16--RMWVL, Part 2, Ch.4

July 20.

Palace Courtroom, Palace of Power, VideoLand.

ack in court, everyone was getting ready for reconvening when MotherBrain and the rest of the Brain-Team came in. Bailiff Simon was bringing in Kevin gently and Eggplant Wizard not so gently. Perry and Della were at the defense table when Simon delivered Kevin to them.

“All right, Egg‑brain,” Simon said. “You must stay with me for now.”

“Uh, okay, Simon. Whatever you say,” said Eggplant Wizard.

“Has Kid Icarus gotten back yet, Mr. Mason?” Kevin asked.

“Not yet, Kevin,” Mason said. “I hope that he gets back soon. Court will reconvene in thirty seconds.”

MotherBrain called out so that everyone in the courtroom could hear. “Your precious Captain N will never be able to save you after he has been convicted.” She laughed wickedly.

Angered, Mario went over to her. “Says who?”

“Mario, if there were to be an embarrassing situation in here, I’m sure that you would not start it,” Ludwig said. “I’m sure that you feel angry. If I may make a suggestion, why don’t you go over and sit down before your friend, Lieutenant Tragg, comes over here and arrests you.”

“Oh, all right,” said Mario. “I’m only doing as you suggest to prevent a fight here. But this isn’t over, Ludwig.” He returned to his seat.

“All shall rise for the honorable Judge Lana,” Simon said. Everyone stood as Lana entered. Once seated, she brought down her gavel.

“You may all be seated,” Lana said. “Court will come to order.” Eggplant Wizard kept his mouth shut.

“Thine Honor, if it please the court, I should like to begin a case for the defense,” Mason said.

“It pleases the court,” Lana said. “Proceed.”

“I call this vegetable whom I have asked the bailiff kindly to uproot from his jail cell and to harvest in here to the stand.”

Lana smiled briefly. “Most amusing, Mr. Defense Barrister. Eggplant Wizard—”

“I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God,” Eggplant Wizard said.

Lana sighed. “I was about to remind thee that thou art still under oath. Escort the vegetable to the witness stand, please, bailiff.”

“My pleasure, Thine Honor.” Simon tossed Eggplant Wizard towards the chair. When Eggplant landed in the chair, dozens of eggplants popped out of him.

“That exceedingly diverting scenario was unnecessary, but please proceed.”

“Now, is it true that thou committedst perjury earlier, Eggplant Wizard?” Mason asked.

“No, sir,” said Eggplant Wizard. “I never lie.”

Perry Mason smiled. “Not many of us can say that, Eggplant Wizard. Now, art thou in league with MotherBrain?”

“Of course I am. Anyone who’s taken first grade knows that.”

“Couldst thou not have been the one who planted the Sacred Square?”

“No way, Mr. Mason. If thou dost not believe my story, test my weight and fingerprints. Surely, there were no fingerprints on the Sacred Square, and I’m too weak to take it myself. As King Hippo will no doubt delight in telling you, I’m a fifty-pound weakling.”

“Interesting. Your Honor, may I pause my examination of Eggplant Wizard and call Lt. Arthur Tragg to the bench?”

“No objection,” said Burger.

“Very well,” Lana said. “Lt. Tragg, come forward.”

Lt. Tragg stood from his seat next to Burger and came to Mason. He handed a folder containing several sheets of paper to Mr. Mason. “Here are the fingerprint tests that Paul and I took of the Sacred Square.” Mason opened the folder and examined the pictures. “Er, we found no prints on the Sacred Square, Perry. Does that give thee a clue?”

“I see, Lieutenant. Thank you. Now, I would like that thou, with the court’s and the prosecutor’s permission, fingerprint the present witness.”

Burger sighed. “I have no objection.”

“Thou mayest do so,” said Lana. Lt. Tragg proceeded to get the fingerprints from Eggplant Wizard.

“Thank thee, Tragg,” Mason said. “Now I shall prove that Eggplant Wizard did not commit the crime, Thine Honor.”

Burger got up. “Thine Honor, I must admit to being confused. Eggplant Wizard is not on trial here.”

“I’m eliminating suspects.”

“I see, Mr. Mason. Go ahead.”

“Is it true, Eggplant Wizard, that thou canst not wipe fingerprints off objects thou touchest?”

“True, Mr. Mason,” Eggplant Wizard said. “I leave behind a fruity juice that can be tracked by many means.”

“Okay, Eggplant Wizard. Bring it in, Mr. Drake.” Paul Drake left and brought in a square. “Now, Eggplant Wizard, this square is made of the same material as the Sacred Square. Art thou sure that thou art not lying?”

“Well, in complete actuality, yes and no.”

“Yes and no?”

