at that time. At that hour, they will be squashed out of our hair forever.” For a moment, the room was filled with his most diabolical laugh up to then.

“Yeah, right,” Cheryl Keene said.

“Such skepticism will not be tolerated in our home,” MotherBrain said.

“Says who, you big chunk of brain?” Ned asked.

“Please, Ned,” said Mason. “They fly off the handle far too easily.”

“Sorry, Perry. It’s just that I’ve never seen so many ugly creatures in my life.”

“Ugly, am I?” MotherBrain said. “I’ll ask an expert.” She turned to her Metroid Mind-Mirror.

“Metroid-Mirror on my wall,

Who is the most beautiful of them all?”

The Metroid Mind-Mirror replied,

“Princess Lana is the cutest chick.

You’re so ugly you make me sick!”

MotherBrain’s mouth gaped with genuine shock. “Who asked you anyway, big mouth?” The Metroid Mind-Mirror reflection stuck out its tongue rudely. MotherBrain blasted it with one shock of the electro-ray on top of her glass jar, and in the mirror’s place a smoking hole was left. “Ludwig, who is the most beautiful of them all?”

“You, my dear MotherBrain,” said Ludwig. “Who else is the beauty queen of the universe?”

“That’s right. If anyone says otherwise, I shall personally remove their lying tongue.”

Burger smiled. “Otherwise.”

“Do not be so literal, Ham Burger, unless you want to try to survive the Corridors of Metroid,” MotherBrain said. This was the shortest path of all, but it was quite dangerous.

“Well, you don’t have to get an attitude about it.”

A door swung open to admit Captain N and half of the N‑Team. “What in VideoLand,” MotherBrain cried. “It’s you! How? How? How?”

“Thanks to MegaMan’s new satellite, MotherBoob, we found out what was really going on,” Kevin said.

“Now the human has ventured upon insult.”

“I take it that this wasn’t part of Wily’s plan,” Ludwig said.

“Of course it wasn’t, Ludwig. These do‑gooding buffoons always stop us. It ain’t fair!”

“I think it’s fair,” Captain N said.

“Why do the good guys always think it’s fair? I think that we bad guys ought to win some of the time.”

“Save your breath for a little space-walk, MotherBrain,” MotherBrain said.

“Not so fast,” Ludwig said, making arcane gestures with his hands. “My magic will paralyze you.” He cast his spell before anyone could reach him, and his magic did, indeed, paralyze all N‑Team members. “Now, who wants to be first on the finished-off list?”

“Blast you, Prince Baron Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa,” Kevin said. “Blast you and your kooky Koopa Klan.” Link jumped in with the Master Sword.

“What in the name of all that is evil are you doing here?” Ludwig asked.

“I’ve come to stop your reign of terror, Ludwig, with the Master Sword.” Link shot a ray from the Master Sword. When it struck the other N‑Team members, they were freed from their paralysis.

“If your little Master Sword cannot harm Agahnim’s body, see what it can do to me.”

Link tried to slash Ludwig’s body, but the Master Sword passed through the villain like air. Link gasped. “Not even the Master Sword can stop him.”

“Why not use it as a reflector to reflect his evil magic back at him?” Kevin said.

“Good idea, Kevin. I’ll try it.”

After firing a ray of his most powerful energy, Ludwig hesitated. “What did you suggest?”

Link reflected the ray back at Ludwig with the Master Sword. “He suggested I do this.”

When the spell hit Ludwig, the evil turtle received a severe shock. He issued a long scream. “Blast you. I shall have to recharge my power. I am as weak as a squished moth, as weak as Superman when he’s exposed to Kryptonite.”

“Taste Zapper, Ludwig.” Kevin blasted Ludwig out of consciousness with a powerful blast of his Zapper.

“No,” cried MotherBrain. “Ludwig.” She turned a withering glare on Kevin. “Curse you, Captain N. If you’ve killed him, I will blow your accursèd posterior off the mortal plane. Now, get out of here before I kill you all.” She used her tentacle to pull a lever that released Captain N’s parents, Perry Mason, Della Street, Paul Drake, Hamilton Burger, and Lt. Tragg.

Kevin was momentarily stunned. He had no idea how that the brain apparently loved her stepson so much. He and everyone else all took their leave for the Palace of Power.

* * *

July 23.

Conference Room adjacent to the Throne Room, Palace of Power.

The next morning, Lana spoke with Kevin in the Palace’s Conference Room. “Are you sure that you didn’t kill him, Kevin?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Remember that none of them can be destroyed or killed without first all Metroids in the universe plus the planet Metroid destroyed.”

“Oh, that is true.”