“Look. Let me touch this. It will leave behind my juicy liquid.” Eggplant Wizard touched the square. “Now, scrub it as much as thou wantest. It will not come off.” Tragg tried to scrub the square with all kinds of substances for a minute, but none of the liquid that Eggplant Wizard had left behind came off. “Okay, now notice how it just stays. Try washing it with hydrochloric acid.” Tragg did so for a few minutes. The juice reluctantly came off. “See? A few minutes with HCl, and it comes right off.”

“So, thou perjuredst thyself.”

“I thought that what thou meantest was just by scrubbing. I would not have had the time to do all this.”

“I’m glad to hear that, for your sake. So, thine only crime was that outburst thou madest earlier. I have no further questions.”

“No questions,” Burger said.

“Then this witness may take root behind bars again,” Lana said. “Bailiff, please take him away.” Bailiff Simon took Eggplant Wizard back to jail.

“Thine Honour, this is getting too out of hand,” said Burger. “The prosecution has made a prima facie case. It has been proven that there was, indeed, a crime and that Kevin Keene can possibly be the person who committed the crime. I move that he be bound over for jury trial under the charge of robbing the Sacred Square of the Republic of Tetris.”

“A moment, if I may, to confer with my client,” Mason said.

“Take your time,” Lana said.

“Something is wrong,” Mason whispered. “Kid Icarus was supposed to get back just after court reconvened.”

Kevin’s eyes widened. “My goodness. Something must have happened. He’s quite reliable, Mr. Mason.”

“I’m beginning to fear for his safety, also. I was merely stalling for time. We shouldn’t stall any longer.” He got up and addressed the court. “I find myself with no opportunity to object to the motion. The person whom I need is not in court and has not been subpoenaed.”

Judge Lana sighed. She sincerely wished she could make exceptions for Kevin, but she could not. The code of justice had to come first. “Motion granted. Jury trial will begin as soon as a jury has been empanelled and sworn.” She brought down her gavel. Everyone rose as she left.

“Well, Perry, it looks like your client is guilty,” Burger said. “I hope that I am wrong.”

“Now, Hamilton, how could he be guilty?” asked Mason. “When I searched his room, I found no handkerchiefs or napkins, no anything.”

“Well, I found a rag in his top drawer. It had his fingerprints all over it.”

“According to the lawbook, I can clear him, even if he has been ruled guilty, and he can continue his life as though he had never been convicted guilty.”

“Look, Perry. You just do not have enough evidence to clear him.”

“You may be correct. Kevin, what will happen if you get convicted guilty?”

“I can tell you,” MotherBrain called. “He will no longer be a member of that blasted N‑Team, and the Milky Way Galaxy shall belong to the Koopas and me forever.” She laughed almost convulsively. The Brain-Team left to Metroid.

“I am beginning to dislike that huge cerebrum already,” Mason said. “Hamilton, could you please subpoena Ludwig, every little bit of his sophisticated equipment, and this disk to jury trial?” He handed the disk to Burger.

“Well, of course, but what is the purpose of this, Perry?” asked Hamilton.

“I have my reasons, Hamilton. It may, in fact, prove Kevin’s innocence.”

“Okay, Perry. I’ll do as you ask.” He smiled. “I’ll even wait until tomorrow morning to have Tragg serve it, if only to discomfit Prince Ludwig.”

“Good enough for me. He needs some discomfiting.”

* * *

July 21.

Control Room, Metroid.

The next morning, Tragg arrived at Metroid. The residents greeted him with insincere warmth. “I am serving you a subpoena duces tecum by Hamilton Burger,” the lieutenant told Ludwig. “You must bring yourself, every milligram of your equipment, and your initial recording of Captain N to court the first day of jury trial, which happens to be today at 14.00.”

“Then a jury has been empanelled,” Ludwig said.

“Yes. By the way, what do you know about the disappearance of Kid Icarus?”

“I know nothing, Lt. Tragg,” Ludwig said. “You may, of course, search the planet high and low if you wish. But I would not advise it. You might get lost, and Metroid is not the kind of place you want to get lost in.”

Tragg did not miss the slight menace in Ludwig’s tone. He was beginning to understand just how dangerous the young Koopaling was. “I shall not. See you in court, Prince Ludwig.” He left through the warp to the Palace of Power.

Ludwig read the subpoena. “What a bother,” he said dispassionately. “Let’s pack up all my equipment.”

“Yes, my devious son,” MotherBrain said.

* * *

Palace Courtroom, Palace of Power.

At 14:00, the jury trial began. When Lana was seated, Burger began his case. “The defendant, Kevin Keene, also known as Captain N, has been charged with the robbery of the Sacred Square of the Republic of Tetris. Before I begin examining witnesses, I would like to know if Prince Ludwig von Koopa is here and if he brought with him the equipment he was supposed to bring.”

Ludwig got up. “I have, Mr. Prosecutor.”

“Please bring it forward.”

Ludwig brought a bag crammed with his equipment to the bench. “Here it is, lock, stock, and barrel.”

“Thou hast been most co‑operative, Prince Ludwig.” Burger opened the bag and examined the contents. “This is very good, Thy Highness. Now that this is out of the way, I call thee to the stand.”

“Very well.”

“Please raise thy right hand,” Simon said. Ludwig raised his right hand. “Dost thou swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help thee God?”

“I do.”

“Please state your full name.”

“My full name is Prince Baron Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa of the Kingdom of Koopa. I am somewhat humbler than my sister. The officers of the court may just call me Ludwig.” He sat down.

“If it please the court, I would like Ludwig’s testimony from the preliminary hearing introduced into the record and provided to the jury,” Burger said.

“No objection,” Mason said.

Lana nodded. “So ruled. The record will show Ludwig’s testimony from the preliminary hearing, and the jury will have access to the live recording. Please proceed, Mr. Burger.”

“Interesting gizmos, Ludwig,” Burger said. “Mightest thou, perchance, have an invention known as a heat-print-tester in this bag of gizmos?”

“No,” said Ludwig. “If I had one, I would not be able to bring it. It would be too large to fit even in that bag. I can assure thee, though, that I do know what thou art talking about, and I can make one at any time with those tools.”

“How would it work?”

“That device would work by searching for something called a heat signature. A heat signature is as individual to someone as is a retina eye pattern or a fingerprint. To determine a heat signature, someone would have to have touched something within about forty-eight hours of diagnosis. Even if someone were wearing ordinary gloves or had wiped off their fingerprints, his heat signature would be left behind. Certain heavy types of gloves might distort the heat pattern, and a few can block it entirely, but general gloves let the correct pattern seep through.”

“Thank you. Thy co‑operation is most appreciated. Thy witness, counselor.”

Mason stood. “Okay, Ludwig.” He lifted the optical disk, which Ludwig had let him keep, from his table. “I hope that I shall be granted the liberty of showing this disk to the whole courtroom that we might determine any flaws.”

“Go ahead,” Burger said. “I do not object.”

“Proceed,” Lana said.

“Miss Street, thou hast brought the disk player with thee. Please bring it forward.” Della brought her disk player. Mason took out the disk, but it was clearly too large to fit into the opening. “This disk is too large.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention that,” Ludwig said. “My apologies. Mr. Burger, my devices are clearly labeled. Please bring us the one marked ‘SBL,’ couldst thou?”

“Oh, I see it,” said Burger. He removed a slender, white, square device from the bag. “I am surprised at the light weight of this machine.” He took it over to Ludwig.

“Thank you, Mr. Burger. You know, I really ought to market these. I’d make a lot of money quite legally.” He plugged it into an outlet on the bench.

“Out of curiosity, why don’t you use a disk format that isn’t readily available?” Mason asked.

“I developed this myself to store much more data,” Ludwig said.

Drake entered with a hologram projector. “Well, it wasn’t the best I could get, Perry, but it’s of average quality.”

“Thank you, Paul.” Paul sat down in the chair beside Perry’s. “Now, Ludwig, couldst thou please run the disk?” After the necessary connections had been made, Ludwig ran the disk. The courtroom saw all that was needed, which he had previously shown Perry Mason and Hamilton Burger.

“Need we go on?” Ludwig asked.

“Not at all. I would, however, like that thou make a device in here that can examine the Sacred Square for a heat signature.”

“Why not? I would need only ten minutes. If thou wilt have the Sacred Square brought in here, I shall proceed.”

“Very well. Lt. Tragg, couldst thou do so, please?”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Mason,” said Tragg. The lieutenant got up.

“Wait a minute, please,” said Ludwig. “I ask that thou use those heat-proof mitts on Mr. Burger’s table. They may look odd, but they are the only way to touch the Sacred Square without transferring thy heat signature onto it.”

Tragg picked up the mitts. “Thanks, Prince Ludwig.”

“My pleasure, Lieutenant. May I begin, Mr. Mason?”

“Thou mayest,” Mason said.

Ludwig got up. “Thank you.” He set up his Tote‑a‑Lab Kit and began production of the device. In a few minutes, Tragg brought in the Sacred Square and Ludwig finished the invention. “Please set the Sacred Square on that examination table. Thank thee. Now, just a flip of this switch, a touch of—please let Kevin come here; thank you—Kevin’s hands, and voilà.” In a few seconds, a slip of paper came out of the machine. Ludwig handed it to Perry.

“These heat signatures are identical, if I’m reading this correctly,” Mason said.

“Probably. Let me look at it.” Ludwig closely scrutinized the patterns on the paper. “This is regrettable. Kevin, I hope that thou’rt ready for a trip.”

“A trip where?” Kevin asked.

“Out of the N‑Team.”