MotherBrain and Ludwig’s holograms appeared. MotherBrain laughed.

“What are your holograms doing here in my palace?” asked Lana.

“We just called to give Captain N our regards,” Ludwig said. “As you are no doubt pleased to know, I am alive. I’m sure it would have broken your heart to have killed me.”

“I wasn’t trying to. I was just trying to knock you out.”

“Boy, did you ever. I still feel like my head is spinning. But I wanted to let you know that I’m back in action. Now, farewell, friends.’ ” Their holograms disappeared simultaneously.

“Boy, are they annoying,” said Kevin. Knocks sounded on the door. “Come in.” Perry Mason entered. “Mr. Mason. Good morning.”

“Hello, Kevin,” Mason said.

“Are my parents all right?”

“Yes, and they’re quite curious. Do you wish to confront them now?”

“Yes. Come on, Princess. I’ll make the introductions.”

“Very well, Kevin,” Lana said. They went into the throne room.

“Are you sure we’re safe?” Ned was asking Hamilton Burger.

“I am almost positive,” Burger said. “I say almost because evil can strike whenever. Ah. Good morning, Kevin.”

“Hello, everyone,” Kevin said.

“Kevin, my son, I thought I was never going to see you again,” Cheryl said. She hugged her son, and he returned the hug fully.

“Well, we’re glad that you know how to take care of yourself,” Ned said.

“I’m really sorry I left home like I did,” Kevin said. “However, I thought that VideoLand needed me too badly for me to come back home, and—”

MotherBrain’s hologram appeared again. “Good day again, Captain Numskull.”

“MotherBrain. You just harassed us a second ago. What are you doing?”

“I just called to tell your do‑gooding pals and your parents that it is your fault that I, the devious, evil, and beautiful MotherBrain, do not fill my rightful place as queen of the Kingdom of VideoLand.”

“The N‑Team has always stopped your evil plans, MotherBrain,” Lana said.

“Perhaps, but had Captain N not remained in VideoLand, I would have conquered the galaxy by now. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Keene, if you take this brat back now, you will have my undying gratitude. I may make you your planet’s imperial governors when I conquer your planet.”

“Why are you saying this if you want my parents to make me leave?” Kevin asked. He decided not to object to her calling him a brat, although he did feel a little insulted by that.

“I am going to be empress of the Milky Way Galaxy, no matter what you puny humans can dish out at my big, beautiful brain. My deviously clever son, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa, is working on unstoppable one-foot tall electrons that will be able to electrify the entire palace.” She laughed. “Before I go, I would like to make one teeny announcement: if you do not want to be electrified, you will give up.”

“What are you—” Lana began.

“You have one hour to decide.” Bellowing with laughter, her hologram disappeared.

“What is that brain in a bottle doing now?” Ned asked.

“MotherBrain is up to something, as usual,” Lana said.

“Don’t worry,” Mario said. “Luigi and I shall clog their pipes.” Mario and Luigi entered the warp to Metroid.

* * *

Wily’s Lab, Metroid.

MotherBrain rolled unceremoniously into Wily’s lab, where Ludwig and Wily were working on their devilish project. “We have company, son,” she said. “Those pasta freaks are on their way.”

“Where are they?” Ludwig asked.

“They’re—” The Marios burst in through the ceiling. Mario landed on King Hippo. Luigi landed on Eggplant Wizard.

King Hippo was thinner than a dime from being squashed. “Hey! Get off me, pasta-licking loser.”

“Sure, King Idiot,” Mario said.

After Mario had gotten off him, King Hippo said returned to normal. “Whew. What a load off of my mind. Go on a diet.”

“And ruin my figure? No way.”

“I can’t see. Get off of me,” Eggplant Wizard cried.

“What are you uncivilized pasta lovers doing in our humble abode?” Ludwig asked.

“We’re here to destroy your one-foot tall electrons, Ludwig von Koopa. What is in that bottle over there?”

“No. Stay your fire.” Mario destroyed the bottle with a fireball. Out popped a small electrical charge that died down in a second. “That was my top experiment. Depart immediately before I lose the rest of my marbles, Super Mario.”

“What do you think of that? Not even offering us lunch,” said Luigi. Mario entered the warp to the Palace. His hand came out and pulled in Luigi. “Whoa.”

“I have to get that darned cloaking device to work properly,” Ludwig said. “I know; I’ll watch ‘The Face of the Enemy.’ Since Troi was captured and put on a Romulan Warbird, we might see what the source for the cloak is.”

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

“Really?” Kevin asked.

“Yes, they have made a fourth MegaMan game. Not surprisingly, its name is MegaMan IV.”

The Marios warped into the room. “Well, we sure cleaned Ludwig’s pipes,” Mario said.

“He seemed a little bit angry after we destroyed his super-molecular-do-funny, didn’t he, brother?” asked Luigi.

“Of course, brother, but the Koopas always get angry when we destroy their junk.”

Ludwig appeared in a hologram. “It was not junk, my friends. It was a priceless experiment that could have revolutionized the galaxy.”

Luigi laughed. “I’m glad it was not worth anything.”

“Luigi Mario, you are either unimaginably stupid or too jocular for your own good. When I start making trouble again, you will be finished.” His hologram disappeared.

“Say you and whose army?” Kevin asked.

“I’ve only known Prince Ludwig for a few days, and I despise him already,” Lana said.

“I’ve known him for two or three years, and I simply hate him,” Mario said. “Bowser claims to be in charge, but Ludwig’s really the one in control. Whenever Bowser forgets that, I usually mop the floor with him. If Ludwig ever attacks us with true force, we’ll be overwhelmed.”

“You mean he hasn’t?” Kevin asked.

“Definitely not. He’s just toying with us.”

Ludwig’s voice flooded the room. “You have only three days, N‑Team. No more.”

“Pardon me, Zelda, but perhaps we should get back to Hyrule Castle,” Link said. “Who knows when someone will try to capture the Triforces or if the alarm will screw up?”

“You’re right,” said Zelda. “Please excuse us. We must be getting back to Hyrule.”

“Okay, Zelda,” Lana said. “Be well.”

“We wish the same to you,” Zelda said. “We’ll see you later.” She and Link left by the warp zone to Hyrule Castle.

* * *

July 26.

Control Room, Metroid.

In three days, MotherBrain was still attempting to devise a new plan. “It’s so hard to figure out what to do. Those N‑Team pip-squeaks always interfere with our plans. That is your fault, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo.”

“Our fault?” demanded Eggplant Wizard, getting gumption. “You two are the ones messing up.”

Ludwig was enraged to hear the aubergine’s insolence. “Refrain from speaking to MotherBrain in that manner, Eggplant Wizard. Otherwise, I shall shock you with my scepter.”

“You have no right to do that.”

“Perhaps not, but I will do it just the same.” He gave Eggplant Wizard a mild shock with his Koopa-Scepter. The wizard leapt ten centimeters with a high-pitched squeal and a trail of magical vegetables. “Now, King Hippo, do you object to our authority?”

King Hippo was not entirely innocent of the charge, but he thought it wise to pretend that he was. “Who, me? No way, your regal Koopa‑ness.”

“Wise decision. That has a much better ring to it. I shall reward your loyalty once I find a powerful battleship for you to command.”

“Ludwig, I may have something,” MotherBrain said. “Do you have any time tubes?”

“Not on me, but I have some in Dad’s old castle on the Mushroom World. Why?”

“I was just thinking that if we could make a time machine, we could prevent Captain Ninny from being drawn into VideoLand. We could also prevent Mario and Luigi from falling down that drain pipe into the Mushroom Kingdom.”

As Ludwig considered this, he smiled. “What a diabolical idea.” Laughing, he pressed a button. “Mouser, please grace us with your presence.”

Mouser entered. “I am here, Your Repulsive and Repugnant Koopaness. What is up?”

“My loyal, brown-nosing Mouser, could I trouble you to warp to Koopa Castle in Koopa Kingdom and bring my box of time tubes? They are in my room. And use the utmost care. They are quite fragile.”

“Don’t give it another thought, Your Evilness. I’ll be right back.” He entered the warp to Koopa Castle and proceeded to Ludwig’s room. Here, he picked up the box labeled ‘time tubes’ and carefully brought them back to the control room of Metroid. “Here you are, Your Intelligence.”

Ludwig opened the box and looked in. “Ah, thank you. I know that I can count on you to get simple jobs done correctly.” He glared at Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. “Unlike some others I know.”

“You wouldn’t count on me?” Eggplant Wizard cried. “I’m insulted.”

“Good.” He pressed a button. “All Koopa royalty, please pause your destructive activities at once to come into the control room of Metroid.” In moments, all Koopalings, Bowser Koopa, and Koopa’s mother were in the control room of Metroid. “Allow me to lay out our newest and most devious plan of conquest.”

“This sounds good already,” Bowser said.

“I am planning to make a time machine, go back in time, and stop the Ultimate Warp Zone from—”

Captain N, Princess Lana, Mario, and Luigi suddenly warped into the room. “Don’t you know that you should never tamper with history?” asked Lana.

“Oh, no,” said MotherBrain. “Not them again.”

“How in the world did you discover this?” Ludwig asked.