Lana gulped. “Let everyone have a look at it.” In a short while, the whole jury had looked at it. Lana had also looked at it, as had the attorneys and police in the courtroom. No distinction had been made between the identities of the heat signatures.

The trial continued bumpily for some time. Mason had Dr. Wright examine Ludwig’s tester and verify its accuracy. The scientist found no flaws or deliberate errors. After the last defense and prosecution witnesses had testified, Mason and Burger gave their closing arguments. Lana sermonized the jury. It was near the hour of evening adjournment when the jury returned.

“Has the jury made a decision?” Lana asked.

“Yes, Thine Honor,” the jury foreman said. He handed an envelope to Simon, who then handed it in to Lana. Her mouth dropped open when she read it.

Don’t keep me in suspense, Lana, Kevin said. Just read it. He had no idea how wide his eyes were, though. He knew the answer already. He had been framed well. He only hoped that she would not remain in shock after this trial.

“The defendant will please stand,” Lana said. Kevin and Mason stood up. Lana summoned her strength. “Kevin Keene, on the charge of stealing the Sacred Square, the jury finds you guilty as charged.” The whole courtroom gasped.

Grinning, MotherBrain turned to Ludwig. “I cannot believe that this has happened.”

Ludwig sniffed, but the nasty smile on his face belied his true feelings. “I cannot, either.”

“Well, at least I know that I didn’t do it,” Kevin told Mason. He felt so darned mad at Ludwig. Somehow, that creep had tampered with the evidence.

“Sorry, Kevin,” Mason said. “Proof is proof. We had none, and obviously we didn’t have enough evidence to cast reasonable doubt into the jurors’ minds.” Mason got up and addressed the court. “Since I know that my client can go on just as he has for the past few years after I find definite defense evidence to clear him, I shall not object to this verdict. I am sorry, Kevin.”

“The defendant has been found guilty as charged of the robbery of the Sacred Square,” Lana said. “I sentence Kevin Keene to no longer being member of the N‑Team. He is stripped of the title of Captain N. If Mr. Mason finds proof that he is, in fact, innocent, I shall strike Kevin Keene’s sentence and return him to his position as Game Master of the Kingdom of VideoLand. Court is adjourned.” As she exited, everyone in the courtroom arose.

“Will you still be able to live in the Palace of Power, Kevin?” Mason asked.

“Yes, Mr. Mason,” said Kevin.

“Then do so. Now, Kevin, my friends and I must search for as much defensive evidence as possible for you. Until then, do nothing against Princess Lana’s wishes.”

“I never had any intention of doing so, Mr. Mason.”

MegaMan came forward with the rest of the N‑Team. The android was crying, which looked a little odd because he produced no tears. “You are the best leader we ever had, Kevin.”

“I just wish that we’d found enough evidence,” Dr. Wright said. “We could have proven that you didn’t do it.”

“Don’t look down in the dumps, guys,” said Kevin. He would never allow himself to get this dejected.

“Yes,” said Simon. “He’ll still be able to live in the Palace of Power with us and, possibly, help us. When Mason and Burger locate the needed evidence, we shall crush Ludwig von Koopa’s wish, and Kevin will be one of us again.” He never expected himself to be taking Kevin’s side, but he now felt sympathy for his leader. Like everyone else, he felt Kevin had been horribly framed, and he wished he could prove it.

“Mr. Burger, did Ludwig let you have those inventions?” Kevin asked.

“I’m having them impounded as evidence, Kevin,” Burger replied. “Don’t worry. Perry and I shall find the hole in someone’s evil plot.”

Ludwig came forward. His entire manner belied his words. “I cannot believe that this has happened, Kevin. I did not believe that someone’s trick—”

Kevin was so enraged that he could not stand any more than even those few words. “Hang on, you faker. I know that you have a dirty, rotten, sneaky trick up your diabolical sleeve.”

“Now see here, Mr. Keene. If you think that I did this, you are terribly mistaken. I would never pull such a—how did you put it?—dirty, rotten, sneaky trick.” Suddenly, he took on a sinister grin that chilled Kevin to the bone. “However, since you are no longer able to help your friends defend VideoLand, you can count on the fact that the Brain-Team will rule the Milky Way Galaxy. Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back home and—”

“Now see here, Ludwig von Koop‑stoop,” said Simon.

Ludwig frowned in offense. “What was that, Simon Belmont?”

“What did you to our friend, Kid Icarus?”

“Do I somehow bear a resemblance to Al Koopone? I had nothing to do with your friend’s disappearance. I grow angry with your shenanigans again, Simon Belmont. When I become angry, I become nasty. Good-bye, all. Have fun keeping up with me.” The Brain-Team took its leave.

“That Ludwig von Koopa gives bad guys a bad name,” said Simon.

“This is true,” Luigi said.