“Simple,” Kevin said. “We monitor all warp activity between VideoLand and the Mushroom Kingdom. When we noticed that someone was warping from here to Koopa Kingdom and back, we knew you had to be up to no good.” He aimed his Zapper for the time tubes. “Now, to stop your plan permanently.”

Ludwig gasped. “Mouser, get these time tubes back to Koopa Castle before they’re destroyed.” He put the box into Mouser’s hands.

“Yes, Your Highness.” Mouser swiftly ran for the warp. However, Mario leapt in front of the portal.

“Not so fast, Mouser.”

“Mario, get out of my way.”

“No way, rodent.” Mario swung out his leg and tripped Mouser. Mouser flung the box accidentally.

“Someone grab that box,” Ludwig said. MotherBrain grabbed the box with her tentacles and stopped it from hitting the floor. “Thank you.”

“What’s the matter, Ludwig?” Eggplant Wizard asked in sarcastic tones. “Aren’t you going to fry Mouser for trying to drop your time-tubes?”

“Shut up, you bloody idiot,” MotherBrain snapped.

“Don’t think that your box of time-warping tubes is safe yet, Prince Baron Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa,” said Kevin. He aimed his Zapper and blasted the box of time tubes before MotherBrain could see, and his Zapper laser vaporized the entire box and all its contents.

“Oh, no,” MotherBrain cried. “The time tubes are all destroyed. Blast you, Kevin.”

“I shall overlook this intrusion into our domain, N‑Team, if you turn around and leave the same way you entered,” Ludwig said. “As for you, Kevin, I have put up with you for long enough. One day in the near future, human, I’ll fix you.”

“We just foiled the plan that would have allowed that, Ludwig,” Kevin said.

“Do not think so, Kevin. I relish the day when I may see you defeated.”

“I’ll try not to take that too personally.” He and the N‑Team left for the Palace.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

As soon as she saw Kevin emerge from the warp hall, Cheryl jumped up and hugged him with all her strength. “I’m so glad you’re back. Are you all right?”

“Mom, I’m okay, really,” Kevin said.

“Kevin, why did you have to do that?”

“I had to keep the Brain-Team from sealing me out of VideoLand.”

“What effect would the Brain-Team have on us, son?” Ned asked. “Earth is some considerable distance away from here.”

“I’m afraid we’re not far enough. Dr. Wright, would you mind elaborating to my parents why the Brain-Team is a threat to everyone living in this galaxy? I’m not sure I can explain it as well as you can.”

“I wouldn’t mind at all, Kevin,” Dr. Wright said. “You see, Mr. and Mrs. Keene, VideoLand has advanced propulsion technology. We also have a plentiful supply of dilithium crystals, which enable extremely fast speeds even without warp propulsion technology. Thus, the Brain-Team could indeed travel the distance over space to your area of the Milky Way within twelve hours. And unfortunately, your area of the galaxy is really not far from VideoLand, either. In fact, it used to be contained within VideoLand’s borders. Only the Five Most Potent Forces of Good in the Milky Way Galaxy have the power of defeating the Brain-Team. Make that the Four Most Potent Forces of Good, now that the Mario-Team and N‑Team Base are combined.”

“The what?” Kevin and Lana asked together.

“I must wait to explain at the proper time, which I fear will come before the year is out. I feel it may be inappropriate at this time.”

“I see,” Kevin said. Everyone was silent briefly.

“What a case this has been,” Mason said. “I shall be moving out here. I think that my four friends will be, too.”

“Count on that from me,” said Drake.

“Make that from me, too,” Della said.

“I shall, also,” Burger said. “This is an interesting land.”

“Oh, I think I can find plenty of criminals to arrest,” Tragg said.

“Definitely, Lieutenant,” Lana said. “Especially with the Brain-Team running rampant and gathering allies.”

“And what about you two?” Dr. Wright said.

“I’m not sure, yet,” Cheryl said.

“I’m not sure, either,” said Ned. “This place is quite interesting, but also dangerous.”

“What do you think we should do about Kevin?”

“I think you should leave it up to him to make the decision,” Mason said. “He has the right and the obligation to do so himself, since he is eighteen and a half years old. In addition, if you forced him to leave VideoLand, the Brain-Team’s forces could overwhelm both VideoLand and Earth shortly. Then, the galaxy. I have seen that Kevin is the leader that the N‑Team needs.”

“I agree,” Lana said.

“Well, Kevin, will you stay here or come back to Earth with us?” Cheryl asked.

“That is a pretty heavy decision,” Kevin said.

“Son, I suggest you stay here,” Ned said. Cheryl and Kevin both looked surprised.

“That’s certainly not what I expected. Why?”