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

Later, back on Metroid, the Brain-Team’s leaders busied themselves making assault plans. MotherBrain laughed. “It was too easy getting old Kevin Dull out of the Nuisance-Team.”

“Yes,” said Ludwig. He grinned with great wickedness. “Now that the trial is over, I can tell you this. I cast a spell on that invisibility pill to temporarily alter King Hippo’s heat signature to seem to be Kevin’s.”

“Most ingenious, Ludwig.”

“Soon, the Nuisance-Team will be the Nevermore-Team.” As he laughed, his watch beeped. “Oops! I’m almost late. I have a wizard’s class on Hyrule today. My professor is the great Agahnim.”

“Ooh,” Larry said. “He almost defeated Link in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, but not quite. The Master Sword allowed Link to defeat Agahnim in that game and in real life.”

“Quite true. See all of you later.”

“See you,” MotherBrain said. “Don’t get skulled by a Stalfos.”

Ludwig laughed. “I’ll be sure not to.” He left.

* * *

Kevin’s Room, Palace of Power.

Returning to Kevin’s bedroom, Perry Mason and Paul Drake sought feverishly for more evidence. “Look all over the place, Paul,” Mason said. “There must be something that we overlooked.”

“I hope so,” Drake said. “If not then—” Suddenly, something caught his eye. “What’s this piece of paper stuck in the upper drawer?”

* * *

Control Room, Metroid.

ProtoMan turned on the monitor so that he and his foul compatriots might view the progress that Mason and Drake were making. “Uh, oh,” said King Hippo.

“Uh, oh?” MotherBrain said.

“Yeah. That’s what happened to my fortune cookie fortune.”

“Why, you—”

“Relax, Your Angriness. I did not leave any evidence on it.” MotherBrain growled.

Mason read the fortune. “Let’s see. ‘Your days will be full of banana milkshakes, beating up Kid Icarus, and being found guilty on the witness stand.’ Paul, we need to figure out who left this fortune cookie fortune.”

“Okay, Perry,” Drake said. “But what significance could that have in this case?”

“Plenty. It could reveal the committer, my friend.”

MotherBrain screamed. “You idiot. I’m going to fry you.”

ProtoMan readied his PlasmaBlaster. “And I will help.” He seemed quite eager to do that, in fact.

“No. Spare me,” King Hippo begged.

Larry entered the room with a lab report. “Cool down, everyone. Go ahead and spare the stooge. According to my lab report, King Hippo’s heat signature could not have gone through his thick gloves onto the fortune cookie fortune, if he didn’t directly handle it before he ingested that invisibility pill. So, no heat signature would be left behind at all. None could be detected, even with Ludwig’s device. It is, of course, different with the Sacred Square, since Ludwig did tell it to have the gloves emulate Kevin’s heat signature.” King Hippo released a sigh of relief.

* * *

Agahnim’s School for Those whom Magic Interests, Northeastern Forests, Kingdom of Hyrule, World of Hyrule.

In the ominous northeastern forests of Hyrule, Ludwig halted at the door to Agahnim’s magic school. “Well, here I am. Agahnim’s School for Those whom Magic Interests. It looks like an appropriately ominous place.” He entered the building.

Inside, Agahnim awaited Ludwig’s arrival. “My first pupil of all, Ludwig von Koopa should be here any—” Suddenly, the door opened to admit Ludwig. “—moment.”

“Good day, my professor. This place looks quite evil indeed.”

“Ah, Prince Ludwig von Koopa. Welcome to my School for Those whom Magic Interests. I do hope that you are my first pupil to pass. As it happens, you are my first pupil of all since I opened this school.”

“Oh, really? Come, now.”

“Well, not many people on Hyrule like me. And with good reason, as you know. Your first lesson, my student, will be to turn a humanoid to stone. I’m sure that you can do that simple task.”

“Of course. Just show me a humanoid besides the two of us, and I shall.”

* * *

They went out to the Village of Kakariko, in the western part of the Kingdom of Hyrule. Several people spotted them and fled in terror. “Such cowardice,” Ludwig said. “But I guess that they will have to do. Time for my target practice.” Laughing, he focused magical power for about a half of a second into his right index finger. “All right, Hyrulians. Come face me.”

“Oh, no,” a woman said. “Ludwig and Agahnim? This only means trouble. Her Highness must be alerted.”

Ludwig spotted her trying to leave town and grinned with malice. “I’m afraid that won’t be acceptable.” He fired a ray of energy from his index finger and turned the woman to stone more quickly than one could blink. He then blew on the tip of his finger.

“Excellent display!” said Agahnim.

“If you do not mind, Agahnim, I would love to wreak magical havoc, just for the fun of it.”

“Go to it, you purely evil young man. You’ll get an A-plus for this.” Ludwig went all around town, destroying, stoning, and frying everything in his way. All the while, his and Agahnim’s evil laughter echoed from the village.