“I don’t want our world looted or destroyed by the Brain-Team. I agree with Mr. Mason. You seem to have become a fine leader for the N‑Team, son.”

“Wow. Thanks, Dad. That makes it easier to tell you that this what I want. I’ll stay.”

“Very well,” said Cheryl. “Come visit some time, all right?”

“Yes, Mom. Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” said Ned. “Before people suspect us of disappearing, too.”

“Well, then, I’ll show you the warp home.” He led them into the Ultimate Warp Zone Chamber and looked at a terminal screen. “The other end of the warp is still near the Hollywood sign.”

“All right. That’s where Mr. Mason brought us so we could come here. We brought our own car.”

“Okay. I’ll miss you two.” He hugged his parents in turn.

“We’ll miss you, too, Kevin,” said Cheryl. “Be good. And be nice to that princess. I can tell she likes you very much.”

Kevin smiled. “I will, Mom. Farewell.”

“Farewell, son,” said Ned.

“Farewell, Kevin,” Cheryl said. “See you.”

“See you, Mom,” Kevin said. His parents left. He then gathered his mixed emotions and returned to the Throne Room. “They’re safely away.”

“Well, Kevin, you’re luckier than I am,” Lana said. “I wish I could see my father sometime.”

“Well, I’m staying.”

Simon looked in his mirror. “Obviously, he is not doing so because he’s handsome. I am clearly the most handsome person in the galaxy.” He kissed his image in the mirror.

Oh, he’s handsome, Simon, Lana thought to herself. More so than you. I’m just happy he doesn’t cram it down people’s throats like you do.

“Simon Belmont, please exercise a little restraint,” said Kevin.

“Simon, Princess Lana doesn’t like you the most,” Kid Icarus said. “She likes me the best. I’m the one she makes video-chip-cookies for.”

“And I’m the one to whom she reads bed-time-stories, so I am her next-to-favorite. That leaves you out, Simon.”

“I’m her favorite,” Simon said. “I’m the most handsome.”

“She likes me the best,” said Kid Icarus.

“She reads me the stories,” MegaMan said. “Second-best here.”

Kevin whistled. “Cool it, guys. I know who her least-favorite is, among the three of you. But I’m not telling.”

“I bet it’s you, Simon,” Kid Icarus said.

“Yes,” said MegaMan. “I couldn’t be her least-favorite.”

“You’re a robot, MegaMan,” Simon said. “How could she like you the most?”

“That’s my best friend you’re talking to, Simon‑ious Belmont‑icus,” Kid Icarus snapped. “And he’s an android, more than a mere robot‑icus.”

“Yeah,” said MegaMan. “How could she possibly like someone as conceited as you?”

“More importantly, how could she possibly like someone who flits around in these ridiculous fairy-wings?” Simon asked.

“That’s power wings, Simon,” said Kid Icarus.

Kevin pressed the ‘Select’ button on his Power Pad. “Hit the pause, you three.” Simon, Kid Icarus, and MegaMan froze in time. “No wonder VideoLand was losing the war when we got here. These guys were just fighting among themselves. I thought they’d learned their lesson by now.” He re‑pressed the ‘Select’ button to turn off the pause.

“Look, Simon—” Lana began.

“See, Simon?” said MegaMan. “We told you we were her favorites.”

“Ready for long pause,” GameBoy said.

“Come on, MegaMan,” Kid Icarus said. “Let’s stop wasting time with Simon.”

“Yes,” MegaMan said. “That fool is not as intelligent as we are.”

“You have that correct,” said Lana.

“What?” Simon cried. “But, Your Highness—”

“And guess who my least favorite is now.”

“Could it be you, Mario?”

“Now, wait a plunger-pushing minute, Drain‑O brain,” Mario said. “You’re the one who started this skirmish!”

“Mario, let’s just stay out of it,” Luigi said.

“Good idea, brother. I’d rather be in a lake full of Bowser’s piranha fish than arguing with this fool.”

“Don’t start any fights, dudes,” Toad said.

“Mario, just calm down,” said Peach.

“Ooh, I’m hungry,” Yoshi said.

“You’re always hungry, Yoshi,” Mario said.

“So are you, Mario,” said Simon.

“Just a pasta-eating minute, Belmont. Is that an insult?”

“It may be an insult, but it is the truth.”

Mario took something out of his pocket. “In that case, let me introduce you to my rotten spaghetti noodle.”

“Whoa,” said Kevin. He pressed the ‘Select’ button on his Power Pad and paused Mario and Simon.

“Thank you, Kevin,” Lana said.

“I know,” said Kid Icarus. “Let’s lock Simon up in a closet and throw away the key.”