* * *

Throne Room, Palace of Power.

At the Palace, the N‑Team received an urgent call from Hyrule Castle. His face deathly pale, the guard told Zelda what was happening in Kakariko. “Link and I shall return to Hyrule Castle quickly,” Zelda said. The guard saluted her, and the screen turned off. “Let’s call Link.”

Link entered the throne room. “I’m already here. What’s going on?”

“Link, we just received an urgent call from Hyrule Castle,” Lana said. “The people have informed the guards that Agahnim and Ludwig are terrorizing the populace in Kakariko Village.”

“We’d better warp there quickly.”

“I’ll get you some backup.” Lana activated the radio. “MegaMan. Simon. Mario. Please come in here.” In they came.

“What is it, Your Cuteness?” Simon asked.

“What’s the matter?” MegaMan asked.

“What the pasta’s going on?” asked Mario.

“Agahnim and Ludwig are terrorizing the populace in Kakariko Village on Hyrule,” Lana said.

“We have to warp there mega-fast,” said MegaMan. “The nearest warp to Hyrule is in the warp hall.” The group set off running to the warp hall.

“There’s one thing that I just don’t get,” Link said.

“What’s that?” asked Lana.

“My ancestor wiped out Agahnim with the Master Sword over two thousand years ago. All of the information is in the story in the instruction booklet for The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. Mason just bought the game for Kevin.”

“I know, and you also know how Ganon’s been acting up,” said Lana. “He might have brought back Agahnim.”

“Yes, that’s possible. Let’s just get going.” They all entered the warp to Hyrule. When they came out, they found themselves in the misty Lost Woods in the northwestern part of the kingdom. “Interesting. Of all the places to end up, we arrive in the Lost Woods.”

“That’s not bad,” MegaMan said. “Kevin told me that this is where the Master Sword is.”

“Didn’t he tell you that one must have the Pendants of Power, Courage, and Wisdom to get it?” Zelda asked.

“Oh. He didn’t quite mention those details, no.”

“However, I knew something may happen, anyway, so I fought through Eastern Palace, Tower of Hera, and Desert Palace and got all three Pendants,” Link said. “With Kevin’s tips, of course. Now, all that we have to do is find the Master Sword, the Sword of Evil’s Bane. According to the map that Kevin showed me, we’re near the Den of Thieves. Up at that fog bank, we should go between the trees. The Master Sword is in the pedestal. Just in case, though, we should split up and look for it. I’ll go east. Simon, go northwest. MegaMan, go northeast. Lana, go west. Zelda, go south. Whoever finds it first, call us others. Since I have the three Pendants of Virtue, only I can take it. Let’s go.” Everyone went their separate ways. In a short while, Simon came upon the Master Sword.

* * *

Wendy’s Chamber, Metroid.

Wendy was watching in her mirror-monitor in her room on Metroid. “Ah, ha!” said the evil Koopa girl. “If Simon can grab that thing, we shall be resistant to all power.” She grabbed a device linked to Ludwig’s hypnotic inducer. She spoke into a microphone to control Simon. “Oh, Simon, my big brother could use that blade. Attempt to take it.” Simon went to grab the Master Sword’s handle. He could not pull the sword out at all, not even in his hypnotized state. “Unbelievable! All right, Simon. I want you to call the others, then act in your normal manner.” With a villainous grin, she turned off the microphone. “I’ll prepare a reception for your friends in the meantime.”

Simon got a natural trumpet from his backpack and skillfully played a loud, lively tune to alert the others.

* * *

Master Sword Pedestal, Lost Woods.

Within a short while, Link and the others arrived in the misty glade with the Master Sword. “Nice work, Simon,” Lana said.

“Oh, it was nothing.”

Link read a message in the Book of Mudora, which was used for translating from Hylian to German. He spoke German quite fluently, so he needed no guide to translate it into English. “This message is in Hylian. Translated into English, it says, ‘If you are the Legendary Hero of Hyrule, the Master Sword itself will select you.’ ” He smiled. “With any luck, it won’t be too selective.” He went to the Master Sword. With the Pendants of Virtue, he was able to pull the Master Sword out of the stone. “At last. But this is so much power. It feels almost like holding a lightning bolt. Now, I can more ably defend Hyrule against—”

“Uh, oh,” Mario said. “Trouble ahead, Link. Moblins.”

“They’re just in time for a little target practice.”

“We meet again, Link,” the lead Moblin said. “But this time, for sure, you’ll pay for destroying Ganon.”

“I have the Master Sword,” said Link.

The Moblins’ eyes widened with terror. “The Master Sword! Let’s get out of here.”

“Not so fast, you vermin.” Link chased the Moblins and zapped them all with the Master Sword. “Ha! Smoked them.”