“That goes mega for me,” MegaMan said.

Lana and Kevin carried Simon to a closet in the conference room. “This egomaniac sure needs a psychiatrist.” Lana locked him in the closet and gave the key to Kevin, who put the key in his pocket.

“There. We’ll let him out in half an hour.” He restarted time.

“Guys?” Simon’s voice said through the door. “Anyone out there?”

* * *

Lemmy’s and Iggy’s Room, Metroid.

Lemmy and Iggy were watching this little episode. “Wow. You know what this means, Lemmy?” asked Iggy.

“Yes. If we can get into the Palace of Power and extinguish Simon Belmont, Princess Pea‑head will be out one of her foolish officers.”

“One of the highest-ranking officers of Her Do-gooder-ness’s court, nonetheless. We won’t ask Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo to do this, because they’ll surely mess it up.”

Ludwig entered. “You are too correct.”

“Ludwig,” Lemmy and Iggy cried.

“Your room still looks like a pigsty, my mischievous little brothers.”

“But that’s unimportant, right?” Lemmy asked. “We came up with a plan concerning them.”

“Oh, really? I’ll determine the relative importance myself. What is your plan, my brothers?”

“Princess Lana has locked Belmont up in a closet,” said Iggy.

“Yes,” Lemmy said. “If we can get into that Palace, we can extinguish his flame.”

“A truly evil idea, gruesome twosome. I’m glad that you thought of it.”

“Thank you, Your Most Royal Lowness,” Iggy said. He and Lemmy bowed.

“You do not need to bow before me, Lemmy and Iggy, but I appreciate the respect.” He tapped an intercom. “Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, report to Lemmy and Iggy’s room on the double.”

Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo rushed to the door and fought to get into the room. “Let me in first, Eggplant Wizard,” King Hippo said.

“No,” said Eggplant Wizard. “He called my name first, King Hippo.”

“He meant for me to come first. Let me in!”

Ludwig sighed. “How unsightly. King Hippo, back off and let Eggplant Wizard come in before you.” King Hippo did as Ludwig requested. “I can see that I have already made a gross error in judgment. Listen up, gentlemen, and I use the term loosely. Now that my two intelligent brothers have come up with the perfect plan, I have no intention of letting Simon Belmont slip through my claws. Is that clear?”

“Uh, yes, Ludwig,” King Hippo said.

“Is that how I’ve asked you to address me?”

“Oh. Right, Prince Ludwig.”

“Right. Look, get this task done correctly, or you are out of a job. Not to mention a life.”

“What are we supposed to do, Prince Ludwig?” Eggplant Wizard asked.

“You dunder-heads are to break into the closet in the Palace of Power where Lana locked up Belmont and to bring Belmont, unconscious, to me.”

“Oh. Of course. Um, which closet?”

“It’s in the north-western end of the conference room,” Lemmy said.

“Fine,” King Hippo said. “Come on, Eggplant Wizard.”

“Coming, pelota de manteca.”

“What did you call me?”

“I called you a lard ball, you vache espagnole.”

MotherBrain entered the room. “Whom are you calling a Spanish cow, Eggplant Wizard? It better not be me.”

“First you call me pelota de manteca, and now you call me a Spanish cow,” King Hippo cried. “I ought to boot you to Madrid.”

“I’m quite sorry,” Eggplant Wizard said. “I thought that vache espagnole meant ‘Spanish elephant.’ ”

“Why, you worthless vegetable!”

“Shut up and get going,” MotherBrain said.

“Wait,” Ludwig said. “I’ve got a better idea. The closet in the conference room in the Palace of Power has a ceiling made of Tetris-shaped blocks. I can control Tetris blocks with my mind now that we have a piece of the Sacred Square in Metroid’s wiring. I shall fix him myself.”

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

In the Palace, the N‑Team was discussing what they should do with Simon. “So, any ideas?” Lana asked.

“I don’t know,” Kevin said. “I may know video games, a lot of math, and a lot of everything else, but I don’t know much psychology. I haven’t begun studying that yet.”

“Why don’t we—” Mason began.

MotherBrain’s, Ludwig’s, Lemmy’s, Iggy’s, and Eggplant Wizard’s holograms appeared. “Why don’t you head for the hills?” asked MotherBrain with sinister laughter.

“What do you want this time?” Lana asked.

“We just called to pay our respects,” Iggy said.

“Watch out for falling blocks,” Lemmy said.

“Yes,” said Ludwig. “Falling Tetris blocks.”

“Sure,” Eggplant Wizard said. “Try searching Metroid, but you will not find the Sacred Square anywhere. Nyah, nyah!”

“Quit being so immature, you stupid excuse for a servant,” said MotherBrain. “Bye, bye, N‑Twerps.” She stuck out her tongue. The holograms of all Brain-Team members disappeared from the room.

“Falling Tetris blocks?” Captain N asked. Abruptly, they began to hear a rumbling sound.

“What is that?” Mason asked.

“It sounds like the meeting room.” Her eyes widened in horror. “By the Ultimate Warp Zone! We put Simon in a closet whose ceiling is made of Tetris blocks. We’ve got to get him out.”

In the meeting room, the small Tetrad-shaped blocks in the ceiling were falling on Simon’s head. He cried out. “Okay! I’m sorry I started fights. I’m sorry.” He heard a warp open. “Someone’s warping in here.” Another block fell on his head, evoking another outcry.

Lemmy and Iggy emerged from the warp. “That must be the closet,” Lemmy said. He fired a ray from his scepter and blasted open the closet doors. By now, the small blocks were all around Simon’s legs, and he could not move.

Iggy laughed. “Look, Lemmy. The ceiling is crumbling on Simon.”

“Help,” Simon cried. “It’s the Terror-twins.”

Lemmy and Iggy looked at each other in glee. “Terror-twins?” Lemmy asked. “What an awesome name. Thanks, Belmont.”

Kevin and Mario rushed into the room. “Hey,” Kevin said. “It’s Lemmy and Iggy Koopa.”

“I’ll Koopa them.” Mario leapt high.

Iggy and Lemmy whirled around. “It’s Mario,” Iggy said.

Lemmy gulped. “Worse than that. There’s Captain N.”

“Captain N?”

“Yes, and I’m here to clean your pipes,” Kevin said. He opened fire upon Iggy and Lemmy with his Zapper.

Lemmy yelped when the beam struck him. “That guy’s Zapper is worse than his bite. Let’s get out of here.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Iggy said amid yelps.

“Wait up,” Kevin said. “I haven’t finished blasting you yet.” He pressed ‘Up’ on his Power Pad and leapt in front of the warp to Metroid.

“That kid will clean our clocks,” Lemmy said.

“I’m eighteen and a half years old, so technically I’m no longer a kid, Lemmy (Bowser)Koopa,” Kevin said. “And I am a few years older than you.”

“Well, we’re thirteen, Captain N,” Lemmy said. “That adds up to twenty-six total.”

Kevin smiled. “I’m afraid that doesn’t count.”

Ludwig emerged from the warp and forcibly shoved Kevin out of his way. “Quite right. And I am nineteen years old, Captain N.”

“Half a year does not make much of a difference,” Kevin said.

“Maybe not. But I’ve had half a year to become more intelligent than you, and I used my time far better than you did. Of course, with your IQ, all the fault goes to your silly spoon-feeding public school system, which teaches students at a snail’s pace. We came for Simon Belmont.”

“You’re not getting him, Ludwig.” Mario leapt high.

“I’d advise against that, Mario. but it’s too late.”

Mario landed on Ludwig and was cast away onto the floor magically. “Yow! What happened?”

“As I told you right before I sealed you in Neon Castle, Mario, you cannot stomp on a Koopa who is at least nineteen years of age.”

Larry came through the warp. “I am almost a year from being that old.”

“Larry, what are you doing here?”

“I came to feast my eyes on the way you cleverly handle these N‑Twerps.”

“Well, do it on a Metroid-monitor. You might get konked out.”

Bowser Koopa and his mother warped into the room. “Ah,” said Bowser. “Mario. I assume that your foolishness has relieved you of all of your strength.”

Mario groaned. “That it has, you nasty, green bully, but I’ll get it back. You can count on it.”

“I have to hand it to you, Koopums,” Bowser’s mom said. “You sure know how to make a mommy proud.”

“And I know how to make you unproud of your son, Mother Koopa,” Kevin said.

“Don’t be mean to my bad boy, Captain N. That’s my job.”

“What’s the matter, Captain N?” Bowser asked. “Your energy knocked out?”

“That is what happened when I rudely shoved him out of my way,” Ludwig said.

By now, Simon has made his way out of the closet. “Shove this, Ludwig.” He whacked Ludwig’s rear with his whip.

Ludwig cried out. “That hurt, Belmont.”

“Well, I think that it is time that we scrammed.” When Larry tried to run out, Ludwig grabbed his hair to stay him.

“Not so fast, brother. You wanted to know how I deviously handle my adversaries, so pay attention.”

“Oh. Of course.”

“Now, the first thing you do is—” Simon whipped him up between the legs, eliciting another yelp. “The first thing you do is not to let the enemy hurt your weakest point. Now, since you wish to be a man, pulverize that insolent vampire hunter.”