“Good going, Link,” Zelda said. “But no, I won’t kiss you.”

Link frowned. “I wasn’t even going to ask this time.”

“Good. Now, let’s go to Kakariko Village and stop Ludwig.”

* * *

Kakariko Village, Hyrule.

Later, Ludwig had recently finished his terror-spree at Kakariko Village. “Excellent,” cried Agahnim. “You have successfully completed all lessons except one.”

“And what is that lesson? I am prepared for anything.”

Agahnim saw the N‑Team coming over the rise. “Beating Link in one-to-one combat, but Link has the Master Sword. Optional, indeed.”

“Then prepare to take score.” Ludwig turned to face the N‑Team members. “Good day, Link. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Forget about attacking, Ludwig,” said Link. “Not even Ganondorf Dragmire, a.k.a. Ganon, can stand up to the Master Sword.”

“I’m afraid he’s right, Ludwig,” Agahnim said. “His ancestor defeated me with that very blade.”

Ludwig, however, was quite confident. “Not even the Master Sword can defeat a powerful lightning gun with teravolts of energy.”

If Link understood the peril in which he was placing himself, he did not show it. “Try me.”

“Interesting. You would risk your life to save a pile of stones and burnt and dead villagers?”

Shocked, Link surveyed the town. “What have you done, you creep?”

Ludwig smiled a smile that induced great horror. “I have merely made some overdue changes in town. Changes which were overdue since your ancestor defeated Ganon.”

“Why, you rotten Koopaling!”

“Merely ‘rotten’? I feel insulted, Link Chance. I would prefer ‘rotten-to-the-core.’ Prepare to meet your and the Master Sword’s match.” He laughed wickedly. “Ancient Spirits of Evil, have Hyrule’s atmosphere obey my command!” He put up his arms at an upper forty-five-degree angle. Four beams of energy formed, two per hand. The index fingers on both hands fired rays into the atmosphere. The middle fingers on both hands received rays from the atmosphere, as if in answer to some call by his rays. “Prepare to meet your fate, Link. Maestro, some of Beethoven’s Fifth!” Mysteriously, out of nowhere, the first movement Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony began to be played.

Link’s mouth gaped open in shock. “Whence comes the music?”

“Why, it is I who am making it.”

“Intriguing. But I must bring your devilish symphony to an end.” He fired a lightning bolt from the Master Sword. The shot bounced off Ludwig like a mere sheet of paper. “What?”

Ludwig laughed. “My body can deflect your Master Sword’s rays. Now, see if that Master Sword can deflect this.” Laughing, he fired at Link enough energy to light up the world for years. Link put up the Master Sword in defense, but the electricity passed through the Master Sword as though it were thin air and hit Link. The Hylian screamed and then fell unconscious. “Unfortunate Hyrulian. Do you really think that you can withstand my energy?”

“As ruler of this land, I order you to cease your activities here,” Zelda said haughtily.

“Why should I wish to do that?”

“Because this is uncalled-for.”

“Uncalled-for, you say? I seem to recall that Link asked for it. If you so desire, I can spare another teravolt or two for you, as well.”

“Hey, turtle-face,” Mario said. “You may have stopped him, but I still have a Kuribo’s Shoe.” He whipped out a large, green Kuribo’s Shoe and put it on.

Ludwig’s eyebrows went up. “A Kuribo’s Shoe? Keep your distance, Mario.”

“You hold him off, Mario,” Lana said. “Zelda and I will get to the castle and get the Triforces.”

“Okay, Your Highnesses,” said Mario. “You can count on me.”

“I guess we’d better carry Link,” Zelda said. Princesses Lana and Zelda carried Link as they headed for Hyrule Castle.

“Hold it right there, my ladies,” said Ludwig. “I did not give you leave to depart.”

“No, you hold it,” Mario said. He leapt into the air. Ludwig tried to shock him, but his electricity was blunted.

“Darn. Nothing will penetrate that blasted shoe.” He screamed just before Mario made a loud landing right on top of him. “Get off me. Now!”

“My pleasure.” Mario leapt off Ludwig.

“That is not fair play.”

“You never play fair, you sinister reptile.”

“That is false. I fight by my own rules, plumber, as is my wont.”

* * *

As Mario was holding off Ludwig, Lana and Zelda arrived at Hyrule Castle with Link. They approached the soldiers guarding the entrance. “Soldiers, we need you to get Link to the hospital,” Zelda said. “He has received a terrible electrical shock.”

“Right away, Princess Zelda.” The soldiers relieved the women of Link and took him away.

“Quickly, Lana. We must get the Triforces before it is too late.” They ran into the throne room and got the Triforces. They then ran back out towards Kakariko Village.

* * *

In the village, Mario was still holding off Ludwig. Agahnim charged up his malevolent magic to help his villainous pupil. “Stop, Mario.”