Larry drew his scepter. “With extreme pleasure, O evil brother.” Larry fired a beam from his scepter that wrapped Simon up in a ton of bandage.

“Hey,” said Simon. “I’m all wrapped up in myself this time.”

“How correct you are, Simon Belmont.” Larry laughed.

“Good work, evil brother. You remember well what Mumm‑ra did to Lion‑O on the day Tygra discovered the Key to the Book of Omens.”

“Good work?” Bowser asked. “Excellent work.”

“Thank you both,” said Larry.

Kid Icarus and MegaMan came into the room. “What’s going on?” Kid Icarus asked.

“It’s the Koopas,” MegaMan said.

“You were expecting maybe Donkey Kong?” Bowser asked.

“There was always the hope-icus. I suppose we’ll have to stop you now.” Kid Icarus drew his bow.

“Let’s mega-take care of these idiots, Kid Icarus,” MegaMan said.

“I beg your pardon,” Ludwig said. “I am no idiot.”

“We’ll rock ’em to sleep for you, Ludwig,” Lemmy said. Iggy and he fired spells from their scepters and turned MegaMan and Kid Icarus into rocks. Lemmy laughed. “That was too easy. It was also too funny.”

Captain N had finished recovering and now stood up. “Oh, yeah? Well, you won’t think that this is so funny.”

“Stop him,” Ludwig said. “He’s reaching for his Power Pad.”

Kevin hit his ‘Select’ button. “Pause.” Kevin paused the Brain-Team. The rest of the team ran into the room.

“Kevin, are you all right?” Lana asked.

“Fine.”

“They stoned Kid Icarus and MegaMan,” Luigi said. He took Ludwig’s scepter. “Ludwig von Koopa’s scepter is the Koopas’ most powerful scepter, bestowed upon the heir to the Throne of Koopa.” Just then, Kevin’s pause wore off.

“My scepter,” Ludwig snapped in fury. “Luigi has my scepter. Return my property, you pilfering plumber.” Ludwig shot Luigi with a constant ray of low-voltage electricity.

Luigi cried out in pain. “Someone grab Ludwig’s scepter.”

Kevin took the scepter. “Prepare to meet your match, Prince Ludwig.”

Ludwig fired a ray at Kevin. “I’m afraid not, Captain N.”

Kevin pressed ‘right’ on his Power Pad to move out of the way. “See how you like a taste of your own medicine, Ludwig.” He mentally told the scepter to enclose Ludwig in a magic-proof box. Then, as he brandished the scepter, the box appeared as requested.

“Hey,” cried Ludwig. “Let me out of here.”

Bowser gasped. “Let a pro handle that scepter, Captain N.”

“Not on your life, Bowser.” Using the scepter, Kevin wrapped Bowser up in mummy bandages.

“Yipe! I’ve been wrapped up.”

“And now for you others.”

Bowser’s mother cried out. “Larry, grab Bowser. Lemmy and Iggy, grab Ludwig. A smart Koopa knows when to fight and when to run.” Larry grabbed Bowser, Lemmy and Iggy grabbed Ludwig, and the Koopas ran through the warp to Metroid.

Captain N laughed. “Thank you for the scepter, Ludwig.”

“Get this junk off of me,” snapped Simon. “It’s screwing up my hair.”

“Yes, Simon.” Captain N fired the scepter and freed Simon from his bandage prison. “Now, to change Kid Icarus and MegaMan back to normal.” With a flourish of the scepter, the deed was done.

“Whew,” Kid Icarus said. “Thank you, Kevin‑icus.”

“Thanks, Captain N,” MegaMan said.

“You’re all welcome. Now, to reenergize Mario.” Kevin fired the scepter at Mario and revived him.

“Thank you, Kevin,” said Mario.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

“You did what?” MotherBrain cried. “Mother Koopa!”

“Sorry, MotherBrain,” Bowser’s mother said. “They had Ludwig’s scepter, and that is one of the most powerful magical implements in existence.”

“I hate to be rude and blunt, but will you all please be quiet?” Ludwig asked. “I am charging my power into another scepter. I used my own scepter to instill its power into myself. This machine will operate correctly only if there is not too much noise. If you must talk, either do it softly or in another room.”

“Yes, my dear son,” MotherBrain said.

“If you must do something noisy, electrify the incompetents we call assistants. They always ruin everything.”

“Gladly.” MotherBrain turned to face Eggplant Wizard, King Hippo, Mouser, Try-Clyde, and Koopa-Troopa. They shrank under her withering gaze. “You fools. You didn’t help at all. You’ve ruined everything!” She fried all five of them as they ran out screaming.