“Stop? Okay. I’ll stop you cold.” Still wearing his Kuribo’s Shoe, Mario leaped toward Agahnim.

“No! That is not what I meant.” Agahnim opened fire on Mario, but his magic did not penetrate the sole of the shoe. Mario squashed Agahnim.

“Now you are a wizard pancake.” The plumber laughed.

“Get off me.”

While Mario was distracted, Ludwig managed to regain some of his energy. “I have fooled around enough with you, Mario. I have other priorities that need my attention. It is time to end this.”

“You’re right,” said Mario. “Here come Lana and Zelda with the Triforces.”

Ludwig gasped when he saw the princesses approaching. Now, suddenly, the victorious fourth movement of Beethoven’s Fifth began being played. “Oh, no. The music of victory bodes ill for me.”

“Mario,” Lana called. “Grab one.” She tossed the Triforce of Power towards Mario, who caught it. Princess Lana now had the Triforce of Wisdom, Princess Zelda the Triforce of Courage.

“Uh, oh, Agahnim,” said Ludwig. “It is my carefully considered opinion that we should effect a strategic withdrawal within the next few seconds if we value our dignity.”

“I quite agree,” Agahnim said. “Let’s get out of here!”

“Not so fast, Ludwig,” Mario said. “I want to meatball you.” As Mario spoke, the Triforce of Power made a huge meatball that landed on Ludwig.

Ludwig managed to get his head and hands out from under the meatball. None could mistake his fury. “Get this thing off me.”

“Wow. This thing really works. All right, Ludwig. Prepare to be covered in spaghetti and meat-sauce.”

Ludwig got out his telecom device. “King Hippo. Mouser. Get out here and help me immediately.” King Hippo and Mouser warped into the meatball, further crushing Ludwig’s back. “Ouch!” They stepped out of the meatball.

Mouser could not resist laughing. “You’ve been meatballed, boss. You’re facing a crushing defeat.” He rolled on the ground with laughter.

Enraged, Ludwig clenched his fist. Mouser’s laughter was cut off when Ludwig’s energy constricted his throat. “Enough foolishness. When I get my claws on you, I shall rip you into cheese slices. Now, get this cursèd thing off of me before Mario covers me in—” Suddenly, spaghetti and meat-sauce fell in the area containing Ludwig, the meatball, King Hippo, and Mouser. Ludwig sighed. “—spaghetti and meatsauce. Get me out of here immediately.” He readied his finger to fire energy at the two, but no power came out. “What? Oh, curse me. I wasted my power on those villagers. I advise you two not to wait until Larry gets here. He’ll torture you with ancient Koopa interrogation techniques.”

King Hippo’s mouth gaped open. “Come on, cheese-brain. Let’s get him out from under this meatball before he blows his top.” King Hippo and Mouser rolled the huge meatball off Ludwig. “How are you, boss?”

“Need you ask? I’m in excruciating pain thanks to that pasta-pounding plumber. You will pay dearly for this outrage, Mario.”

“Sorry, Ludwig,” said Mario. “I left my Mushroomian money in my other overalls.”

“Oh, yeah?” Mouser said. “My Bob‑omb will fix you.” Laughing, he created a Bob‑omb and threw it at Mario.

“Triforce of Power, make that thing a dud,” Mario said. The Bob‑omb landed in front of him. When the fuse had burnt in, the Bob‑omb did not explode.

“Hmm. I guess it was not ripe. Hey, Mario. Toss it back to me. Unripe Bob‑ombs taste good.”

Ludwig’s eyes widened. “What?”

Mario laughed to himself. “What a sucker. He’s asking for it. All right, Mouser. Here it comes.” He tossed the Bob‑omb back at Mouser and then whispered a secret command to the Triforce he was holding.

Mouser caught the Bob‑omb. “Ah. At least these dud Bob‑ombs are tasty snacks.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t do that,” Ludwig said.

“Hey, it’s a dud.” Mouser chucked the Bob‑omb in his mouth, chewed it, and swallowed it. “Yum!” The Bob‑omb exploded in his stomach. Mouser fell onto his rear end, his sunglasses askew, with smoke coming out of his mouth and ears. He loosed a disgusting burp. “Then again, maybe the Bob‑omb was ripe.”

“Come on, Mouser,” King Hippo said. “Let’s beat it.” King Hippo grabbed Mouser’s arm and dragged him to the warp to Metroid.

“As my malicious father always says, ‘He who Koops and runs away lives to Koop another day.’ ” With wicked laughter, Ludwig and Agahnim entered the warp to Metroid.

Mario began to feel celebratory until his eyes landed on all the hurt people and damaged property in the village. “Looks like the celebration will have to wait until we help everybody.”

“Yeah,” Zelda said. “Let’s get to it.”